Betrayal of Love and Trust
by lemonjay
Summary: The story begins atop Fort Drakon and deals with the aftermath of victory and the choices made to secure it.
1. Chapter 1

I_t goes without saying that BioWare/EA own Dragon Age and all associated intellectual property. I am just playing in their sandbox hoping I don't make a mess._

Chapter One

Kathryne Cousland rose to her feet and tried to slow her breathing. She stood on the roof of Fort Drakon facing the wounded Archdemon. Her chest ached from where the dragon had struck her sending her crashing into the fort's battlements and she could feel the pain of a hundred cuts received during the fierce combat she had endured to even get this far . She looked to her right and hoped that Oghren the drunken fool of a dwarf who had joined her quest in Orzammar and now lay on the ground beside her was alright. Moments ago the pair had used the distraction created by their companions, the archer bard Leliana and the mage Wynne to press in close to the Archdemon.

Oghren had landed a deadly strike biting deep into the shoulder of the dragon with his battleaxe and when it had reared up Kathryne had charged at the beast and used a two-handed thrust to drive her longsword deep into its chest. Unfortunately, both had in turn been caught as the Archdemon furious in its pain had contorted unexpectedly and struck them both with its massive tail before collapsing before them.

The Archdemon still breathed but its life was failing, Kathryne needed to get close and land the fatal blow quickly. She saw her family shield bearing the Cousland coat of arms on the ground but could not see her sword Starfang, perhaps it was still buried in the chest of the foul creature before her.

Lightning streaked out and struck the Archdemon and Kathryne's heart stopped beating.

"Cease fire! Cease fire!" she yelled and her voice carried over the roar of the fighting as though the Maker himself had spoken the words. "If anyone other than a Grey Warden lands the fatal blow the Archdemon will be reborn and all we have fought and bled for will have been for nothing."

Kathryne approached the head of the dragon grabbing an abandoned sword along the way. She paused and it was as though time stood still. She could see a great battle in the center of the roof where the allies she had gathered to her cause, the mages, Dalish elves, dwarves, and human soldiers, battled darkspawn who attacked savagely as they tried to save the Archdemon who called out to them. She looked at her companions who had joined her for this final battle: Oghren now standing uneasily with the support of Wynne and thought of his crude nature and love of drink but she knew also that there were few better to stand beside in a fight; Wynne, a powerful mage always ready with a spell or sound advice; and Leliana, the beautiful bard who could enchant the senses with tales and song and was as deadly with a blade as her mighty bow.

She thought of her mother and father dead at the hands of Arl Howe who had betrayed them under the banner of friendship. She thought of her brother Fergus dead at Ostagar, spared the pain of knowing that his wife and young son were also slain by Howe. Kathryne took some small comfort that she could face her family knowing that she had avenged their deaths and had slain that bastard Howe by her own hand and also later the traitor Teryn Loghain at the Landsmeet. Lastly, she thought of her lover and fellow Grey Warden Alistair whom she had made King of this land and who waited outside the city gates by her order to protect him from performing this final act, slaying the Archdemon and giving up her very soul in the process. She loved Alistair with all her heart and had seen the pain on his face when she had left him behind in relative safety knowing that she was walking to her death.

She grasped the pommel of her sword with both hands and raised it to strike. Tears fell from her eyes as she roared out a battle cry and drove her sword down, the point of her sword cleaving the dragon's massive skull.

Kathryne felt as though her skin was on fire and closed her eyes to shield them from a light almost as bright as the sun which poured from the Archdemon where her blade had pierced the beast. She was in so much pain that she prayed to the Maker for a quick release but she refused to let go of her sword until the Archdemon had fallen. Finally, she felt the great dragon shudder in death as she felt herself being thrown from its corpse and falling into darkness.

Kathryne opened her eyes expecting to see her family in the fade but instead she saw the familiar face of Wynne above her. "Wynne? What's going on? Am I dead?"

"I should hope not young lady you were grievously injured and a team of mages have been working for over a day to heal you but you are fine. Denerim is still being cleared and you are in camp outside the city," Wynne answered wearily but with compassion in her voice.

Kathryne panicked; did Alistair somehow manage to take the fatal blow? "What of Alistair? Does he still live?" Wynne looked at the young Warden and saw a crazed look in her eyes.

"Rest easy child, I will return in a moment," Wynne said as her hand brushed Kathryne's cheek tenderly.

Kathryne felt as though she would burst if she didn't get some answers, she had to know Alistair's fate. She quickly dressed in a tunic and breeches that had been set out for her and sat down on her bed.

The flap of her tent opened and in came all her friends: Wynne; Leliana; Oghren; Sten the stoic Qunari warrior; Zevran the former Antivan Crow assassin; Shale the stone golem; her faithful mabari hound Sarim who approached her and began licking her face; and finally her heart Alistair. Her friends lived; she had not led them to their deaths.

"You had us all worried Kathryne," Alistair said and she could hear the happiness in his voice.

The joy she felt at seeing her closest friends filled her up and she embraced them each in turn but she had to know how she was still alive and she feared the answer. "I am so happy to see you all but please I need to speak to Alistair alone," she said and then added "it's a Grey Warden matter."

Kathryne received telling looks from Leliana and Wynne as if they expected that the reason she wanted to be alone with Alistair was because of their relationship, there was no way they could guess her true reason.

Once alone Alistair embraced her and kissed her tenderly. She met the passion of his kiss but then pulled away.

"Alistair, do you know why I am alive? Riordan said that the Warden who killed the Archdemon would die." Kathryne suspected she knew the answer but had to give Alistair the chance to tell her.

"I don't know my love perhaps the Wardens were mistaken."

"Alistair, answer me truthfully. Did Morrigan come to you our last night in Redcliffe and offer you a bargain to ensure that no Warden died killing the Archdemon?" she asked the tension rising in the tent. Kathryne found her answer when Alistair could no longer meet her eyes.

"Did that _traitorous bitch who called me sister_ tell you that she also came to me with the same offer, asking me to convince you to lay with her and conceive a child which would receive the Old God's spirit once the Archdemon was killed?" she asked her anger causing her voice to rise. "Did Morrigan tell you that I refused her even though it broke my heart?"

"Please forgive me, I did it for you," Alistair said to her shamefully tears running down his cheeks. "I couldn't lose you; I love you too much and want to make you my queen." He reached out to caress her cheek.

Kathryne swatted Alistair's hand away from her. A part of her was touched that Alistair cared that much for her but that could not overcome her anger. She had spent enough time with Morrigan to know that the thought of her raising a child with the soul of an Old God could end up being worse than the Archdemon itself. Kathryne would not entrust such a child to the Divine herself let alone her. Morrigan had been so evasive when Kathryne had raised questions about the child and her plans so certain that Kathryne would jump upon any chance at continued life, wielding Kathryne's love for Alistair to try and bludgeon her into agreement. Couslands though were made of sterner stuff, Couslands do what must be done and so she had refused. She had thought Morrigan gone forever after the harsh words they had exchanged but now she knew that she would see the witch again and Maker willing Morrigan would not survive the meeting. Morrigan had used Alistair, played upon his fears and his naivety, and stained his honour and hers as he acted for her benefit.

"Alistair you did not do this for me – you did it for yourself. You've betrayed everything the Grey Wardens represent," she said barely a whisper. "I love you Alistair but you should have let me die up on that roof. I made you King because I believed you would be a great King, you have a kind soul and a generous heart and I was content to give my life for you knowing that you would live and that I could never be the queen you needed."

"What are saying Kathryne? We love each other, what more do we need?"

"Alistair, I was the raised as the daughter of a teryn, raised to lead and protect those I ruled and to place the needs of my people first. When I spoke to Riordan he told me that a male Grey Warden has a difficult time siring a child and that it was impossible for two Grey Wardens to conceive. This land, your Kingdom, you deserve a queen who can provide you an heir and we both know that it cannot be me." Kathryne felt as though pieces of her heart were ripped from her as each word left her lips. She looked down half expecting to see blood spreading across her chest.

"I don't care so long as you are with me, by my side, loving me."

"Damn it Alistair a King must think of more than his own desires. You lead a nation and your decisions affect everyone in this land. You have a duty that is greater than either of us and if you doubt my words ask yourself what Duncan would do." Kathryne pushed him aside and left her tent leaving Alistair alone with his thoughts. The tears she had held back now flowed freely.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two

It had been three days since the Archdemon had been defeated and the darkspawn horde routed. For Denerim's liberators and those who had stayed behind during the siege the days were filled with hard exertion, soul crushing grief and all too briefly unbridled joy at finding a survivor or reuniting a family. Warriors, mages, and every able body of all races moved through the city killing any darkspawn not yet driven underground, rendering aid to the wounded and collecting the dead. Though in truth the cost in lives and the destruction of the city was less than Leliana had feared when she had first seen the sacked city it was little consolation. She only had to close her eyes and she could smell the death and burned flesh from the many paired pyres, one for the honoured dead the other for darkspawn that dotted the city and both pyres seemed as if they would burn eternally. Leliana knew that all those who had survived would bear both a bond of fellowship and a scar on their heart from what they seen. Her bard training wanted her to take in every detail for an epic poem or a rousing ballad but she had seen so much since she had joined the Wardens, her dearest friends Kathryne and Alistair, in Lothering that it was hardly required anymore.

Alistair, the uncrowned Warden King, had seen to it that large tables had been erected here in the palace courtyard and in several other locations throughout the city where food and drink was provided and all people could break bread together informally and gain some small comfort in each other's company. Alistair, Kathryne and her fellow companions travelled throughout the city helping where they could, providing comfort where needed and rarely eating twice in the same location and always meeting grateful people. The cynic in Leliana, honed from her time living in the petty politics of Orlais, suggested that this was just a ploy, designed to stroke their egos, to bask in the love of the people and truly there was not a moment when they were not pressed from people honouring them with their love and words of thanks but she knew the hearts of her friends.

Leliana watched as Kathryne sat down across from her for dinner with a heaping plate and she could see that her friend remained deeply troubled. Others might not have noticed the forced cheer she wore or the pain in her eyes when people clutched at her, thanking her for their lives and calling her a hero but Leliana did. She had travelled with the Warden for over a year and knew her as a sister, as someone who had shared dangers, who had saved her life and whose life she had saved. She knew that Kathryne did not seek glory and had heard her tell anyone who would listen than she was no more of a hero than any other who had fought though Leliana knew this to be false. While Leliana and her fellow companions followed the Warden she knew that it was Kathryne, her strength, her drive, her refusal to submit to the seemingly impossible task before them, and her love and compassion that had truly pressed them onwards in those moments of doubt and despair and it was her who finally ended the Blight. Leliana believed strongly that the Maker had placed Kathryne in this role because she was the only one who could have succeeded. In Leliana's eyes her friend was a hero even before she slew the Archdemon and won the war.

Leliana could see and feel the tension between Alistair and Kathryne but had been unable to get either to open up to her. Since Kathryne had awoken after the final battle the two barely looked at each other and spoke only when required and even now they sat away from each other. During their travels Leliana had been overjoyed when the inexperienced pair's friendship had blossomed into love and yet now it seemed as though a wall higher than those surrounding the castle had been built between the two and the weight and pain of it was threatening to overwhelm them both. The only time since the fall of the Archdemon that Leliana had seen her friend truly happy and so like the Kathryne of old was this morning at breakfast when her lost brother Fergus had found her.

Kathryne had thought her brother fallen at Ostagar and were it not for Chasind barbarians finding him and tending his wounds he would have been counted among the dead. It tore at Leliana's heart when Kathryne embraced her older brother crying tears of joy and sadness while offering apologies for the deaths of their parents, Fergus' wife and young son as if she could have prevented it, the remembered pain still so raw and fresh.

"There, there dry your eyes you know father would not want to see you like this. I know how much you loved them all and there was nothing you could have done to stop that rotten bastard Howe," Fergus held his sister close and stroked the back of her head nestled into his chest.

"I killed him Fergus, I killed Howe myself and avenged them all," Kathryne said her voice barely more than a whisper and heavy with sadness.

Leliana had thought to excuse herself so as not to intrude on their reunion but Kathryne had insisted she stay. "Leliana, knowing Fergus he'll want to hear everything and I am no bard and won't do the tale justice besides you're my family too, please stay," Kathryne had said. Leliana knew how close the siblings were from the stories Kathryne had told when they had spoken around the campfire or had passed the time standing watch and she suspected that her friend merely wanted to hold her brother and keep him close and not bother with anything else as if releasing him would cause Fergus to disappear.

Stories were exchanged with Fergus telling of his time among the Chasind; of emerging from the Korcari Wilds to find Highever fallen and all he loved dead; of fighting in the Bannorn hoping to gain support to retake Highever or else find a way to spend his life killing Howe and then Leliana telling tales of battling werewolves in the Brecilian Forest, fighting abominations in the Circle of Magi, killing darkspawn in the Deep Roads under Orzammar and finally watching Kathryne drive her blade into the Archdemon. By the time Leliana had finished telling her tale many hours had passed and a large group had sat around her enchanted by her words though she had not noticed them until she had finished so caught up in the tale herself.

Leliana finished her dinner and then decided upon a plan. Excusing herself from the table she quickly ran to the room she shared with Kathryne and grabbed her lute. Returning she began to play and sing a rousing song intended to lift everyone's spirits. She soon found herself joined by others as drums, flutes, horns and more lutes accompanied her. Still singing she walked into the crowd and pulled Kathryne and Fergus out to dance, then Wynne and Alistair, Zevran and Shiani, and quickly many others joined in the revelry. As the song neared its end she called for everyone to change partners on the left meaning Kathryne and Alistair were now partnered. As the song ended she began to sing a love ballad of Highever that she knew was Kathryne's favourite, quickly before anyone could leave the improvised dance floor. She smiled as she watched the Wardens dance together and hoped that whatever problems had come between them that this might be the beginnings of a resolution. Leliana caught a telling smile and nod of approval from Wynne, now partnered with Zevran, she too must have caught the tension between the young lovers and had deduced Leliana's intentions. One ballad was quickly replaced by another and Leliana continued to watch the Wardens dance and she could see the love in their eyes and the glow about them until suddenly Kathryne pulled back, so quickly the spell from the dance had been broken and the love on their faces became awkward glances that reminded Leliana of back when the pair were trying to figure out their feelings unsure of how to proceed and afraid to hurt the other. She watched as Kathryne excused herself from Alistair and walked away hurt plain on both their faces.

Later when it was time for bed Leliana returned to her shared room to find Kathryne crying into her pillow in the dark one hand stretched out to rub her hound Sarim.

"Please Kathryne tell me what troubles you," Leliana asked. "I would give anything to help you and if I can't help at least talk to me and maybe you'll find some comfort from the sharing."

"It's too terrible…just give me tonight and let me think on it tomorrow," she said her plea muffled by the pillow.

Shocked at the pain and vulnerability in Kathryne's voice and not knowing what else to do she laid down beside her friend, her sister and held her close until sleep claimed them both.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Arl Eamon Guerrin of Redcliffe and his brother Bann Teagan looked at their nephew Alistair across the desk in the King's study with concern. Alistair looked as though he had not slept at all and there was a melancholy that seemed to radiate from him. After the Blight had ended Eamon had insisted that every morning Alistair meet with both he and Teagan who were currently serving as his Chancellors so that they could discuss the reports they were receiving from around the country, make plans and decisions regarding the rebuilding of the capital city of Denerim and also the nation, discuss diplomacy with foreign powers and also the powers within Ferelden, the nobles, the dwarves of Orzammar and the Dalish elves. In short, Eamon and Teagan met with Alistair to begin his lessons on ruling this country as being the bastard son of King Maric he had not been raised to rule.

Eamon was not looking forward to their discussions today. It had been four days since Kathryne had killed the Archdemon and ended the Blight and the darkspawn had retreated quickly and while it would take time to rebuild, the recovery efforts in Denerim, aided by the dwarves and Dalish, were almost complete. It was time to finalize the date of Alistair's coronation so that the remaining nobility can be brought to Denerim to swear fealty and he and Teagan agreed that the subject of a queen and an heir to the throne needed to be addressed as well.

Eamon loved Ferelden deeply, his family had fought to overthrow the Orlesians and his sister, Rowan had married King Maric and bore him a son Cailan the former King now dead at Ostagar. He was raised in politics and when he put Alistair forward as King it was based on his belief in the Theirin bloodline of Maric which stretched back to the revered King Calenhad the Great who first united Ferelden.

Eamon suspected that Alistair would want to make his fellow Warden Kathryne his Queen and while he had seen their love for each other after they had restored to him to health with Andraste's ashes and had initially thought a marriage to a Teryn's daughter would solidify Alistair's rule now he was not sure if this was a wise move. While the Grey Wardens were looked upon favourably by the people of Ferelden their stature surely increasing with the Blight's defeat and Kathryne was a beautiful, strong woman and Teryn's daughter he feared that her presence as both Queen and 'Hero of Ferelden, Conqueror of Archdemons and destroyer of the Fifth Blight' as some had taken to calling her would overshadow Alistair and render him impotent.

The politics of succession were brutal even when a proper heir was in place. Eamon thought back to when King Maric had passed and the nobility had been reluctant to accept Cailan as King and he had travelled to Highever to meet with Bryce Cousland and determine his intentions as many were pushing him to take the throne. He had not known at the time that Bryce, who he had fought beside against the Orlesians and was an honourable man, had no plans to take the throne and was going to support Cailan. He had first met Kathryne then when she was little more than a child and had remarked to Bryce that it was a shame she wasn't older as she would have made a fine queen for Cailan and now here he was less than a decade later hoping to convince Alistair not to make her his queen.

They settled that the coronation would be held in three days, one week to the day of their victory over the Blight which should allow for all to be in attendance as Eamon had taken the liberty of sending out notice of an impending coronation by horse and sail two days ago. When the subject of a queen was raised Alistair refused to speak of it only saying "I know my duty and when I find a queen that will have me I will let you know." Eamon managed to keep his smile from showing.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter Four

Kathryne woke early as was her custom to find herself beside Leliana with one the bards arms draped over her shoulder. She thought of how lucky she was to have found a friend like her, a trusted confidante who brought joy with her enthusiasm and her lovely voice to those around her. She knew that she owed her friend, who worried about both her and Alistair, some explanation as to what had driven her and Alistair apart but she wasn't sure if she could tell the whole truth.

How do you tell someone that you should be dead, that your love had participated in a dark magic ritual with Morrigan to prevent your death? That Morrigan, the witch she thought she knew, had conceived a child with Alistair to steal the corrupted soul of the Old God that had resided in the Archdemon. That although she had refused to even consider the ritual to save any Warden lives and did not know what Alistair had done until she awoke after the final battle she still felt responsible. How can she tell Leliana that when people thank her for ending the Blight all she can think about is that in her name somewhere a child grows inside Morrigan with the potential to be worse than any Archdemon? How can she tell her of the anger she feels that Alistair did this and that despite it all she looks at him and would like nothing better than to be held in his strong arms and kiss him passionately? No better to tell Leliana a partial truth, perhaps later when the wounds and the betrayal are not so raw she can be completely honest.

Kathryne tried to slide from her bed without waking her friend, tried and failed. "One of these days Leliana I'll get the slip on you," she laughed.

"You're getting better, but remember I have years of practice and with all due respect the grace of a dancer," the bard said with a grin.

"You and I are both lucky my mother is not still alive to hear that. As a proper Teryn's daughter I was taught to dance and sew and all the other 'noblewoman arts' in order to land a husband and she would think I hadn't been paying attention all those years and would set you as my taskmaster," Kathryne said jokingly.

"You seem in better spirits today, it suits you."

"A bit, thank you for the shoulder to cry on. I was hoping that later we could borrow some horses and talk privately away from all this," Kathryne moved her arms to encompass the castle. "I owe you some answers."

"My friend you don't owe me anything, I just want to see you happy," Leliana said and Kathryne knew it to be true.

* * *

Kathryne was eating breakfast with her friends and brother when the King arrived fresh from his meeting with Arl Eamon and Bann Teagan.

"I hope I'm not too late to join you all," Alistair said. "Also, I believe some proper introductions are in order."

"Forgive me Alistair when I had tried to introduce him earlier you were in a discussions with Arl Eamon and I did not wish to interrupt and there has been so much for us to catch up on," Kathryne said. "Allow me to introduce my brother Fergus."

"It is a pleasure to meet you Fergus though I feel as if I already know you," Alistair said. "On the road your sister spoke often of you and your family and I can't imagine how overjoyed she was to see you. I am sorry for your loss but please know that I signed the proclamation returning Highever to the Couslands with you as the Teryn," he said as he handed over a scroll bearing the royal crest and seal. "Should you need anything to rebuild the Terynir please ask as this nation owes a debt to your family that we can never repay."

"My thanks your majesty, please join us," Fergus said shaking Alistair's hand.

"Fergus, I am issuing a royal decree for you to tell us some embarrassing stories about our dear friend Kathryne," Alistair said with a sparkle in his eye and for a time it felt as if they were all back out on the road.

* * *

As she walked through Denerim it amazed Kathryne how quickly life was beginning to return to normal. Several shops had reopened, new vendors and goods were arriving by horse-drawn cart and sail and the armies who had so recently freed the city were preparing to leave.

Along with Alistair and their companions they were returning from visiting the Dwarven army having asked several of its leaders to stay for the formal coronation to affirm the friendship with the dwarves and also honour their aid and sacrifice and were now travelling to the Dalish clans for the same purpose.

They came to an area in the middle of where the Dalish clans were grouped where felled trees were placed in a circular formation and they were told that whoever was speaking would stand in the middle to address all.

"Ma serannas, thank you honoured keepers of the Elvhen for agreeing to speak to the Grey Wardens," Kathryne said as she bowed before the assembled keepers. "We honour and thank you for assisting the Wardens in ending the Blight and regret the loss of life incurred in defeating evil." Kathryne and Alistair had decided along the way that she would make the initial introductions. "For any who may not know I am Kathryne Cousland and this is my fellow Grey Warden and new King of Ferelden Alistair Theirin."

"As both King and Warden I want to thank you, your people aren't treated right and…" Alistair said stumbling for words.

"If I may be so bold as to speak on my King's behalf I believe what he is trying to say is that while some ignorant people speak ill of the Dalish he knows that you are a proud people of honour and courage as you so ably demonstrated in the liberation of Denerim," Kathryne interjected.

"Yes thank you Warden those are the words for what is in my heart," Alistair said now more confident in his words. "Please forgive me I am used to speaking simply and not for a country. In recognition of your bravery, honour and aid against the Blight I have decided to grant the land south of Ostagar to the Dalish people for a new homeland. It is a rough, wild land removed from the rest of Ferelden where the Dalish may establish a home separate from human lands though I hope the Dalish will not withdraw entirely as I believe that both our peoples gain in sharing. Our two peoples haven't always been friends but I hope that together we can change that."

Kathryne looked around and the shock on the Keepers' faces was evident and was matched by her own. When their group had rescued Lanaya's clan from the werewolves and secured their commitment to the Grey Warden cause she had discussed the plight of the Dalish with Alistair lamenting their mistreatment and wishing that something could be done for them but never did she envision something like this. While the intended lands were not held by any of Ferelden's nobility this would still likely harm him politically but one thing she knew about Alistair was he had a strong sense of loyalty and he would feel that helping the Dalish in this way was the right thing to do.

"Ma serenas, Warden King Alistair," Keeper Lanaya said grasping his hand. "On behalf of the Dalish I thank you for the gift of a new homeland and we also look to a future of friendship and peace between our peoples. May the blessings of the Creators fall upon you."

After several more hours of discussions, during which she had to elbow Oghren several times in the stomach to silence his snores, it was decided that Keeper Lanaya's clan would remain to represent the Dalish at the coronation and that they were all invited back that evening for a grand celebration of the clans for their new homeland.

"Thank you Alistair for giving the Dalish a homeland," Kathryne said as the group walked back to the castle. "You do know that some nobles will be after you for this?"

"While your approval is welcome I gave them the land because it is the right thing to do, Ferelden owes them at least that much," Alistair replied. "As for the nobility I convinced Arl Eamon that strategically it made sense to give 'worthless' land to the Dalish since if the darkspawn attack from the south again they will first encounter an army of deadly Elvish bows so I think that argument will work for the others."

"How did Eamon respond to that argument?"

"He said that I was learning to be a king and that he was proud of me," Alistair said laughingly.

"I am proud of you too, I told you before that I think you'll make a good king, my only hope is that being King doesn't change you," Kathryne said while looking Alistair in the eyes.

* * *

Kathryne and Leliana were joined by Wynne for their horse ride and while Wynne's presence was not expected it was not unwelcome as she did provide sensible counsel. They stopped atop a cliff overlooking Denerim and its harbour busy with arriving ships.

"I feel I owe you an explanation regarding my behaviour over the last few days concerning Alistair and while I am prepared to discuss it to do so involves sharing some Grey Warden secrets and so I must have your word that what we speak of will never be repeated as it might mean all of our deaths," Kathryne said to her friends. Both Leliana and Wynne agreed to hold everything in the strictest confidence.

"You both know that Grey Wardens can sense darkspawn and I told you that only a Warden can kill an Archdemon but do you know why?" Kathryne asked.

"I always suspected that there was a magical aspect to your joining which connected you to the darkspawn. I suspected something like a magical sigil was branded upon you similar to what is done to the tranquil. The Wardens have long had many powerful mages," Wynne answered.

"In truth there is a magical component to the joining but it is my understanding that it is a small part. A mage is used to finish concocting a mixture of darkspawn blood, a drop of blood from an Archdemon , lyrium and some herbs and roots. A warden recruit drinks the darkspawn blood and takes the darkspawn taint into her and should she survive becomes a Grey Warden." Kathryne looked to her friends and saw only horror on their faces; she had just told her friends that Wardens practiced a form of blood magic. "Many recruits fail to survive the joining; I was the only survivor of three at my joining. The taint within us allows us to sense when darkspawn are nearby just as they can also sense us. During the Blight the Archdemon called to us like an ever-present noise in our heads and we would dream of it as well, such horrible dreams," she said with a shiver. "I suspect that the taint also fortifies us to some degree and no doubt you have seen the appetites both Alistair and I possess though I cannot be certain of other effects since Alistair does not know either."

"The darkspawn taint is also killing the Grey Warden providing about thirty years of life before the Calling when a Warden travels to Orzammar to venture out into the Deep Roads to die killing darkspawn. Should a Warden refuse to undertake the Calling he would turn into a ghoul as the taint finally overwhelms him."

"The darkspawn taint also makes it very difficult for a Warden to have children. One Warden has a small chance of conceiving but for two Wardens it is all but impossible to have a child. If Maker willing we were to conceive would a child born to two tainted parents even be human?" Kathryne said no longer able to stop the tears that now ran freely down her face.

"I fully expected to die killing the Archdemon knowing that eventually Alistair would move on with his life, but now he wants me to be his Queen and though I love him I cannot accept as he deserves better and this nation must have an heir. It is almost funny that I spent so much time avoiding would-be suitors who looked upon me only as a source of political power only wanting to find someone who I loved and who also loved me for me not who my father was and now that I have found him we cannot be together. So I ask you to please accept that Alistair and I cannot be together, it hurts too much for me to be around him and please don't say anything to him, I've already told him my wishes."

"I'm so sorry I never expected that, I just figured it was a small lovers' quarrel soon to be forgotten if I could keep finding ways for you two to be together," Leliana said as she hugged Kathryne crying.

"Oh child, I knew Grey Warden's sacrificed to be what they are, no power comes without cost, but I never imagined how steep the price," said Wynne as she reached out to touch Kathryne's cheek. "You'll get no more mothering from me…at least on this," she said with smile trying to lighten the mood.

The three women spent the remainder of the afternoon watching the harbour and talking about silly things and just enjoying each other's company.

* * *

_On a personal note I wanted to thank everyone who has reviewed/placed this story on alert for their comments and validation. I think we all write primarily for ourselves but it is always helpful to receive feedback whether positive or negative._


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter Five

"Arise Alistair Theirin, King of Ferelden and may the Maker bless you," the Grand Cleric of Ferelden said as she placed the crown atop his head. Alistair looked impressive in his suit of heavy plate armour, similar to Cailan's armour recovered in Ostagar but less ornate and more practical or at least as practical as golden armour can be, his father Maric's sword at his side.

"Thank you Your Grace," Alistair said to the Grand Cleric and then turned to the assembled nobles and honoured guests to the sound of cheers.

The assembled Lords and Ladies then each approached the King swearing fealty to him with Fergus Cousland as the sole Teryn going last after Arl Eamon of Redcliffe.

"Teryn Cousland, your family has suffered much during the recent troubles and were betrayed by a traitor to Ferelden, Arl Rendon Howe now dead for his crimes. It will not balance the scales but I do hereby grant the Arling of Amaranthine to the Couslands to rule over as you see fit."

"Your Majesty, I am speechless," Fergus said then paused thinking carefully on his next words. "There is much I must do to restore Highever so instead I would ask that you my King to give the Arling of Amaranthine to my sister, the Grey Warden Kathryne Cousland, to rule on behalf of the Wardens as they rebuild their Order here in Ferelden and task the Wardens to remain vigilant for future darkspawn threats."

"Speaking as a Grey Warden myself I think that is a grand idea and I do so now proclaim to all in attendance that the Arling of Amaranthine is hereby granted to the Grey Wardens to rule for the betterment of Ferelden. Warden Cousland, the Hero of Ferelden, please come forward."

Kathryne climbed the stairs and approached the King kneeling before him. She was wearing the freshly polished blue Warden Commander armour that had belonged to Sophia Dryden, her long black hair was styled in elaborate fashion by Leliana who had also applied her makeup. She looked both beautiful and deadly equal parts noblewoman and Warden, slayer of the Archdemon Urthemial.

"Kathryne Cousland, do you accept the Arling of Amaranthine to rule on behalf of the Grey Wardens for the betterment of its people and Ferelden? Do you swear to rule justly and with wisdom in the sight of the Maker?" asked King Alistair.

"I Kathryne Cousland, Grey Warden of Ferelden, do so hereby swear in the presence of the Maker and his bride Andraste and upon my honour for all to hear that I will govern the land fairly and justly, with wisdom and honour for the benefit of my people and in support of my King. I swear to be faithful to my King, to never cause him harm and will observe my homage to him completely against all persons in good faith and without deceit."

"Now is there any boon that the Hero of Ferelden desires of her King?" Alistair said with a smile on his face.

"No Your Majesty, you have already been most kind to both my family and my Order, I require nothing further," Kathryne bowed before Alistair and sensed the pain in him at her refusal of a gift as well as her stiff formality.

"Very well then I shall just have to think of something myself on behalf of all Ferelden," King Alistair said. "We all owe you a debt that cannot be repaid though we shall endeavour to do so."

After the coronation Kathryne changed into a beautiful deep blue silk dress that she had chosen with Leliana from an Orlesian dressmaker who had arrived in Denerim by boat the previous day. Kathryne had also purchased dress clothes and new armour for all of her companions save the King who wore one of the sets of Ferelden King's armour and had no shortage of tailors seeking his favour. While she had never been paid to be a Warden travelling the land helping people, fighting the Blight and finding lost treasures had provided a substantial amount of gold even after dividing it amongst all.

"I am not looking forward to this Leliana even though I was raised for this I never enjoyed the pomp and ceremony of court life." she moaned. "I enjoyed the dancing and looking back I guess I even enjoyed dressing up like a princess, if only my mother was still with us to hear me say that, but I never enjoyed the falseness of the people at these events," Kathryne said as they walked back to the Great Hall were the Coronation Ball was taking place.

"Well I am going to enjoy this, in Orlais I attended many balls and grand parties as each noble sought to outdo one another with fancier dress, more and greater musicians, jugglers and dancers or richer decorations and food. It was all about status or at least the appearance of it and the parties sometimes could last for days; all very excessive and opulent. I haven't been to a ball since I left Orlais and together we will surely be the most beautiful women in attendance," Leliana said hooking her arm through Kathryne's and her smile and happiness was infectious.

Kathryne looked at her friend and agreed that at least one of them would be the most beautiful in attendance. Leliana was dressed in a deep green velvet dress which contrasted nicely against the red of her hair and flattered both her pale skin and her graceful body. Just a hint of makeup was applied to accentuate the natural colours of her face and her full lips. Although you didn't see them under the dress Leliana wore a pair of elaborate and stylish shoes tied with ribbons that Kathryne had given her. Leliana had been taken with these shoes from the moment she had laid eyes upon them but had refused to let Kathryne buy them for her saying they cost too much. Kathryne had snuck away and gone back to purchase them for her friend surprising her with them as they prepared for the coronation.

At the ball Kathryne did not seem to have a moment to breathe either she was pressed for conversation or else asked to dance and once on the dance floor it was like battling darkspawn to leave it as there appeared to be a never-ending line of nobles who either wanted a relatively private moment to congratulate the new Arl or seek her affections. It was only when she danced with Fergus and Zevran, Oghren and Sten both refusing her offer, and finally Alistair that she allowed her emotions to show.

"See those men ahead," Alistair said as he spun her to face a group of about twenty-five men with the look of soldiers.

"Yes, I felt them earlier, Wardens. I've barely been able to get off the dance floor and haven't had a chance to speak with them yet," Kathryne answered.

"The one on the left with the salt and pepper hair is Warden Commander Robert of Orlais he wants to meet with us tomorrow to discuss what happened with the Archdemon."

"What do you think we should tell them? Surely they wonder why I'm not dead."

"I don't know what to tell them, when I agreed…when Morrigan…I was only thinking at that moment, no thoughts to the future," said Alistair.

"Surely since then you must have realized that questions would be asked, answers demanded."

"Yes but I still don't have an answer for them."

"I will not tell them what you did, I think that is best left between us." Alistair nodded in agreement. "I will only tell them that I expected to die slaying the Archdemon and that I do not know why I still live," Kathryne said. "You should also know that I intend to find Morrigan to question her and if I deem it necessary I will slay her and the child she carries even though it damns me. Morrigan, has betrayed us both and though it pains me to say it she is no different than her demon mother."

"I want to come with you, we should do this together."

"Alistair, you are King of a land devastated by war and are needed here to help rebuild Ferelden greater than it was before. This is my duty as this act was committed in my name and for my benefit." They continued to dance in silence both wanting to say the words in their hearts but neither knowing how to do so. As the song ended Kathryne grabbed Alistair's hand, "Now let's go meet the Wardens."

"Good Evening brother Wardens, Ser Robert," Kathryne said and gave a slight bow. "I apologize for not coming over sooner once I felt your presence but it has been difficult to leave the dance floor."

"Completely understood My Lady, if I may say so you look very lovely and I would only be surprised were people not asking you to dance. I assume that King Alistair has told you I wish to speak to you both regarding the ending of the Blight and the future of the Grey Wardens in Ferelden," Warden Commander Robert spoke in a deep voice with a thick Orlesian accent. "Also, if your feet are not too tired I too would like a dance with my fellow Warden. There are so few women Wardens that I have never had that pleasure before."

"Of course good Ser," Kathryne said with a curtsy. "Though I suspect that many Ferelden nobles would be surprised to hear that Orlesian men do not make a habit of dancing with each other," she added with a laugh that was soon matched by Robert. She danced with many of the other Wardens finally pressing Leliana and Wynne into service as the evening was getting late.


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter Six

After breakfast Kathryne had her meeting with Alistair, Warden Commander Robert and two of his senior Wardens with one serving as scribe. She began by talking of Ostagar and Loghain's betrayal there then told of how they found the allies from the recovered treaties and raised an army, the siege of Denerim and the death of Riordan while wounding the Archdemon. Robert was an intelligent and observant man often stopping her to ask questions or obtain further details from either her or Alistair and the morning sunshine soon turned into moonlight.

"Riordan had told us that the Warden who struck the fatal blow on the Archdemon would be killed so I decided to leave Alistair at the relative safety of the city gates. I admit in this I was not acting as a Grey Warden but rather the daughter of a Teryn protecting her King especially one she placed on the throne. Please understand that my country was in turmoil until the Landsmeet agreed upon Alistair as King and were he to perish my land would fall into ruin again Blight or no. I feared that without a King and no strong leader we would defeat the Blight only for the country to again fall into chaos," Kathryne told the Orlesian Wardens.

"I understand that while we are to put Grey Warden duties first it can become difficult in practice and while others might I do not fault you in this," Warden Commander Robert answered.

"Thank you, I took a small team battling throughout Denerim, killing the darkspawn generals and finally facing the Archdemon atop Fort Drakon where it had been driven by Riordan unable to fly away. We managed to mortally wound the Archdemon and I thought of my companions as dear to me as my own family as I took the last strike driving my sword into its head, cleaving its skull. I felt...how can I describe it...as though my body was on fire as if my flesh was on a spit cooking and my blood was burning worse than the Joining and the Archdemon spoke to me as it lay dying though I did not understand it. Its words were horrifying and I wanted to tear off my own ears to make it stop but I refused to let go of my sword. Then I was blinded by a light that poured from the dragon's head where my sword pierced it...perhaps it was Urthemial's soul escaping as I felt something enter my body and I was in such pain, beyond what I could bear, and I...I prayed to the Maker for the release of death." Kathryne shivered at the remembered pain as her tears fell and were she able to look in a mirror she would find that all colour had left her face as though she were some kind of spirit and her haunted look would frighten her as it surely frightened those who saw her. "There was an explosion and I remember falling into darkness as I was thrown away from the dragon and thinking that I was finally dead and all of my pain, my agony was over and that I would be reunited with my family – my father, my mother, my brother, his wife and young son. She paused to collect her thoughts, "Next, I awoke to find that a team of mages from both the Circle of Magi and the Dalish had been healing me. I do not know how I survived."

"King Alistair, do you have anything to add?"

Kathryne had never before spoken about what it was like slaying the Archdemon and while he had asked Wynne, Leliana and even Oghren about what they saw atop Fort Drakon he wasn't prepared for the truth. Alistair had never loved anyone before like he loved Kathryne and he saw now how his selfishness had wounded her and he vowed that he would spend the remainder of his days regaining her trust and love. He wanted to confess his sins to Robert, that he saved Kathryne in exchange for allowing the Old God's soul to live, even though King or not it would likely mean his death. Regardless of the reasons he had betrayed the woman he loved, the Grey Wardens and all that he held dear. Kathryne must have sensed his turmoil as he thought he saw he her give a barely perceptible shake of her head.

"No Robert, I was at the city gates and only felt the Archdemon's death but reports from her companions who fought alongside her and those who fought on the roof of Fort Drakon agree with what Warden Kathryne said. When the healers found her atop Fort Drakon she was badly injured and near death and were it not for Wynne's insistence and determination Kathryne would have died as even First Enchanter Irving assumed her too far gone. Twelve healers working in teams of four cast spells upon Kathryne continuously for nearly two days before she woke. Were she any other I doubt the healers would have put that much effort into their spells but Kathryne is a remarkable person who has touched and aided so many on our journeys. Her survival truly is a gift from the Maker," Alistair replied. "If you wish I can have anyone you like made available for questioning?"

Robert studied them each for several minutes as if deciding how to proceed and asked the two Ferelden Wardens to leave so that he might consult with his colleagues in private. Kathryne and Alistair sat in silence until called back in. "I will let the First Warden at Weisshaupt and the scholars determine how this happened as their knowledge is greater than mine. It could be possible that your experiences in the Fade or Dalish magic somehow enabled your survival or perhaps our knowledge of killing an Archdemon is incomplete I cannot say for certain and do not possess the requisite knowledge to comment. No doubt Weisshaupt will send others to further investigate since circumstances here do not permit either of you to travel to the Anderfels but I am satisfied. I for one am pleased to meet two living Wardens who defeated a Blight and brought great honour to the Grey Wardens."

"Thank you Ser Robert, how will we rebuild the Wardens here?" Kathryne asked.

"I missed the coronation but from what I've heard you my dear Lady will be a large part of it. Am I correct in understanding that the Arling of Amaranthine is to be ruled on behalf of the Grey Wardens?"

"Yes Robert, I declared Kathryne the Arlessa and hope that she will rebuild the Ferelden Wardens there. It is one the nation's more profitable Arlings as the city of Amaranthine is a major trading port and its chantry is visited by many pilgrims as it is where Andraste set sail to battle the Tevinter Imperium. It should provide all the funds required to recruit, train and outfit the Ferelden Wardens," Alistair said. "No doubt knowing the last Arl and his traitorous ways there are some plots and sycophants to deal with but I have every confidence in Kathryne."

"I am sure that I can speak for the First Warden that this is welcome news. While Wardens are respected we are often at the mercy of the rulers of the lands in which we operate forgotten about until such time as there is a darkspawn attack on the surface or a Blight upon the land. Not to sound crass but you offer the Wardens a chance to be politically involved during times of peace and hopefully allow the Wardens to be better prepared when the next Blight is upon us," Robert said. "Hopefully many years from now," he added after seeing Kathryne's face.

"I would not ask nor expect you King Alistair to put Grey Warden business ahead of your country but I would like to think that having you on the throne would prevent another disaster like at Ostagar," said Robert. "Also, with your permission King Alistair I would like to leave twenty Wardens accompanying me under Kathryne's command until such time as they can be reinforced by new recruits. Kathryne as Senior Warden I hereby name you Warden Commander of Ferelden with all the rights and responsibilities that go along with it."

"I am honoured Ser Robert," Kathryne said. "You will have to instruct me as to what is involved and there is much I would like to learn about Grey Warden lore and practices. So much was lost at Ostagar, neither of us even know how to complete the Joining ritual."

"I forget how young and new to the Wardens you both are and yet you both have accomplished so much on your own," Robert said thoughtfully his mannerisms and expression reminding Kathryne of her father. "We had cursed that the Blight began in a land where the Grey Wardens were so weak and after we heard of the events of Ostagar we had resigned ourselves that the Blight would destroy Ferelden before ravaging outwards and yet we are all Maker blessed that the both of you were able to defeat the Archdemon."

"We did not win alone Robert, I would be honoured to introduce you to those who fought beside us and our allies," Kathryne said.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter Seven

"Kadan I must speak with you," Sten the giant Qunari warrior said.

"Of course Sten, what can I do for you?" Kathryne answered.

"The Blight has been defeated, you have restored my honour and found my sword Asala and now I must return to Seheron to deliver my report to the Arishok."

Kathryne was surprised. While Sten had sworn to aid her until the Blight was defeated she had grown accustomed to his presence and a part of her had hoped that he would remain in Ferelden for the cookies if nothing else. Beyond the practical, his skill in battle, his size and strength, Sten was an honourable man and friend and she knew that she would miss him dearly. "Are you certain that this is what you want to do Sten? I consider you a friend and if something is troubling you I hope you know that you can always count on me."

"You are Kadan to me and while I would like to remain honour demands that I return to my people though I hope to see you again," he said with a hint of sadness in his voice and in his lavender eyes. "It has been an honour to fight at your side."

"No Sten the honour is mine, if you are certain that you must leave please know that you will always be welcome in my home and I shall look forward to the day we meet again. But, if you're going to insist on leaving we must go see our friends so they too can say goodbye and we can have some cake," Kathryne said knowing that while Sten would not enjoy being the centre of attention he was unlikely to resist cake.

They spent the remainder of the day and well into the evening sharing stories and celebrating their friendship and the next morning all saw Sten off on the ship that was to take him to Antiva City where he would then be able to travel to his homeland. They had practically emptied both the palace kitchen and the bakery in the market to send Sten off with baskets of sweet treats, cakes, and cookies, more than enough to last his journey and when he boarded the ship Kathryne's mabari Sarim howled his sadness that his friend was leaving.

"It feels as though it is all coming to an end," Kathryne said as she watched the ship slip further from the docks. "I know it doesn't make sense but a part of me hoped we would stay together. You all mean more to me than I ever could have expected and I want you all to know that you are all family to me."

Kathryne was in a melancholy mood throughout the day heightened by the knowledge that she was leaving for Amaranthine then Highever tomorrow with Fergus to begin rebuilding and she knew they would both face memories, both good and bad, and would need to rely on each other for strength.

That night over dinner she learned that while Wynne and Shale would be joining her on the trip to Highever they would be continuing on to the Circle Tower and eventually to Tevinter as Shale wanted to regain her humanity. Zevran took her leave as he was going off on a mission for Arl Eamon to further secure Alistair's throne and when complete he would look for her in Amaranthine. Oghren had accepted a position as General in the King's Army and would be remaining in Denerim to oversee the recruitment and training of new soldiers to replenish the ranks as so many had fallen. Leliana she was glad to hear would be coming to Highever and while Alistair had also wanted to make the journey both she and Eamon had advised against it and he had finally relented.

With the dread of facing the ghosts of her family in Highever and the sadness of her companions beginning to go their separate ways Kathryne did something that she had only done once before during the Blight on the anniversary of her parent's wedding, she got drunk – Oghren drunk.

* * *

Kathryne awoke before sunrise her head ached and an arm was around her waist and she was naked under the sheets. She turned her head and saw Alistair sound asleep beside her, _Dear Maker what have I done_ she thought. She began to slowly and carefully work herself free of his grasp and out of the bed trying not to disturb him. _How could I have been so foolish?_

She managed to change and leave Alistair's bedroom without waking him and quietly walked back to her room with her eyes on the floor hoping to avoid the looks of the guardsmen she passed. Unfortunately neither Leliana nor Sarim was as sound a sleeper as Alistair and both woke as soon as Kathryne entered the room they shared.

"Just dragging yourself to bed now, has Denerim run out of ale?" the bard asked.

"Leliana I did something stupid - I woke in Alistair's bed. I have to get out of here," Kathryne said as she grabbed her pack and began throwing her belongings into it.

"Dear Maker, you said that it was over between you two."

"My mind and my honour say it is but my heart says otherwise. You know I love him and you know why we can't be together even though Alistair is persistent. Curse me for a fool for drinking so much and curse Alistair for his silly charm that cuts through my defences."

"Sit down Kathryne," Leliana commanded and the Warden sat down on the edge of Leliana's bed. "You've faced an Archdemon and you can face Alistair this morning when we leave for Highever. You two share a powerful love and have faced so much together that it will take time for you both. Do you regret your relationship with Alistair?"

"Of course not!"

"Then you owe it to Alistair not to run away, to proudly leave this city as the Warden Commander and Hero of Ferelden otherwise you know people will talk. Furthermore, I know you don't seek it but we both know that there will be many grateful citizens who will want to see you depart and it is your duty to the Grey Wardens to be there."

"Curse you for making sense and invoking duty," Kathryne said as she hugged her friend. "Thank you, you're going to end up providing more sage advice than Wynne if you keep this up."

"Always my friend," said Leliana. "Since I am awake and can see the sun rising through the window it is time to start the day. Come lets go to the bathing rooms you'll feel better after a nice hot bath."


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Kathryne was almost finished breakfast when a royal page advised her that the King wished to speak to her in his office. She excused herself after sharing a telling look with Leliana.

"I had hoped to wake this morning looking at your face my love," Alistair said as he approached her.

"Please Alistair don't," she said quietly stopping him. "I have no regrets about last night but I have already made my intentions clear. I love you and though it breaks my heart to say this but our duties and responsibilities will forever keep us apart...I cannot provide you all that you need and deserve. You know this is true – Please if you love me then move on with your life and let me go."

She walked to Alistair no longer able to hold back her tears and saw his face grimaced in pain with his own tears. "Goodbye Alistair, I hope in time you will forget today and think of me fondly but know I will always love you and only wish you happiness." She embraced Alistair and kissed him softly before leaving him alone in his office.

She had just finished drying her eyes when she ran across Arl Eamon. "Lady Cousland may I have a moment of your time in private," he asked and gestured towards an empty room. She had been expecting this and had been finding ways to avoid speaking with the Arl without others present hoping to avoid his questions regarding her relationship with Alistair and their future together. This was a private matter and he had no right to question her, he would be dead and his family destroyed if not for her. Could he not allow her to leave this city in peace?

"I wish to speak Arl Eamon before you ask your questions. I know that you do not wish Alistair to make me his queen fearing that I may be using him as my key to the throne and as 'Hero of Ferelden' I would outshine him and truly rule," she looked in his eyes and saw the surprise knowing she had deduced his intentions.

"My Lady I think no such thing," he stammered.

"Please Eamon, do not insult us both. I was raised a Teryn's daughter and know intimately the thoughts and intrigues behind noble marriages having managed to avoid several of them. I placed Alistair on the throne knowing he loved me and were I to marry him and become his queen there are many who would doubt my intentions."

"I want you to know this, were Alistair not King and I not Warden Commander then I would like nothing else than to marry him and live the remainder of our days together, in happiness, the sun never setting on our love. Unfortunately this is not a dream and we both have duties and responsibilities however much we may desire otherwise."

"My father would often tell me that _we Couslands always do our duty_ and he would always say it with a heavy voice as though it was a great and painful burden. I truly understand his words now, I do love Alistair and wish only for his happiness and it is because of that love I have told him I cannot be the queen he needs."

Eamon looked at her as he considered her words, "My Lady…Kathryne, I fear that I have wronged you in my thoughts and I ask your forgiveness."

"Then watch over Alistair, he is in pain right now and will need a strong shoulder for support and guidance. My intentions are to remain as far away from Denerim as I can to allow him to move forward but know that if Alistair needs my aid you have only to ask."

* * *

Kathryne was both humbled and embarrassed as she walked at the head of a procession including her departing companions, brother and the Orlesian Wardens. The crowd on each side of the street was thick with people of all races and all were either cheering or had their heads bowed in respect. She was glad that she had cleaned and polished her armour and had sat for what seemed an eternity as Leliana did her hair until it was 'just right'. Looking at the crowd she realized that Leliana had been right and the people had wanted and maybe even needed to see her off, an act of finality that the Blight was truly over and that while much work remained all could look to a brighter future.

At the city gates Kathryne paused and looked back at those she was leaving behind, Eamon, Teagan, Oghren and finally Alistair, she gave them each a smile and waved goodbye.

_A quick little chapter to move onto other things. Thank you to everyone who reads this and especially to those who place this story on alert and/or leave a comment (which is always welcome)._


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter Nine

They set up camp just outside Wick a small village on the Pilgrim's Path from Denerim surviving on the faithful following Andraste's path as she travelled to Amaranthine to set forth and take her crusade to the Tevinter Imperium's doorstep. The local inn, _the Pilgrim's Roost_, did not have space for all inside so arrangements were made for food and drink and the travellers quickly fell into the routine of pitching tents and building a fire. The evening promised to be glorious one, the sky was clear and lit by the full moon and the temperature comfortable with just a hint of a breeze which now carried the smell of dinner being brought from the inn by some of the villagers and junior wardens who would be remaining in Amaranthine.

"My Lady again I offer you a comfortable room and bed in my inn, it would be an honour for my family to serve you," the innkeeper Jacob said as the food was being laid out on a table taken from the inn.

"Rest easy good ser, I promise you that the next time I pass through I shall spend the evening in your inn but tonight I will camp out here with my companions. My thanks for your hospitality, the meal smells delicious," Kathryne answered and moved into line for a plate and dinner. She had earlier asked Wynne if she wanted a room but the elder mage had refused insisting that she was not yet so old and infirm that she was unable to sleep outside.

Kathryne sat down by the campfire eating her plate of venison and sharing with her hound Sarim who having already finished his own was still looking for more from his mistress.

"It is good to see that some things never change," Fergus laughed as he scratched Sarim's ear and then sat down beside Kathryne. "Sarim still has a bottomless stomach and you still feed him under the table. This one," he pointed at Kathryne, "would feed him anything off her plate that she didn't like and I would be stuck sitting at the table until I cleaned my plate while she would stick her tongue out at me and run off. I always asked our parents for a mabari but instead I got a sister and she got the hound." Sarim made a chortling noise and those nearby laughed until noticing that the two Couslands had stopped and were holding each other's hand for comfort.

Robert had heard the story of the betrayal and murder of their family and while he could not entirely know the pain of their loss or the mix of good and bad memories which would surely rear themselves reopening closed wounds as they journeyed back to their home he could sympathize with these two siblings who both seemed to be honest, honourable folk. He had seen many good men and women die in the Joining and in battle and though he knew the necessity he still bore the responsibility as a weight upon his soul. The helplessness of watching recruits fall in the Joining was one of the hardest duties he faced as Commander and he suspected that Kathryne would find it so as well.

"My Lady, I have never seen a dog such as yours before and I know it sounds foolish but it almost seems as though he understands us," a Warden named Samuel who looked to be a few years older than Kathryne said.

Sarim barked at Samuel before she could answer him. "You've never seen a mabari before?" Kathryne said to which Samuel and a couple of other Wardens shook their heads no. "I imagine that you will have to get used to the importance that dogs hold in Ferelden hearts. There is an old saying that the surest way to get a Ferelden man to fight is to insult his hound and there is much truth to it."

"The mabari are magically bred by the Formari Enchanters are prized for their intelligence and loyalty and according to legend descend from the great hero Dane's wolves," the Ferelden Commander began. "Sarim does understand spoken words as you or I so I would advise you not insult him while in his presence lest he take offence as I have seen him knock over and tear the throat from a Hurlock Emissary before as my companions can attest." She saw many impressed looks from the Orlesian Wardens at that comment.

"A trained mabari is not some lapdog but rather as a qunari friend once told me _a true warrior and worthy of respect." _The hound barked at his mistress' words. "Sarim is a friend and companion not a pet and I would trust him with my life and give mine to save his."

"How much does one cost?" Samuel asked seemingly awed by her answer and declaration.

Kathryne let out a short laugh, "Mabaris do cost near their weight in gold but cost is not the only factor my friend. Mabari's are specially bred and raised and even in noble houses they are rare since it is not like with other breeds where one simply picks the pup you like and pays for it. There is a partnership, an agreement made between the hound and the owner he deems worthy of his loyalty and yes it is the mabari that chooses his master not the other way around. Sarim choose me as his mistress and we will be together for life," she said while scratching Sarim's belly. "He may accept commands from others who he knows I trust and accept but he will not take commands from any other. I hope that in time we will be able to have some more mabaris at Vigil's Keep as in addition to their battle prowess they are also fine judges of character."

"No doubt that is why that bastard Howe never had any," Fergus added under his breath.

"Is it true that you travelled the Deep Roads? What's it like Commander?" asked another Warden who gave his name as John.

Kathryne looked to Robert hoping that he was able to read the question in her look – _Should I truly describe that terrible place that awaits those of us 'lucky' enough to live to see the taint claim its victory? _ With the exception of Robert and a handful of the senior Wardens most looked to be in their twenties still content to think of glory and adventures yet to come alongside their comrades not their final solitary end that for all Wardens comes much too soon. She watched the Orlesian Commander close his eyes and nod his head knowing that for all of them there was no going back and to ignore their fate was pointless.

"I shall make a deal with all of you, either I or another of my companions will answer your questions but in return the questioner shall have to answer a question and that way we might get to know one another and hasten our friendship," Kathryne said to general agreement. "Leliana if you would care to answer as I know my description would pale in comparison."

She listened as Leliana began to tell of their groups adventures in the Deep Roads and as if the bard had somehow been a party to the unspoken conversation between her and Robert or else remembering what Kathryne had told her of the Calling Leliana described the Deep Roads in their all their bleak, oppressive and horrible glory leaving some of the worst out but never sugar-coating the details.

After a while Kathryne no longer listened to the bard's words but rather looked to her companions who had also travelled across those corrupted stones. Wynne stared at the mug in her hand never looking up, lost in thought; Shale standing just behind Wynne her stone face unreadable though the fact she wanted to regain her mortality gave Kathryne hope that the golem's dwarven heart still beat despite Shale's protests to the contrary; and Leliana staring into the fire as she talked in a dull, flat voice where normally she would scan the listeners gauging their reaction and her voice full of life would rise and fall with the ebbs and flows of the tale. She felt Fergus put his arm around her shoulders and allowed him to pull her close but could not look at him and so she stared at Sarim as her hand gently stroked his fur until a raucous chorus of laughter rippled around the campfire rousing her to attention. Leliana, ever the observant one, as payment for her answer must have chosen a light-hearted question intended to draw the laughter and clear the darkness of the Deep Roads from the camp.

And so the evening progressed with all finding out a little about each other along with some good natured ribbing such as when John had told them that when he first fought darkspawn he had thrown up in his helm and had to fight through the entire battle with the vomit slowly working its way down into his armour and that he ended up selling the armour as even after several careful cleanings he had gagged whenever he tried to wear it swearing that the smell remained.

Kathryne was pleased to find out that those Wardens remaining in Ferelden had a good mix of skills and talents as there would be a couple of mages to go along with those handy with a bow and blade; Robert had been considerate when he selected those who would accompany him. In addition several of the Wardens were married and now that they knew they would be staying in Ferelden for an extended time Robert would be returning with invitations for their wives to travel to Amaranthine. It seemed as though the Orlesian Wardens were like Alistair and those who had undergone the Joining with Kathryne, a mix of prospective templars, thieves and knights now all united by the taint.

"Commander, I have wanted to ask you this ever since I first saw it – where did you get that magnificent armour?" Robert asked. "I have never seen the like before and I daresay that were the First Warden to see it he would be overcome with jealousy."

"Ah, my armour is the ages old armour of a former Warden Commander of Ferelden who was possessed by a demon and was trapped in a haunted keep by her fellow Warden who used blood-magic to extend his unnatural life that is until both came across our merry band and if that tale isn't interesting enough it is also tied to the story of the Grey Wardens banishment from Ferelden." Kathryne could see that she now had everyone's undivided attention so she began to tell the story of Sophia Dryden and Avernus and their rebellion against King Arland and of their ends at her groups hands helped with comments from both Wynne and Leliana who had accompanied her to Soldier's Peak.

"We will have to stop at Soldier's Peak as we pass by towards Highever as we should eventually re-establish a base there. It is no longer haunted by demons and we left Levi Dryden and his family there who were gradually cleaning and repairing the Peak and using it to store their goods and his brother Mikhael is a fine weapon smith who crafted me this sword." She passed the scabbard containing her sword Starfang to Robert for his inspection and watched as he stood and drew the sword, its runes igniting flames along its length as it cleared the scabbard, and took a few a practice swings before handing it back while complimenting the craftsmanship and balance of the sword.

"Soldier's Peak sits on the very edge of lands belonging to the Teryn of Highever but I am on good terms with the Teryn and think that he may be persuaded to allow the Wardens its use," Kathryne said in a conspiratorial voice as she elbowed Fergus drawing laughs. "If I have sufficiently answered your question, and with your agreement, I would like to know how you came to be recruited to the Order Ser Robert."

"I was born the fourth son of the merchant house Garnier in Val Royeaux and I can tell the name is familiar to you Leliana," Robert said after seeing Leliana's eyes go wide when he said his surname. "The Garnier's are a wealthy family whose trading caravels travel throughout Thedas and all sons serve on a ship for at least two years when we reach seventeen to educate ourselves in at least the basics of our family business of both trade and sail and to establish relationships and contacts to open up new markets or obtain new goods."

"When I was nineteen our caravel _Belle_ travelled to Antiva City to trade Orlesian silks and oils for spices, leathers and other goods. We agreed to provide passage to a Grey Warden mage who was travelling to Cumberland not only as several of my ancestors had served but also my uncle, the captain, had felt that a Warden and a mage no less might be of value when we travelled the _Straits of Brendell_ between Brendell's Reach and the Free Marches as there had been pirate activity out of Brendell's Reach and we were a simple trade ship that had already been accosted on our initial journey."

"Of course we were set upon by two ships and though the Warden mage was successful in stopping one of the ships having sent a fireball at it destroying the mast and sails and ensuring that it could no longer keep pace with _Belle_ unfortunately the other ship successfully managed to come alongside and board us. Our crew were seasoned sailors and all were experienced in battle but we were outnumbered. The fighting was furious and we suffered heavy losses but eventually with the Warden's aid we were able to defeat the pirates though _Belle_ was badly damaged and taking on water. My uncle had wanted to claim the buccaneer's vessel but we could not spare the crew and so the Warden scuttled it with a few fireballs, it truly was a sight the ease with which this mage destroyed that ship. We managed to limp into Kirkwall and make repairs before continuing on. When we arrived at Cumberland the Warden offered to recruit me saying that he was impressed with my skill in battle and how I had taken command when my uncle had been wounded feeling I would be an asset to the Order. I told him that while I was interested and my family had a tradition of serving the Order I could not accept without speaking first to my father and that while I enjoyed my travels Orlais was my home and were I to accept it would have to be in Val Royeaux."

"The Warden mage Torrun wrote a letter of recommendation for me and sealed it with the Griffon seal of his ring and bade me should I decide to join to present his letter to the Warden Commander of Orlais which at the time was a man named Francois who had recently succeeded Genevieve. I returned to Val Royeaux and after speaking to my father he allowed me to join and here I am twenty-six years later with the last four years serving as Warden Commander."

"And now as the night is getting late I have a request rather than a question to ask of Leliana." Robert said. "Would you sing for us dear lady?"

"Of course Ser is there something particular you wish to hear?"

Left to her own choice Leliana began to sing _la solitude de la séparation_ an Orlesian ballad of a soldier who goes off to battle and the loving wife he leaves behind and how each night before going to sleep they would look to the northern star and pray to be reunited with their beloved.


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter Ten

It was mid-morning when they walked down the road towards Vigil's Keep finally reaching the former home of Arl Rendon Howe and now the new base for Ferelden's Grey Wardens. Kathryne slowed her pace to look at this hated place which was to be her new home. _No, this will never be my home it is simply where I will live; Highever is my home_ she thought to herself_._

"Who approaches?" called a guard from high up on the bulwark.

"It is your new Lady, the Arlessa of Amaranthine Kathryne Cousland, Hero of Ferelden and Grey Warden. Open the gates and prepare for inspection," Senior Warden Kristoff called back.

They passed through the gates and into the outer courtyard and stopped before the assembled guards and staff lined up in formation. Kathryne was surprised to see that alongside the guards stood soldiers and knights from Redcliffe along with five men wearing griffon tabards which marked them as Wardens along with Samuel who was sent ahead to announce their arrival. She turned and looked to Robert.

"Please forgive me Commander but the King had asked both Arl Eamon of Redcliffe and I to send troops to Amaranthine to ensure the stability of the Keep and also to prepare for your arrival," Robert said.

"I shall have to thank His Majesty for his generosity the next time I see him," she replied.

Ser Perth of Redcliffe, an older Warden she did not know and another gentleman who seemed vaguely familiar approached.

"It is a pleasure to meet your Graces. I am Kiel, serving as Seneschal as any other qualified fled after news of Howe's death, however my loyalty to Amaranthine is strong and so I remained to pledge my service to the new Arlessa and the Grey Wardens," the man said quickly clearly annoying both the knight and Warden who stood beside him. "It pleases my heart to know that you both survived Arl Howe's betrayal and live to continue your family's honourable traditions." He raised his hand to his heart and gave a slight bow of his head before continuing. "I only wish that I had known of Howe's mad plans that I might have warned your father, he was a great man."

Kathryne felt her skin crawl as she stood and listened to this boot licker speak of her father. Now that she heard the name she remembered her mother pointing him out as an advisor on one of Howe's visits, though she did not recall seeing him when Howe had sprung his trap. She took a closer look at the Seneschal before her. He wore fine, smartly tailored clothes; his leather boots were clean and freshly polished; his fingers were adorned with gold rings and his hair and beard were neatly trimmed with not a hair out of place. If she had to guess Kiel was around forty and was still an attractive man who obviously put great effort into his appearance but there was something off about him. His voice was slippery as though he spoke what he felt you wanted to hear rather than what he thought and his eyes didn't match his words. The man was a liar and had she not spent so much time learning from Leliana and Zevran she doubted she would have noticed the subtle clues.

"Thank you for your kind words Kiel and it is Howe's plans that I wish to discuss first," the Arlessa said and continued as Leliana had suggested speaking louder and with a harder edge for all to hear. "I was able to avenge the _murder_ of my parents, my brother's wife, his young son and so many others in Denerim when I visited _justice_ upon Rendon Howe but, I have no doubts he did not act alone. Amaranthine has long sworn fealty to Highever and the Couslands and _**all**_ who aided Howe broke their oaths of loyalty and surrendered their honour." She reached behind her and drew Howe's axe, instantly recognizable with the Howe family crest worked into the head, and threw it into the ground for all to see. "_**I will not abide traitors in this Arling regardless of their station,**_" she said in a commanding voice that drew a few gasps.

She scanned the crowd before returning to look at the Seneschal and saw that some of the colour had left his face before continuing. "I would appreciate any knowledge you may have of Howe's co-conspirators so that we may investigate and if sufficient evidence put them on trial.

"Of...of course your Ladyship I will speak to you upon this later," the Seneschal stammered.

"Ser Perth it is good to see you again and Warden I am afraid that I do not know your name," Kathryne said warmly to the two other men standing before her, both looking uncomfortable.

"It is Laurence Warden Commander."

"I trust your men were welcomed warmly when you arrived at the Keep and that all is well?" She watched Laurence's eyes dart from her to Robert clearly there was news to be spoken though not in public.

"We were Commander and I shall give you a full report later," Laurence replied formally.

As she had seen her father do countless times before she along with Fergus and Robert inspected the assembled troops and staff, stopping every so often to ask their name and duties before returning to the Seneschal. On her way back Kathryne gave a quick glance to the bard and saw Leliana give a slight nod.

"What would the Arlessa like to do first?" Kiel asked.

"Burn it," Kathryne said softly without thinking, glad her voice didn't carry beyond those in her immediate vicinity. "Forgive me, even as a child I never liked to visit this place it was always so cold and void of life and laughter even when full of people."

"Do you have any word of Howe's children?" she asked her thoughts back to business.

"My Lady?" the Seneschal answered as though uncertain he had heard the question correctly.

"Please do not misunderstand me, I once considered the Howe children friends and while I may no longer hold them in the same esteem I once did I do not believe them involved in their father's schemes. The sins of the father should not tarnish his children so unless proven otherwise I mean them no harm. Now tell me of Howe's children," the Commander said.

"My Lady, Thomas Howe is dead," Ser Perth said. "He was killed in a drunken bar fight in the City of Amaranthine shortly after the Howe's were stripped of their land and titles."

"Delilah Howe left the Keep about six months ago; I believe she resides in the City of Amaranthine though I am not certain. Last I heard Nathaniel was still in the Free Marches my Lady," Kiel said.

"Has word been sent to Nathaniel of his father's death and his family's disgrace?"

"I do not know Arlessa," Kiel answered.

Kathryne moved so that she was in plain sight of all in the courtyard.

"I wish to be clear on a few matters. My ways are not Howe's ways – No Cousland has ever led by fear and deceit. I will _earn_ your respect and loyalty. I ask that you perform your duties to the best of your abilities, diligently and competently for which you will be treated with honour and respect and paid a fair wage. I will not hold your previous allegiance to Rendon Howe against you as most enter a Lords service to provide for their family which is a noble calling. A room will be set aside and I would ask that if you know of any items bearing the Cousland or Highever standards which were looted in the attack be placed into this room so that they may be returned to the Teryn. On my honour, this will be done anonymously and without reprisal. If later I discover my family heirlooms here I will be...most displeased."

"I thank you for your service and your kind welcome. Everyone is dismissed to resume their duties." Several men and women stepped forward to help the new arrivals with their belongings and show them to their rooms.

"Seneschal Kiel, I have decided that we shall tour the dungeons first. I saw firsthand the depravity and degradation of Howe's dungeons in Denerim. I will wait here for you along with Teryn Cousland, Commander Robert and a few others who will be joining us. Will you please retrieve the details of each prisoner's crimes?"

Kathryne watched as her Seneschal excused himself and left to fetch the records she requested before walking back to her companions along with Ser Perth and Laurence.

"What did you see Leliana?"

"I don't trust that Seneschal, he obviously knows more than he is letting on and there are five others who bear close watching," the bard replied.

"Commander Robert, I trust that you can recommend a few Wardens who are up to the task of helping Leliana watch those requiring closer investigation?" asked Kathryne.

"I suspected that was your intention with the theatrics with the axe. The late Arl's I assume?" Robert said with a raised brow.

"Yes it was and my performance was at Leliana's suggestion and only my brother was told. Please forgive me for not advising any of you but we wanted honest reactions from all. A few of you know the circumstances of my recruitment into the Wardens and I am sure the others have heard the gossip."

"I have no doubt that among the people here are ones whose allegiance is not to their new Arlessa and the Grey Wardens. There are some of the Amaranthine nobles whose fortunes and advancement were so closely tied to Howe that they moved as if one person. For his lands and title to be given to the Grey Wardens, led by someone they have already betrayed, there are no doubt plots afoot to ensure our failure especially as we are so few in number."

"Neither my brother or I have a desire for vengeance as the one most guilty has paid for his crimes. However, the other schemers and plotters need to know that justice will be done and that I will do my duty as both Warden Commander and Arlessa and I will not fail at either."

Kathryne looked at her companions seeing their understanding and approval. "Wynne I am sorry to ask this as I know you must be tired but if these dungeons are anything like the ones in Howe's Denerim estate we will need a healer. Will you be able to help or shall I call for another?"

"That is not necessary I will be fine," Wynne replied.

"Should any of you not wish to accompany me I shall not think any less of you," the Arlessa said giving a quick scan of those around her yet lingering on Leliana silently praying that the bard would accept her offer yet knowing she would refuse. Kathryne remembered her friend's tale of torture in Orlais and how she had held the bard comforting her when those memories and the suffering in the Denerim dungeons had threatened to overwhelm her and hoped to spare her further pain.

Kathryne entered the dungeons beneath Vigil's Keep and almost immediately felt her stomach turn. The stench of death was almost overwhelmed by the smell of blood, filth and unwashed bodies. It was like some bizarre mixture of the Denerim torture chambers and Avernus' lab in Soldier's Peak and far worse than her initial fears.

She pointed at one of the house servants who had returned with the Seneschal carrying the ledger of prisoner crimes and punishments and looked green in the face. "What is your name?"

"It's Tordel my Lady," he replied.

"Tordel pass me the ledger please and can you go and call for additional healers, a chantry sister, healing poultices, water and bandages? Gather any help you need and once you've returned with the supplies you may leave."

"Yes my Lady, thank you," Tordel answered gratefully glad to be rid of the place.

"Forgive me my Lady, I had no idea you would find...this," Ser Perth said with disgust.

"No one would have thought to look here – a dungeon is supposed to be a terrible place but not like this," the Arlessa said putting a hand on the honourable knights shoulder. "You bear no fault; I only thought to look because I had seen his Denerim Estate."

Kathryne opened the ledger at random and began to read the crimes and punishments:

_Bruna Hildeson: crime stole grain from Arl's farm where employed; sentence 50 lashes and one month in chains enduring Pear of Anguish_

_Suran Matheius (elf): crime banditry and theft along Pilgrim's Path; sentence six months torture on the rack and removal of right hand_

_Robert Smithson: crime banditry and theft along Pilgrim's Path; sentence 100 lashes or three months in chains_

_Elias Trebleton (elf): crime thievery; sentence six months hung from chains and removal of fingernails_

_Corbet Manel (elf): crime incompetence towards the Arl; sentence 50 lashes and leg hobbled_

_Danet Runce: crime thievery against the Arl; sentence 500 lashes and death_

On and on the entries went and while Kathryne was not so idealistic or naive to believe that no punishment was merited in many of the entries she read the severity and arbitrary nature of the punishment especially to non-humans appalled her. She knew that her father had, regretfully and as a last resort, ordered the death of criminals for murder and crimes of that ilk but traditionally sentences were imprisonment and hard labour, never torture. As she looked around at the cells there did not appear to be a man, woman or even Maker forbid child who did not bear signs of torture, rape and abuse. How she wished she could draw her sword and cut these 'jailors' down.

After what seemed like days they neared the last of the prisoners. Kathryne had hoped to go faster but they were limited by the healers and now that she had started this process she was determined to see it through. There were so many injuries needing treatment that the healers were barely keeping up with demand. She had already released more than half of the prisoners outright having determined that their crimes were more that paid for. Kathryne had ordered food and blankets provided and space allotted in the outer courtyard for those who were unable to leave the Keep yet. She asked the sister to give rites to the dead bodies hanging from chains or left to rot as a gruesome reminder and to those beyond healing and granted the mercy of a quick death. A pyre was ordered prepared and for those who could be identified she vowed to write letters to any surviving family. Prisoners who were not released had their wounds treated, ordered fed and received a promise of no further torture.

Kathryne approached a rectangular cage hanging at an angle from the ceiling that was only slightly wider, taller and deeper than the frail person within. The man inside looked a wreck covered in so much blood, gore and his own waste that it was unclear how or _if_ he survived. She tentatively reached out her hand to feel for a pulse at his neck desperately wanting someone else, Fergus or Robert or Wynne to perform this task knowing that if offered she would refuse as this was her responsibility, her duty. She placed her fingertips hoping to feel the beat of this poor soul's life and mercifully it was there, faint but there.

"He still lives. Get this damned cage down and open it so the healers can work," she ordered barely keeping her anger in check.

One of the healers, thankfully not Wynne who leaned against Leliana for support her energy spent, stepped forward and the prisoner soon had the familiar blue glow of healing magic about him.

"Who is this man?" Kathryne demanded of her Seneschal.

Kiel consulted the ledger though from his face it appeared he already knew the answer and he finally asked one of the jailors. "Varel Bronsal my Lady," one of the guards said.

"What are his crimes?" Fergus demanded of the Seneschal as he grabbed the man about the collar causing his sister to place her hand on his shoulder. He released Kiel but his voice was still sharp, "If I remember correctly this man was Seneschal to Arl Howe not even three years ago."

"Your Grace, he and Arl Howe had many...disagreements and Varel ultimately fell into disfavour and was replaced," Kiel said.

"But what are his crimes?" Fergus repeated slowly.

"He was convicted of providing aid and shelter to the Arl's enemies, Your Grace," the Seneschal said quietly, fearful of the reaction his words would bring as it was obvious that the Teryn was furious.

"Sister, I know Varel he is a good, honourable man and undeserving of this," Fergus said.

"When the healer says that Varel is able to be moved he is to be brought to the Keep and a bed made available to him and no treatment for his injuries is to be spared," Kathryne ordered with a glare that Alistair had once said could halt the Archdemon itself. She continued in a louder voice, "Seneschal, every man who tortured and raped those prisoners is to be gone from this place immediately or else I swear by the Maker I will kill them myself. If I have to I will ask the prisoners to identify their abusers and review duty logs to ensure that filth is gone. Now Kiel unless there is more I wish to leave this place."

Once out of the dungeon and after dismissing Seneschal Kiel, much to his apparent relief, Kathryne stopped. She raised her face to the now setting sun hoping that its rays would burn away the vestiges of the dungeon that seemed to cling to her. She reached out and gently grasped Wynne's hand.

"Thank you Wynne, I am sorry to have burdened you so but I trust your compassion and healing skills above all others." Then continuing to the others who had accompanied them: Fergus, Robert, Leliana, Ser Perth and Laurence, "thank you all as well for facing that place with me. I do not think I would have managed otherwise. Now please you must be as weary as I feel, go and find your rooms and a meal."

Neither Robert nor Laurence moved and Kathryne waved her brother and friends off knowing that there was Grey Warden business to discuss. The Wardens walked off to have their conversation in private.

"Commanders," Laurence began after they had moved some distance away and were unlikely to be overheard, "there are reports of darkspawn in the countryside and for the last two days our patrols have defeated small groups. Due to our numbers we have only patrolled nearby along the Pilgrim's Path and North Road but now that the rest of our forces have arrived I recommend we increase the range of our patrols."

"Agreed, we can start tomorrow morning," the Ferelden Commander said. "As I am unfamiliar with the skills and capabilities of the Wardens under my command Robert I trust that either you or another can aid me to ensure each patrol is well balanced."

"Of course Commander, Laurence is more than capable," Robert replied.

"Laurence may I ask how you were treated when you arrived and your first impressions?" asked the Ferelden Warden.

"It was lucky we arrived with the knights of Redcliffe as I am uncertain what our reception would have been had we arrived alone, there is much distrust of Orlesians here. The knights are skilled and have been helping us with our patrols thus far. The Keep's soldiers from what I can see are a mixed lot some appear forthright and honest and others less so but this much you already know. Their skills are such that there is only a handful I would want at my back. The servants and staff appear cautiously optimistic and hold you Commander in high regard. However, a handful of those I spoke to appeared wary of reprisals you might make what with the actions of the late Arl. The Seneschal was asked to prepare a detailing list of soldiers and household staff as neither is at a full complement with many having left after the late Arl's death."

"I meant what I said earlier, I will earn their trust and respect and do not hold their past service against them. I will not spend my days seeking the names of every soldier following orders; the guiltiest party has already paid and if we discover evidence against others I will see them put to trial before the Landsmeet for my family and the Order. Oaths of loyalty once broken are easily broken again," the Ferelden Commander said. "What of the Seneschal?"

"He is a snake Commander; I do not trust him or the Captain of the Guard Lowan," answered Laurence venom practically dripping from his voice and to the amused chuckles of the two Warden Commanders.

"We need to get those Wardens good at surveillance to Leliana right away. I am hoping they will lead us to the bigger fish."

"Commander, she is not a Grey Warden."

"No she is not Laurence and yet I trust her with my own and any life under my care and certainly in this. I'll not betray her confidence but will say that she was once an Orlesian bard. She has stood by my side since shortly after Ostagar and was even atop Fort Drakon when I fought the Archdemon. "

"We will need new recruits perhaps we should ask her to join?" Laurence asked apparently satisfied with Leliana's skills and qualifications.

"_No_," Kathryne said with an air of finality that brooked no argument. "I would only ask Leliana to undergo the Joining under the direst of circumstances." She continued after seeing the faces of the two Orlesian Wardens and felt she needed to explain. "She is so full of love, life and happiness and I do not wish to see her tainted with darkness. Good people like her are the reason we fight and sacrifice ourselves and what of children? My understanding is that it is rare enough for a male Warden to father a child – can you tell me what success she might have or myself?"

She looked at the Orlesians and saw pity in their gazes and it incensed her. "Do not think I am soft and incapable of making hard decisions; I was raised to make hard decisions." Kathryne said her voice rising with each word. "Were you dragged away from your dying father while your mother guarded your escape knowing that it would cost her life? Have you chosen who would rule _two_ kingdoms, dwarven and human? Have you sent badly outnumbered armies to their deaths against the darkspawn horde in the hope that their distraction allowed you to reach the Archdemon?" she was now screaming at them. "How many innocents corrupted by the taint have you been forced to kill?" Kathryne said at little more than a whisper before turning and walking away.

* * *

_A/N: While this chapter introduces characters and plots from Awakenings this is not an Awakenings story. It bothered me that Varel would know the innermost secrets of the Grey Wardens (I recognize that it was needed for the game) and I hope to plant the seeds of why he is trusted and why their were plots against the Wardens who had just saved the country. I have an idea to flesh out Varel's story which hopefully I will get around to writing. In my mind Kathryne has a strong sense of duty and so it is only natural that she would stop at Vigil's Keep on the way to Highever to ensure the Orlesian Wardens are welcomed and the situation is well in hand and also because she recognizes the danger._


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter Eleven

Leliana approached the three Wardens slowly, careful not to make a sound and arouse their notice. Fergus, the Teryn she corrected herself, had asked her to keep an eye on his sister. She would have done it anyway, but the fact that the Teryn had offered to see to Wynne's needs made the decision that much easier and free of guilt. She slipped into the shadows cast by the setting sun, just within hearing range. She listened as the Wardens spoke and as the subject of conversation turned to her she resisted the urge to move closer.

"_We will need new recruits perhaps we should ask her to join?_"

She heard Kathryne's response, "_No, I would only ask Leliana to undergo the Joining under the direst of circumstances. She is so full of love, life and happiness and I do not wish to see her tainted with darkness. Good people like her are the reason we fight and sacrifice ourselves, and what of children? My understanding is that it is rare enough for a male Warden to father a child – can you tell me what success she might have or myself?_

She had often wondered why neither Kathryne nor Alistair had ever asked her or any of the others to become Grey Wardens during the Blight. So much had depended upon just the two of them and she knew that Kathryne, as their leader, had carried the heaviest burden. Certainly they had all fought hard, displaying their skill, courage and determination countless times and more than proving their worth. As a bard she knew many tales of heroic Wardens and the romantic in her had sometimes thought of how her role would be recorded in the songs and stories not yet written. Leliana had been tempted to ask so many times but in truth had feared the answer. What if they told her she wasn't worthy to join their noble order, that her past somehow deemed her unfit? Kathryne had never been anything but supportive of her, treating her as a sister and trusted friend, but the doubts had remained.

Of course since the fall of the Archdemon she had learned so much more about the Wardens and their secrets. When Kathryne had told her of drinking darkspawn blood she had been horrified that her friends had been forced to imbibe their poison. And the costs of becoming a Warden were even worse - a shortened life filled with days of fighting and nights of terror; a hard, violent life with little chance of raising a family. That such a fate should befall someone like her friend, a beautiful young woman who should be a Queen set to marry for love was a crime. Kathryne had already lost and sacrificed so much and deserved a fairytale ending – a loving husband and a family of strong sons and daughters. Now, hearing the words, Leliana knew why her dearest friend had never asked her to join the Order. Her Warden hoped she would live the life denied her and the bard loved her all the more for it.

_...Have you sent badly outnumbered armies to their deaths against the darkspawn horde, in the hope that their distraction allowed you to reach the Archdemon? _Kathryne's yell brought Leliana out of her thoughts, and knowing her friend she would soon stomp past her if she did not move. The bard quietly left and quickly returned to the Teryn and Wynne who, along with Shale and Sarim, were waiting near the freed prisoners in the outer courtyard. She had just finished telling them of the darkspawn activity nearby when Kathryne slowly approached alone.

"Why are you still out here Wynne? You need food and rest. I'll see you to a proper bed even if I have to carry you myself," Kathryne said while scowling at her companions.

"I merely wanted to make sure that you were fine young lady. I have been well looked after thank you very much."

"My apologies," the Warden said after taking a deep breath to relieve some of her stress. "I am a little on edge being in this place, and with what we have seen. I have also just been informed of our patrols encountering darkspawn, and that Vigil's Keep is without a full complement of both soldiers and household staff."

"There is already so much work to do here and we haven't even set foot inside yet. I am sorry Fergus but we will have to stay here for longer than I expected before we can leave for Highever."

"I understand my sister and if it was easy they wouldn't need someone with your skills and intelligence."

"Flatterer," Kathryne said, as she punched her brother's arm. She turned her head as someone cleared their throat and said 'my Lady' seeing the elven servant from the dungeon earlier.

"Tordel, isn't it? How can I be of service?"

"Yes it is thank you My Lady. My Lord and Ladies I am here to show you to your rooms. Seneschal Kiel informed the staff that you would be conducted on a tour in the morning and asked that you be escorted to your rooms and then the dining hall," Tordel answered. "Your bags have been identified by the Wardens and are already in your rooms. Would you please follow me?"

Tordel showed them to their rooms which though comfortable were simple and plain. There were just enough luxuries that a visitor would not be offended but not so much as to be impressed. Though the room for Fergus, and Robert as well she was told, was quite fine with a huge comfortable bed, fur and wool rugs covering the floor, a large desk and small adjoining room with chamber pots and bathing tub. His was the largest guest room which had been provided to her parents whenever they had visited.

Kathryne was shown to her room, the late Arl's which she had never seen before, and she shivered as she entered. This was her family's betrayer's room and the thought of it now being hers offended her. Logically she recognized why it was now hers – she was the Arlessa and it was expected and appropriate for her title – but this was a matter of the heart.

It was the finest suite of rooms in the Keep with its own office, bathing and sitting rooms and it was obvious that a great deal of time and effort had been made to prepare it for her arrival. Apart from the beautifully carved Orlesian styled mahogany desk, which some fool had later carved the Howe crest into, there was nothing to remind its new occupant of the former one. A fireplace with an ornately carved mantle sat across from a large bed that looked to be near overwhelmed with blankets and furs of supreme quality and many fine fur, wool and Orlesian silk carpets and rugs covered the floor. The sitting room had another fireplace, two couches and several chairs. Looking closer at one of the chairs Kathryne was struck dumb – it was her father's chair; an exceptionally crafted, plush leather wingback from his study upon which he had often sat. She walked over to the chair and reverently placed her hand upon it hoping to touch her father's presence.

"My Lady, is something the matter?" Tordel asked.

"This was my father's favourite chair, from his study. When I was a child I would often sit in his lap as he read to me until I fell asleep. I...I can still see him sitting in it now," she answered quietly, before seeing Fergus who must have entered after he had settled in.

"Forgive me my Lady, when we prepared the room for you we did not know. I shall see that it is returned to the Teryn as you requested."

"That is not necessary Tordel," Fergus said from behind the elf, startling him, before he walked over to his sister. "The Teryn thinks that it should remain with his sister."

"Excuse me your Grace, my Lady. Unless you have any further need I shall wait in the hall, and when you are ready I will escort you to the dining hall," the elf said recognizing the personal nature of this moment and not wanting to intrude.

"Thank you very much Tordel, we won't be long. Should any of our guests arrive please see them in," Kathryne said.

Once alone Fergus embraced his sister. "I knew to expect this but I never realized how much it would hurt to see our parent's things here," he wearily said. "Before you object I insist that you keep father's chair, one day you too can sit in it and read to your child." He heard his sister's sobs and held her tightly wondering when she would tell him about her relationship with the King. He had seen the way Alistair looked at her and there was no doubting how the man felt.

After insisting upon seeing Varel Bronsal, who though still in a stupor already appeared much better and was under constant care, they went down to the dining hall.

The hall was a large stone room with carved wooden panels and tapestries decorating the walls. Five long tables stood in the centre, a head table at one end and a table for food at the other. Torches were set at regular intervals along the walls while eight great metal chandeliers hung from the ceiling. Standing midway along each of the long walls was a large fireplace to warm the space. Two exits near the food table both led to the kitchen, though one was direct and the other to the hall running outside it. The dining hall was much as she remembered with painted wooden shields bearing the standards of the Amaranthine noble houses on the walls along with the Ferelden and Royal coats of arms. Kathryne saw that the Howe shield had been removed from its former position above the head table, and chuckled seeing it replaced with a silverite shield bearing a griffon. _No doubt one of the Wardens gave the shield off his back,_ she thought to herself. The Cousland standard, as the Teryn was a guest, should also have been hung above the head table but its position sat empty. Howe likely burned the wooden shield bearing the laurel wreath of her family thinking them all dead.

Seneschal Kiel approached and informed them that meals at the Keep were normally at staggered times to allow for shift changes, and that the second evening meal had been held until their arrival. Kathryne did not want to eat in the hall yet; it was still too foreign even though she had taken meals here before. She would rather be outside, seeing that her orders had been followed and that those in need were being helped. If she mentioned her desire though Fergus would agree and all others would have to follow suit. It seemed ridiculous to inconvenience so many who had already waited upon their arrival. Resigned, she took her seat and allowed Aena, a pretty blonde elf who had nearly dropped the plates she carried when asked her name and for a plate of roast for Sarim, to set a plate before her.

Kathryne poked at her meal and spoke with forced levity, recalling her mother's lessons on the proper duties of a hostess.

_As hostess it is your duty to see to the needs of your guests; to anticipate and respond to their desires before they themselves even know they had one. At meals you should steer the conversation towards pleasant topics that ensure all guests may participate and that none may draw offence._

The 'proper lady' lessons she had sat though as the cost of her martial training all flooded her mind. It was so difficult to sit here; Vigil's Keep pressed in on her as surely as if someone sat upon her chest, seeking to drive the breath from her.

She looked at the servants bringing out yet more food and then watched as several Wardens stood to refill their plates before giving out a great laugh, relieving the pressure in her chest and drawing a few curious looks from those seated nearby.

"I shall have to warn the staff before the next meal or else they'll either burn through the soles of their boots or die of exhaustion – or possibly both."

Robert followed her gaze and saw more trays being brought out by increasingly harried looking servants, and then looked down at the remains of his third plate of food. He couldn't help but laugh as well and quickly their laughter was joined by several nearby Wardens who had heard their new Commander. He saw the curious look on the Teryn's face and thought an explanation was in order.

"Your Grace, you might not know that Wardens are as fearsome at the dinner table as they are on the battlefield. You would think me a liar if I told you how much of our levies in Val Royeaux go simply to feeding the two hundred and fifty Wardens under my command. I have had Empress Celine herself question me and then set her treasury to verify my claims."

"So it is not just that Orlesians have never savoured a proper Ferelden meal before Robert?" the Teryn replied, before taking a bite of roast and patting his stomach. Fergus thought to himself that against all better judgement he liked Robert and enjoyed the good natured Orlesian-Ferelden sparring they did.

"Well met Your Grace, perhaps one day you will allow me to return the favour and visit our compound in Val Rouyeaux? Our chef, Eloise, can prepare such delicacies that you would swear she was a desire demon come to tempt you. Of course, you would be welcome as an honoured guest," Robert said, meeting the Teryn's jab and throwing one of his own.

"Fergus, Ser Robert, enough," Kathryne exasperatedly said. "If you are going to insist on these jousts please do so when I am not seated in the middle."

"Well Your Grace, a temporary truce?"

"With one condition; that you call me Fergus."

"I shall Your Grace if your sister agrees to call me Robert." They both turned towards the young woman seated between them.

"Fine...Robert," she muttered before standing. "I am going to stop by the kitchens and then head outside to check on the people there." The Commander gestured to Sarim and he was instantly at her side and together they left the hall.

"If I may say so Fergus your sister is a formidable woman."

Fergus laughed, "She always has been and there is a long list of knights and potential suitors who can also attest to it." He paused then continued thoughtfully, "I worry about her. She has always had boundless energy, but she pushes herself too hard and always carries the heaviest burden."

"She has an admirable sense of duty and honour and without question she is stronger than you and I combined, but give her some time. We are not so far removed from when the fate of Ferelden and perhaps all of Thedas rested upon her shoulders." Robert placed a hand on Fergus' shoulder and then gestured with the other at Kathryne's companions. "Take comfort that she is surrounded by people who love her, who will support her until she regains her bearings."


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter Twelve

Robert leaned against the fence lining the left side of the practice area, and as had become his routine he watched the two Cousland siblings spar against each other. Fergus was rapidly regaining his health and stamina, and had even put on a few pounds in the near month since their arrival at the Keep. The Chasind had healed him and he had fought in the Bannorn, but he had arrived in Denerim in far from top condition. Whether his improvement was from a warm bed, good food, his impending return to his terynir or from competition with his younger sister Robert was not certain. One thing was certain though, Fergus was going crazy being confined to the Keep and he pushed himself accordingly.

The Teryn wore heavy veridium armour and wielded a sword and shield as did his sister, though she wore a set of lighter, drakeskin armour. The differences in form and technique between the two were startling. Fergus used the proper duelling forms and relied on his superior strength and size to pressure and overpower his opponent and was battling all out. His sister, though a tall woman, was nowhere near his equal in size and physical strength and instead used her natural advantages: her speed, litheness and her mind. It was clear to an experienced eye that she not giving her maximum effort in deference to her brother's condition but each day she was giving more.

Kathryne moved like a cat, reacting quickly and confidently when pressed and somehow always finding herself in a position to use leverage and her opponent's own momentum against him. She had an unpredictable style that did not rely on the standard forms and incorporated elements he had seen in both dual-wielders and those using massive two-handers. He had even seen her throw punches and kicks earlier that day which had surprised Fergus. He had laughed when Fergus had called for a foul and Kathryne simply replied that neither darkspawn nor bandits obeyed duelling rules. She had learned the simple truth that too many poor bastards never did – in a fight to the death there are only a few rules: protect yourself, protect your brothers, and live, all by any means necessary.

The Ferelden Commander, while giving freely of her knowledge and practicing daily against the straw practice dummies, had so far refrained from sparring with anyone other than her brother. At first a few of the senior Wardens had approached Robert not understanding why and not yet comfortable enough with the new Commander to ask her themselves. He had explained that in part it was due to her need to measure her brother's progress and in part by the Wardens, knights, soldiers and servants who often gathered round and watched her as if she was on display. Laurence had looked somewhat guilty when he agreed that she did tend to draw a crowd. Francois, the resident joker, had added that perhaps it was best for the Teryn to take a beating from his sister rather than someone else that he might punish. It was always tricky fighting against nobles, especially in Orlais, for far too often they believed their birthright alone made them superior fighters and strategists and they tended to react poorly when it was proven otherwise. After the laughter had stopped, Francois had said to general agreement that he doubted that was the case with either Cousland, and that he was impressed by and liked them both.

Robert looked around at the Keep and the changes underway and could only wonder what this fortress would be like in a year's time under the Commander's guidance. After their initial tour, and in the privacy of her sitting room, Kathryne had called parts of the Keep a 'dump,' telling of her plans to send a letter to Orzammar asking for the aid of any dwarves who might help in its repair.

Some of the Keep's soldiers had left in the dark that first evening, while others and even some servants had been given a week's pay and told to seek other employment, the Commander, or those she trusted, having found some defect in their skills or more often in their character. None of those that left were any great loss and were easily replaced by the flocks of men and women, both human and elven, who came to the Keep eager to serve the Grey Wardens and their new Arlessa, all for the promise of fair treatment and a decent wage. A few even arrived hoping to join the Order. With the help of the Senior Wardens a training routine was setup to assess any potential candidates and also improve the skills of the Keep's soldiers and its handful of knights. All arrivals were treated with dignity and respect; some were offered permanent positions with the Keep's guard or the household staff, some offered temporary work repairing the Keep and surrounding structures, while others were fed and politely sent on their way.

The greens keeper and farmers who tended the Keep's grounds and surrounding fields were often aided by shackled prisoners under heavy guard, and the grounds and crops were now thriving. He would likely never forget that first day when the prisoners had been brought out of the dungeon. Kathryne had stood before them un-armoured and armed only with a dagger, and said that each prisoner could either sit in the dungeon and starve to death or work for their meals and their freedom. A burly lout suggested what he was prepared to do _to_ the Arlessa to earn his food, causing the nearby guards and Wardens to nearly run him through. The Commander had raised her hand to stay any retribution, smiled at the brute and asked for his shackles to be removed, then threw her dagger at his feet and told him he was welcome to try. Both he and Fergus had begun to move to protect her before Leliana had said _watch this._ Kathryne had ended up leaving him battered and bloody on the ground, breaking his jaw, his right forearm and he was unlikely to ever have children or walk properly again after a vicious kick she had delivered to his groin. Word of that kick had quickly spread, and for a few days the women of the Keep walked prouder and the men a little more gingerly, especially around their Arlessa.

Kathryne was quick to learn the Grey's ciphers and to pick up the reports and record keeping that she would have to do as Warden Commander, no doubt due to her station and training as a noble lady. Regular reports of Warden and darkspawn activity would have to be filed with Weisshaupt and generally the reigning monarch, though that was a courtesy and not explicitly required. Records would have to be kept of Warden recruits, Joinings and deaths. They had already started some of her training in Denerim when together they had performed a thorough inventory of their vault, retrieved Urthemiel's blood - collected by Alistair in secrecy while Kathryne had lain unconscious after the final battle, and made the log entries recording Riordan's death and the transfer of the Orlesian Wardens remaining in Ferelden. Much of his lessons, such as how to lead men in battle, the new Commander had already learned and so he spoke of what he looked for in a potential recruit: skill in battle was important, the strength and willpower to survive the Joining equally so, and all the intangibles not easily assessed until a potential recruit stands before you – their character, ability to work with others and follow orders and so on. Robert also told stories that illustrated the successes and failures he had seen, trusting Kathryne to apply the lessons learned and where his teachings failed that she would listen to the senior Wardens under her command. She had the makings of an excellent Commander and the senior Wardens he consulted all agreed.

The administration of the Arling was progressing with the only negative being that damned Seneschal Kiel. He did little more than watch as both Couslands poured over the financial and administrative records of the Arling. They had both been raised to lead a terynir, and already possessed the requisite knowledge of how to administer their lands and finances, manage the nobles and administer justice, but it was Fergus, who, when reviewing the ledgers that first week, had caught the Seneschal's deception – in addition to their suspicions regarding his loyalty he was stealing from the treasury.

"_Father always said that his best decision was making mother responsible for the treasury," Kathryne had said upon the discovery. "A woman who loves you is unlikely to pauperize you or her children." _Robert had laughed and explained that while his father had used different words he had said the same thing to his children.

Of the suspicious soldiers identified that first day all trails led to the Seneschal and Lowan, the Captain of the Guard. One soldier left that first night, two others were dismissed and one, a knight and son of Lady Packton, was still under surveillance. The scrutiny of both Lowan and Kiel had also been increased and the new faces in the Keep made that task far easier. Warden Samuel had also tracked a courier bearing a message from Kiel to the City of Amaranthine but had lost track of the message after it had passed to the third cut-out on the unfamiliar city streets.

When he returned Samuel had provided as much information as possible about everyone whose hands had touched that message, even providing some of their names and the location of their homes. The Commander had thanked him for his service while acknowledging that few could have done better, alone and in an unfamiliar city. Robert had watched as her words took some of the sting off Samuel's wounded pride and filled him with a renewed desire to prove himself. Leliana, after sharing a simple look with the Commander, offered to show Samuel some tricks she had learned if he was interested. And so began the private tutoring of a few suitable Wardens by the bard. He had watched a few of the lessons and the pretty bard's skills were quite impressive, even without her bow and daggers. He had joked at the time that his coin purse would never feel safe again.

Varel Bronsal had recovered from his injuries two weeks ago. After seeing his genuine relief that not only had he been saved but that it was by two Couslands who had survived Howe's betrayal, there was no doubt where his loyalties lay. The two Couslands, Wynne, Leliana along with Robert and senior Wardens Laurence and Kristoff had sat in the privacy of Kathryne's sitting room and listened to the former Seneschal.

Varel spoke of the rising ambitions of Howe and his increasing depravity. That his son, Nathaniel, was sent to the Free Marches for questioning his father and resisting Rendon's efforts to 'make him a man.' The beatings inflicted upon his daughter Delilah for providing comfort and shelter to the female servants who suffered at both her father's and the guard's hands. Varel left unsaid the indignities he had suffered: the demotions for disobeying orders, the cruel and petty punishments for showing compassion, and finally the year and a half of torture.

He told of Rendon's mad rants that the Howe's deserved more and of the insults his family had suffered at Cousland hands: Sarim Cousland claiming the lands and title of Bann Conobar Elstan, a cousin of the Howe's murdered by his wife Flemeth long ago; Sarim's subsequent war of independence where he 'stole' half of the Howe's ancestral lands; and during the war with Orlais when the Couslands captured Harper's Ford and hung his father, Terleton Howe, as a collaborator and traitor to Ferelden.

Varel had finally broken into tears and collapsed to his knees before Kathryne when he spoke of being captured on the road to Highever, intending to personally deliver his warning and suspicions of Howe's plans to Bryce and Eleanor. He clutched at her hands and begged for forgiveness for his failure. Kathryne had knelt down in front of him and embraced him, kissing his forehead and telling Varel that there was nothing to forgive, that he had done and endured more for her family than she had any right to deserve or expect, and all that was left was for Varel to forgive himself.

Robert remembered watching Varel and seeing how Kathryne's words affected him, how when he again stood before her his back was a little straighter and his face and eyes shined with the beginnings of new life. He watched as Varel looked to Fergus, who simply said that his sister spoke for him as well, and then as Varel took a knee and swore an oath of fealty to his new Arlessa. At the time the Orlesian Commander remembered thinking two things: that he was turning into a sentimental old fool; and how it was that this magnificent Warden before him could be so young and yet have such a deft touch with people.

Varel was taken into their confidence and was told of their suspicions regarding Kiel and Lowan and of their current failure to determine who they really reported to. Varel had agreed that there was a larger plot and that neither was to be trusted. He provided other names of men who he knew to be untrustworthy and some he merely suspected – thankfully all had already been identified and were either being watched or were gone. He asked if they knew of the secret tunnels that led to many of their rooms and throughout the Keep, and proceeded to show them one in Kathryne's lavatory that, despite a thorough search, had gone unnoticed. Varel then drew maps to the others which they had not already discovered.

Kathryne had asked him to serve as Chamberlain until such time as they could flush out Kiel and then the position of Seneschal would be his, if he wanted it. Varel had refused, saying that he wanted to speak to some people in order to ensure the safety and security of his Arlessa and that his efforts would be easier if he carried no obvious ties to her and travelled alone. Recognizing that Varel needed to do this Kathryne had told him to speak to Laurence to obtain anything he would need and, after briefly leaving the room, she handed over a full money pouch to cover anything the Keep couldn't provide.

It had been nearly two weeks and they had yet to hear from Varel and Robert was growing increasingly frustrated waiting for the guillotine's blade to fall.

Robert's thoughts were interrupted as he was joined against the fence by the two Couslands who had finished their sparring. Together they watched the others in the practice yard until Kathryne pointed at an approaching cart passing through the outer gates.

"I believe that is Master Ghent and his apprentice with your new clothes Fergus."

Robert knew what was to come and Kathryne gave him a silly grin that nearly caused him to laugh. Her enthusiasm was infectious.

"Wonderful," Fergus said sarcastically.

"Come now," she grabbed Fergus' hand and pulled him from the fence. "You are Teryn Fergus Cousland of Highever and I'll not permit you to leave with me tomorrow for Soldier's Peak and the City of Amaranthine looking like some street urchin."

Fergus' eyes lit up as between his sister's worrying and Wynne's admonitions he had only been allowed to spar, and had yet to leave the safety of the Keep. _That old mage can wield guilt almost as handily as my mother, and with an equal concern for my well being_ he thought to himself. His sister was truly blessed to have such fine friends.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter Thirteen

Kathryne had stopped to visit Shale in her room before leaving the Keep to ask whether she still wanted to accompany them on their little trip. It was never easy to judge how the prickly golem would react especially now she was eager to regain her mortality. The Commander had insisted that a room on the ground floor be provided even though Shale did not eat or sleep, figuring that she might like some privacy if nothing else. Kathryne had been gratified that Shale appeared to appreciate her intentions, and that some helpful soul had removed the room's door, no doubt recognizing that golems and wooden doors were a poor match.

Shale had originally declined her invitation, remembering the ravens that had plagued her on their initial visit, but had relented upon learning that John was one of the Wardens accompanying them. Shale had a fondness for the Warden based on their mutual dislike of birds. In John's case his hatred was from a bad childhood experience and not because he had spent years being shat upon. John had been a boy of six when he had been attacked by a pair of swans after unknowingly coming too close to their nest; he now said the only good bird was cooked and on the end of his fork.

Together the strange travelling party set out from Vigil's Keep for a planned seven day trip to Soldier's Peak and the City of Amaranthine. Kathryne had intended this trip to serve several purposes: there was equipment she wanted from Soldier's Peak; to 'show the flag' so the people could see their new Arlessa among them and for their Arlessa to get a feel of the people under her protection and their problems; to patrol for darkspawn, since some still roamed the land, slow to return to the underground; and she hoped her unexpected, and heavily armed, appearance at the homes of a few of the important nobles might stir something up with Kiel.

She travelled with Fergus, Leliana, Wynne, Shale and Sarim of course. Several Wardens were also among their number: Robert, senior Warden Kristoff and Wardens Samuel, John and Gerrard.

John was a gangly man who carried a longbow nearly as tall as himself and who, despite appearances, was deceptively strong. He was without peer with his bow and could teach the Dalish a thing or two about archery. He was a very shy man who even with his great size could seem small and fade into the background. Samuel was a few years her senior and despite his efforts to appear worldly he had a wide-eyed wonder at the sights and customs of Ferelden, so different from his homeland. Leliana had called him her best student and he moved with confidence, in his own abilities and in those he travelled with. Kathryne thought that Samuel had a crush on the bard despite her protests to the contrary. Gerrard was a short, stocky man with a neatly trimmed beard. The first time Kathryne had seen him she had thought him an abnormally tall dwarf. He was a gregarious man who obviously enjoyed the brotherhood provided by the Wardens. The man also had a silver tongue and knew more poetry than Leliana and recited it often to the single ladies of the Keep. She had joked with Leliana that once Zevran arrived and saw his competition for the ladies affections that they would either end up killing each other or in bed together. Kristoff was an enigma to her, she knew he was married and his wife would eventually move here but all her attempts to get to know him were politely rebuffed. Perhaps in Orlais there was a more formal structure to the Order with less interaction with superiors and subordinates - this was not how Duncan had acted and not how she intended either.

Their travelling party set a blistering pace to make up for the frequent stops at various households and small villages along their route. It almost seemed that word of their journey had spread before them as many turned out to greet their new Arlessa, the Hero of Ferelden.

Even though it embarrassed her terribly Kathryne shook the hands and accepted the cheers and well wishes of the people she met, now _her_ people. She listened and took notes of their needs and concerns and where dire either directed them to Vigil's Keep or vowed to send aid upon her return. The Arlessa had had the foresight to bring extra supplies: food, bandages, and poultices, and they were dispensed liberally to those in need.

It was the fifth day of their journey and they would reach Soldier's Peak a few hours before dusk, a trek that should normally take half that time. Apart from their frequent stops and a bandit attack the journey had gone well so far.

Leliana was describing Soldier's Peak and the Drydens when Kathryne felt her blood burn and the foulness in her stomach that accompanied darkspawn. She reached for Starfang at her hip and was glad to see that the other Wardens were all doing the same, quickly followed by the non-Wardens.

"Darkspawn!"

They readied their weapons and moved into position with the archers, Leliana and John, and Wynne in the centre atop their cart, after cutting the ox pulling it free. With a gesture Kathryne ordered Sarim to protect her brother.

Darkspawn vomited out from each side of the road in an apparent co-ordinated attack. Before the mass of hurlock and genlocks could reach them the familiar cries of shrieks were heard and genlock rogues erupted from the earth at the sides of the stone road.

Kathryne stabbed the first rogue before her in the throat, nearly severing its head, and pushed it off her blade with her shield. Out of the corner of her eye she could see that Sarim had knocked another down and Fergus was thrusting forwards to finish it off. She could hear the snap of bowstrings as the archers were ignoring the close darkspawn and instead sending volleys at the onrushing enemies, attempting to thin their numbers. The Commander side stepped the claws of a shriek that had appeared before her, and heard the clang as they met Fergus' shield as she ran her sword through the beast. She kicked the dead shriek into an approaching Hurlock, staggering it, and watched as a silver bolt of arcane energy struck the Hurlock square in the face, killing it instantly.

She had killed four more darkspawn before she heard the cry no warrior wants to hear.

"Fireball," Warden John screamed.

Trusting in her armour and, more importantly, that Wynne would be able to dispel the darkspawn magic Kathryne pressed the attack on the hurlock alpha before her. She accepted an overhead slash on her shield from its massive blade that nearly buckled her knees. She thrust Starfang downwards, biting deep into the alpha's kneecap and drawing a savage cry of pain. She leaned into her shield and pushed forwards, knocking it down, and then stepped forward to kill it.

"Where are the emissaries?" Kathryne called out, not seeing any before her.

"There are two near the tree line behind you; they're protected by ogres," Leliana answered back.

"I'm coming." Seeing that the fighting on this side was well in hand and that the true danger lay with the emissaries and ogres she turned to withdraw. She took a quick look and saw Fergus fighting a genlock and could hear Sarim's growls so she knew they both still stood. Her position was instantly taken by Samuel, holding his bloody short-sword and dagger.

Kathryne looked at the battle before her, from what she could see no one had fallen. Both Robert and Kristoff were engaged with two darkspawn each. Warden Gerrard was swinging his broadsword and cutting huge swaths through the attackers and nothing had reached the archers and Wynne, who were now carefully picking their shots to support their comrades and cause maximum damage. Shale moved around the battlefield acting almost like a battering ram, smashing and throwing enemies about and leaving a trail of dead or stunned darkspawn as easy targets for arrow and spell.

"Shale with me," the Commander called. With a speed that belied her massive stone bulk the golem was beside her and together they moved to confront the ogres.

Kathryne gathered her will and quickly began to feel the pressure in her head and the tingling along her skin, once in range she struck, smiting the darkspawn spellcasters and the two protective ogres with righteous fire. Fire drawn from the things that give her strength: her belief in the Maker; her sense of honour and duty; and strongest of all, her love for her friends and family.

Together the golem and Warden were able to kill one of the ogres in the confusion from her spiritual attack. Kathryne darting about hamstringing the ogre with Shale landing a killing blow with her stone fist.

She began to sense magic being gathered nearby and again called up her will. "I'm on the 'casters."

Robert finished off the last hurlock before him and quickly glanced around to assess the damage. All of their party looked weary and a few bore injuries but all still stood. Wynne and John were moving about tending to the injured and Leliana had just flown past him towards where he could hear the golem and the Commander still fought.

"Anyone still able, follow me."

He was heartened to see that despite a broken off arrow in his shoulder and a noticeable limp Fergus and the hound were bounding ahead of him followed closely by Samuel.

He quickened his pace and as he reached the battle he was nearly stopped dead in his tracks by the sight before him.

Shale and the remaining ogre were wrestling each other, each seeking to gain the advantage and drive the other into the ground. Leliana was running towards the ogre's rear with her daggers out obviously intending to either backstab or hamstring it.

And to the right stood Kathryne engaged with two emissaries, doing little damage but using her sword and her shield to keep the spellcasters off-balance and unable to conjure. Her armour was covered in blood and gore, some her own but most the black of darkspawn. A pure heavenly fire burned around her and she glowed brightly with righteous light and fury. She looked at once both beautiful and terrifying. He had no doubt that if the ancient barbarians who once roamed these lands saw her they would fall to their knees and worship her as a goddess of beauty and death. Were he a man half his age he too might have been tempted to forswear his belief in the Maker and worship only her, moving heaven and earth to gain her favour.

He watched as the mabari charged towards his mistress and finally leapt upon an emissary, knocking it to the ground before he proceeded to tear it apart with his powerful jaws. And Kathryne, as soon as her hound had knocked down the second emissary, quickly spun on her heel and slashed the final one across the chest, cutting the emissary's staff in two and killing it.

Kathryne had just enough time to lower her sword before being knocked to the ground by her hound.

"I'm okay boy, I'm okay," she said, while trying to prevent Sarim from licking her face and the foul blood on it. She scanned her comrades, quickly taking note of the arrow in Fergus' shoulder and the blood on everyone else. "Is everyone okay?" she asked, grasping Leliana's outstretched hand and rising to her feet.

"A few injuries but I suspect nothing Wynne and some rest won't heal," Leliana answered.

They returned to the road to find everything well in hand. Kristoff had been stabbed in the gut and though healed of the worst should rest and travel in the cart. John had just finished splinting Gerrard's broken arm, which had already been healed and now rested in a sling. Fergus had a sprained ankle and the arrow wound and Robert, Samuel and Kathryne had the small cuts and bruises that always seemed to result from any battle. The only fatality had been the ox that pulled their cart, Koto to the Keep's farmhands and Betty Blue to Leliana, this despite the fact that the ox already carried a name, was male and certainly wasn't blue.

Kathryne reached into her pack and retrieved a mabari crunch, its recipe improved by Wynne and Zevran with additional healing herbs and poison remedies. She had no idea if the new recipe successfully counteracted the effects of darkspawn blood, but after every battle she made sure Sarim ate one and sensed no corruption within him.

It was decided that Leliana and Samuel would travel ahead to Soldier's Peak to see if Levi Dryden could spare an ox to pull their cart and return in morning. Not for the first time this trip Kathryne cursed the lack of horses at the Keep, with the few there fit only to work the fields or held back in case of emergency. The rest would setup camp a little down road and rest after burning the corpses.

Later that evening as they sat around the campfire Fergus finally asked the question he had wanted to ask since the battle. "So Kat, where did you learn to set yourself on fire?"

She looked sheepishly at her brother before answering. "I picked up a few templar tricks during my travels. There were times when it's come in handy, those darkspawn 'casters are a bitch to kill."

"Wasn't our King trained as a templar before becoming a Grey Warden?" Fergus asked his voice pitched for her ears alone.

"Yes...well...uh...the Chantry guards its secrets zealously and I would ask that you never speak on this. I'm going to get some sleep before it is my watch."

Fergus watched his sister enter her tent and knew by her blushing face and her flustered reaction to his question about the King that he had his confirmation – she did love Alistair. He hoped that Alistair would make her happy and he knew she would make a fine queen. _If she hasn't spoken to me about Alistair once we reach Highever I'll confront her myself, _he thought to himself.


	14. Chapter 14

_I got sidetracked with a few other things and unfortunately this story fell by the wayside. Thanks for bearing with me and reading on. I've been working like a madman to finish this story without further delays._

Chapter Fourteen

They arrived at Soldier's Peak just before midday to a hearty meal prepared by Tarra and Becca, the wives of Levi and Mikhael respectively. In the three months since Kathryne had last visited she saw fresh mortar and many other repairs and there were even more Drydens running about.

She, Alistair and their companions had decided to help to Levi regain his family honour for a number of reasons: to honour Duncan by fulfilling his pledge of assistance; to gain some supplies and treasure, since at the time they could barely afford to repair their armour and weapons let alone feed themselves; to establish a safe shelter now and possible future Warden base for after the Blight; and most importantly, to learn additional Warden knowledge as their own was sorely lacking. Kathryne genuinely liked Levi and his family, and Mikhael would always hold a special place in her heart for the sword she carried. She was also thankful for their efforts to repair the Peak, but at no point had they risked their lives and spilled their blood to provide the Drydens with their very own castle as it now appeared. Soldier's Peak was a Grey Warden fortress and while the Drydens were welcome to stay it had to be under those terms. The Drydens must understand that there would come a time when its walls would be full of Wardens.

Fortunately they were welcomed as returning heroes, with words of gratitude towards the Order and pledges that the Peak was ready to receive any visitors to their fortress. Any chance at misunderstandings over propriety was further erased when the Drydens were told of their plans to rebuild the Order and when her companions were introduced, _her brother _Teryn Fergus Cousland of Highever, Warden Commander Robert Garnier of Orlais and so on. It was Robert who further remarked that Kathryne was now the Warden Commander of Ferelden and Arlessa of Amaranthine and that one of the men she had travelled with was now King.

An agreement was quickly reached whereby the Drydens were free to live in and use the Peak and granted preferential trade opportunities at Vigil's Keep in exchange for performing repairs to Soldier's Peak and providing food and shelter to passing Wardens, both at the Dryden's expense. All with the clear understanding that Soldier's Peak belonged to the Grey Wardens and that one day the Order would take full possession of its fortress.

They toured the fortress with Levi and Leliana telling stories of their first visit and, after asking for privacy, Kathryne took only the Wardens to Avernus' lab. Once alone, the Wardens discussed in greater detail the fates of Sophia Dryden and Avernus and his experiments on the taint.

After the tour Kathryne had carried her pack over to the large storeroom containing so much of the weapons, armour and treasure she and her friends had collected during their travels. She knelt down and began pulling out the pieces of the 'superior dragonscale armour' she had commissioned Wade to make for Alistair. Armour made from the scales of the High Dragon they had defeated in their quest for the Urn of Sacred Ashes. Alistair had never worn the armour, preferring instead the Juggernaut armour they had found in the Brecilian Forest. Now, as King, he had his own armourer and multiple sets of golden armour to choose from. Fergus and Alistair were of a similar height and build, at worst Mikhael should need to make only some minor modifications. It only made sense that this fine armour should be used instead of sitting locked away.

The Commander held the breastplate in her hands and felt a tender hand on her shoulder; she looked up to see Leliana. Her eyes asked her friend for guidance and her approval, even though she had already asked the bard her opinion. Leliana smiled and nodded to her. Together they carried the pieces of armour to Mikhael's forge.

"Fergus come here please, and try this on."

"It better not be more clothes or I'll..." Fergus was speechless as he looked at the armour held out for him.

Fergus was strapped into the armour and apart from a few minor modifications to account for Fergus' shorter legs, nothing further needed to be done. It was almost like it was made for Fergus and Alistair left it here knowing that.

The next morning after Mikhael had completed his work, Fergus again put on his new armour.

"You look handsome my brother, a proper Teryn. What do you think Leliana?"

"Oh I agree, he looks quite dashing but I fear something's missing." The bard walked around Fergus inspecting him like a prized bull and drawing a few laughs from the crowd that had gathered and a harsh glare from Mikhael.

"Give me a moment, I know what's missing," Kathryne said and quickly ran back to the equipment storeroom.

She withdrew the Shield of Highever bearing the laurel wreath symbolizing her family. Kathryne had carried this shield into the final battle against the Archdemon when she had expected to die. She had figured that she had begun her journey carrying this shield, when she had fled with Duncan leaving her mother and father to die, and that it was only fitting that she should carry it when she gave her life to end the Blight and would see her family again.

The Commander reached into a chest and took out a linen wrapped bundle containing the Cousland Family Sword. Kathryne had left the sword here and had never used again once she had Starfang, the starmetal longsword custom-made for her hand alone. In her heart-of-hearts she had held only faint hope that Fergus still lived but had left it here just in case. Also, the thought of her family sword, which had been wielded by generations of Couslands since the days of King Calenhad, being looted from her dead body by some bandit or worse darkspawn had also been a strong factor in her decision.

Kathryne carried the shield and the linen bundle back to Fergus, who smiled as he accepted the shield and strapped it to his back. She watched his face as her brother unwrapped the linen bundle and saw the sword inside, instantly recognizing it and its meaning and importance. Her heart stopped beating and she held her breath as her brother slipped the baldric over his head, the leather lying across his shoulder and the scabbard at his hip.

"Now your Grace, you look magnifique," said Leliana.

Fergus scooped his sister up and hugged her tightly, and in front of everyone he cried into his sister's shoulder. He cried for his lost parents and most especially for his lost wife and son. This was the first time he had ever fully grieved for his losses without regard to appearances. Also, by wearing the sword he truly accepted and knew in his soul that he was now the Teryn. His sister merely held him and tried to lend him her support and strength.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter Fifteen

It was good to return to Vigil's Keep Kathryne thought, surprising herself with the admission. They had been gone for nearly two weeks on what was supposed to have been a quick tour of Soldier's Peak and the City of Amaranthine. She had wanted to see the land and greet the people now under her protection and also get a sense of how the Arling outside the Keep fared.

Overall the trip had been reasonably successful. They had met some of the important nobles and landowners and many more of the common people who generally seemed optimistic that better times were ahead under their new Arlessa. Compared to some of the lands she had travelled fighting darkspawn the Arling did not appear that badly off. Most of the farmland was still productive and trade flowed freely though there were reports of both bandit and darkspawn attacks. She had resolved to increase patrols and advised those able to do so as well, now aided by firsthand accounts that provided locations.

The City of Amaranthine was at once the greatest opportunity and greatest challenge she and the Wardens would likely face. It was one of the largest cities in Ferelden, next to Denerim, and one of the wealthiest. The large port brought goods and wealth into the Arling but also brought an unsavoury element to the city which appeared to be flourishing. The port area was scummier than even Denerim's and the value of life there was next to nothing and crime was rampant. Clearly many were getting fat on graft and bribes as many of the city officials and high constables they met were exceptionally well dressed and carried expensive weapons.

There were also an alarming number of people in the city with many struggling to earn a decent wage and living in poverty. Some were people who had come to the city for safety during the Blight while others had lived in the city all of their lives. From a quick inspection and dialogue with constables the city seemed to be bursting at it seems from the number of people currently residing there. Unfortunately there were no easy solutions to this and with being so new to the Arling Kathryne was unsure of what, if any, steps had already been undertaken.

Kathryne had raised the issues of poverty and smuggling with Bann Esmerelle and was able to refrain from striking the woman when she heard the Bann's answer. Esmerelle, a known supporter of the late Arl, had been dismissive of how serious and pervasive the problems truly were and chided the young Arlessa for her lack of knowledge of how a city was run. Kathryne responded by saying that while she did not fully understand the nuances of running a city she had been raised to run an entire terynir and was Esmerelle's Arlessa, the Commander of the Gray and general of Ferelden's armies. She had told Esmerelle that this visit was merely social but on her next visit they would discuss the issues in detail as poverty and smuggling cost not only the city and Bann but also the Arling and would not be tolerated.

Bann Esmerelle was a difficult woman to like even before her veiled insults. She lived in luxury greater even than Kathryne had seen in the royal palace and carried an air of entitlement around her while treating her 'lessers' with either cruelty or indifference. Esmerelle was a rather plain woman and her airs made her scowl frequently to the point where Leliana called her 'rat-face.' Their party had all been glad when they had left Esmerelle's estate.

The highlight of the trip had been seeing Leliana's face when they entered the Chantry of Our Lady Redeemer. A pious woman, Leliana had never before visited this Chantry which was the grandest one in all of Ferelden. Kathryne had been happy to take her friend there and the Reverend Mother had graciously offered a tour which had pleased Leliana even more. The tour also allowed Kathryne to excuse herself to a secondary, but no less important, reason for visiting the Chantry.

Kathryne met with Ser William, the Commander of the region's Templars, and after some persuading convinced the Templar to do her a favour. Kathryne asked about any reports of apostates matching Morrigan's description. There were none but Ser William agreed to send notices to the other Chantries and that if anyone matching the description was found to send word to the Templars in Highever as she would be there soon. Kathryne had merely said that this apostate was extremely dangerous and had stolen items of value from her and the Grey Wardens that she wanted back. Trading upon her good name and relationship with Knight Commander Greagoir of the Circle Tower William agreed to keep her confidence. While not exactly eager to confront Morrigan, Kathryne had not forgotten the witch or the child growing inside her.

Now as she entered Vigil's Keep her feet ached and she was looking forward to a bath and sleeping in a proper bed again. It was amazing how quickly one's body forgot days spent walking and nights sleeping in a bedroll atop the ground.

...

He approached the familiar merchant, arrived today at Vigil's Keep, and bought a pouch of tobacco; giving no evidence by his words or actions that this was more than a simple transaction. He lingered in the courtyard for a bit, inspecting the wares of the other merchants and speaking to several of the Keep's guards before returning to his room. In the privacy of his locked room he ran his finger through the tobacco looking for the hidden message. He retrieved it and laid it out on the table before him.

_**To my most beloved and faithful servant:**_

_**I am truly sorry to ask this of you my love, but the time has come for you to truly prove your heart to me. The Cousland bitch has insulted and besmirched me and flaunts that she has stolen what is rightfully mine. I demand that you kill this traitorous whelp upon receipt of this letter. There are men with skills to aid you who have accompanied this letter and await only your instructions. **_

_**I leave it in your capable hands to rid me of this usurper so that we may be together again.**_

_**With all my heart**_

Reading the letter again he tried to finalize a plan to fulfill his true mistress' desire, as the familiar script left no doubt who wrote this message. His family had been loyal to his mistress for generations and owed all to her. She had been generous to his family and to him especially, even taking him into her bed and showering him with gifts. His mistress had even promised that one day she would wed him and he would have all his heart desired.

He knew his mistress was demanding and had already demanded Couslands death but he had asked for more time to arrange matters; his time had now run out. He had warned her that Cousland was a canny adversary and not someone to be underestimated. Cousland had been all too effective at removing those in the Keep who did not bear their allegiance to her and replacing them with those who did. At one point it would have been simple to complete this task but no longer.

He held the vellum to the candle on his desk and watched it burn to ash before leaving his room to arrange matters for this evening. It had been a week since Cousland had returned to the Keep and Maker willing tonight she would die and, if possible, her brother too.

...

Varel spurred his horse onwards desperate to reach Vigil's Keep before night fell. Nights spent in dingy taverns with thieves and murderers and days spent re-establishing contacts among both the nobility and the common folk have led him to this. He now knew that an attempt was going to be made on the life of his Arlessa, the woman who saved him from torture and to whom he swore his allegiance. He did not know who ordered the Arlessa's death but he knew Antivan Crows had left the city for the Keep so the plan was in motion.

...

He watched as the lead Crow disabled another trap in the secret passage, cursing silently to himself. If only he had more time to arrange this, he had not expected this passage to have been found let alone the traps_. _If he could he would turn around and try again another day but his mistress did not tolerate failure. One minor mercy was granted them in that it was one of the senior Wardens birthday, and there had been plenty of food and ale at this evening's meal. While Cousland did not drink any of the ale many others did and that should aid their plan.

They were not far from their goal and he double checked that he had the sack with the poisoned steak for that damned mabari. Mabari's are supposed to be smart but no stupid dog would ever refuse a steak. The plan was to toss the poisoned steak into the room to take care of the mabari and then slip in a slit Cousland's throat while she slept. If she awoke then the three of them were certainly sufficient to deal with her.

The trap disabled they moved forward to the door into Cousland's room. The lead Crow almost triggered a claw trap but caught it in time. There were two other traps to be disabled before they could open the door.

With the traps disabled they all quietly drew their weapons and he took the poisoned steak out. The lead Crow slowly opened the door and reached forward to gently place the steak on the stone resulting in a quiet splat.

...

Varel, shouting that it was an emergency, rode through the outer entrance and proceeded to ride his horse right up to the Keep's entrance where several men waited with hands on the hilts of their weapons. He was relieved to see that among the waiting men were Warden Commander Robert and Teryn Cousland. One of the guards grabbed the reins of his horse, now frothing at the mouth from his hard exertions, as he jumped down.

"Antivan Crows left the City of Amaranthine two days ago bound for here. The Arlessa's life is in danger, we must see to her safety," Varel said, more calmly than he could have imagined.

"Seal the Keep, double the guards at every exit and sound the alarm," Fergus commanded a nearby soldier, deciding that the further details could wait until his sister and the fortress was secured.

As they passed through the Keep they shouted orders and collected more soldiers and Wardens. Wardens Lawrence and Samuel would seek out Captain Lowan, Fergus and Robert would see to the Arlessa and Varel would secure Seneschal Kiel. They split up the soldiers and left to see to their tasks.

Varel charged through the Keep towards the Seneschal's room praying that the Arlessa was safe. Fergus had quickly concluded that if Antivan Crows were involved there was no point in continuing the charade and that Kiel should be arrested for theft if nothing else. After seeing the look in the Teryn's eyes Kiel had better pray to the Maker that the Arlessa was safe or else the suffering Varel had endured would pale in comparison to what would be in store for the Seneschal.

He turned the corner and as he began down the hall he saw Kiel armed with a sword, which was unusual for him, and trailed by two elven servants carrying a large chest.

"Stop where you are Kiel," Varel ordered. "You are under arrest." He saw the shocked looks on the elven servants who proceeded to drop the chest and take a couple of steps back away from the Seneschal.

Kiel did not say a word but drew his sword and advanced on Varel. He was outnumbered five to one but appeared ready to either kill those blocking his path or die trying.

"There is nowhere for you to go Kiel. The Keep is sealed and you can't escape. Put the sword down." Kiel advanced another step. "Take Kiel alive," Varel said, knowing that it would be easier and safer just to kill him but then they might never learn who hired the assassins.

Warden John came down the hall behind Seneschal Kiel to see the man with a sword out advancing upon the Keep's soldiers. He quickly notched an arrow in his bow, aimed and let loose. His arrow struck Kiel in the back driving past his clothes and into his heart, killing the man instantly.

"No! We wanted to take him alive," Varel shouted as he watched Kiel fall before him.

...

Kathryne relaxed in the bathing tub, savouring the hot water and the feel of the lavender oil added to it. She wondered if Liselle, the Orlesian oil and flower merchant she had met in the Denerim Markets during the Blight, had managed to escape before the city fell and where she might be now. At the time Liselle's oils had been a welcome and needed extravagance for the female members of their travelling band, treasured for when they were able to have a proper bath rather than wash in a stream or from a bucket.

Aena, the young elven woman she had first met her first evening in the Keep at dinner, had now become her maid of sorts. She was smart, possessed a quick wit and Sarim liked her, and a finer judge of character could not be found. In Highever, Kathryne had resisted her mother's attempts to assign a maid to her preferring to do most of the work herself. But now with her duties as Arlessa and Warden Commander she had bowed to the necessity. The original maid assigned to her had seemed competent but sneezed constantly around Sarim and quite simply the mabari wasn't going to sleep anywhere but her chambers. Kathryne had remembered Aena's manner that evening and suggested her for the job, which she happily accepted. Aena had been Maker sent - she anticipated Kathryne's needs, quickly learned her tastes and was a joy to be around. Sarim loved her, no doubt because Aena sneaked him extra snacks and took him for walks when Kathryne was busy. In fact they should both be back shortly; she had better get out of the tub and changed into her nightgown.

She sat up in the tub and saw out of the corner of her eye the secret door open slowly. Kathryne knew that Leliana had placed so many traps down that passage that only a fool or an assassin would dare traverse it and either one could mean her death. She saw a hand place some meat down on the floor and heard a small noise as it hit the ground. If she had been in another room she never would have heard it. Whoever it was obviously was worried about Sarim and with good reason. That meant an assassin had breached her chambers.

Thankfully there was only a small oil lamp that was burning atop the cabinet beside the secret doorway so this room was relatively dark. There was a dagger on the small table beside the tub that she had earlier used to cut up an apple while she bathed. Her sword and other weapons were in her bedroom and she would have to get out of the tub and pass the secret doorway to get them. Slowly she raised her arm to reach the dagger, careful not to make a sound, hoping that whoever was attempting to enter her room remained where they were for a few moments longer.

She breathed slowly and time seemed to stand still as she waited for the next move.

With the dagger in hand she slipped below the water as the secret door opened further, the assassin no longer prepared to wait to see if Sarim took the bait. Kathryne held her breath until she thought her lungs might burst and then slowly raised her head above the water. With her eyes just above the lip of the tub she could see that the intruder had moved into the central sitting room, from where all the other rooms could be reached. She slowly exited the tub and grabbed the oil lamp in one hand while the other held her dagger.

She tiptoed across the room, careful not to make a sound, leaving a trail of wet footprints and drips from her naked body. There was no point in trying to dry herself or put on her robe when an intruder was in her room, her nakedness might even momentarily distract the assassin giving her a slight advantage.

She peered around the doorframe into her sitting room, there was one man standing with his back to her. She didn't know how many others there were but figured on at least one other.

Slowly she moved behind the intruder, cursing her stupidity that she had brought the lamp and didn't have a free hand. She stabbed the intruder in the back and the man cried out in pain. The body fell to the ground before her with her dagger still lodged in his back. Kathryne reached down and took the intruder's sword.

Fates conspired against her as two other intruders ran back into the sitting room from her office and bedroom respectively. One of the intruders smiled as he looked her up and down, enjoying the sight of her naked body. The two intruders approached her confidently. When they got closer she threw the oil lamp at the leering assassin, watching the glass bottom break on his chest, spreading the oil which was then ignited by the flaming wick as the man flailed his arms. He screamed in terror as the flames quickly spread.

The remaining assassin, mentally she named him Quiet, managed to clip her forearm when she was focused on the leering one and drew blood which quickly flowed. She turned her focus to the man who had just wounded her. Quiet wielded a sword and dagger and stalked around her, confident in his skill. Kathryne took a step to her left to try and keep this assassin and the leering one in front of her so she wouldn't lose track of them.

She sidestepped a sword thrust and parried the assassin's dagger with her sword. She was totally defensive, hoping that the screams of the man she had set on fire would alert someone. She parried another attack and out of the corner of her eye she could see that the leering assassin had put out the flames and now bare-chested was moving to rejoin the attack.

"You'll pay for that bitch!" Leering sneered at her. "It's too bad we don't have enough time to take full payment from you."

The situation was getting more desperate, she was naked, armed with only a sword and facing two skilled opponents. Had no one heard the screams? Where were Aena and Sarim?

Leering overcommitted to a thrust at her and she easily stepped around him while kneeing him in the chest. Before she could recover Quiet cut deeply into her sword arm at the shoulder, drawing a cry of pain.

She quickly switched the sword to her opposite hand and parried a slice from Leering while barely evading another from Quiet. Since she was facing the door into the hall Kathryne saw a group of people barging into her room and recognized Fergus and Leliana's red hair and could hear Sarim's barks. It was a good thing the cavalry had arrived as she was exhausted from the battle, her fear and nerves long since draining her energy.

Quiet, recognizing that his only chance to survive lay with holding her hostage, tried to get behind her but in his rush he made a small error Kathryne could capitalize on. She threw out her leg, tripping Quiet, and stabbed downwards at his falling body. She made sure Quiet was dead before turning to see that Leering was now surrounded but was continuing to fight.

She could hear voices telling Leering to surrender but he pressed the attack and Robert finally killed him.

Kathryne bent down to Quiet to inspect his weapons, his dagger bearing the Antivan Crow emblem told her who she had faced.

"Antivan Crows," Kathryne cursed drawing a few looks. She saw Sarim bound towards her and saw Aena scurry into her bedroom.

"All the men leave this room now," Wynne's voice commanded loudly.

Kathryne felt something being placed upon her back and turned to see Aena pulling a robe around her. She had forgotten that she was standing naked in front of her brother, Robert, and a handful of others who now had seen more of their Arlessa than they ever could have imagined. She could feel her face flush from the embarrassment.

Once Sarim was the only male left in her room and it was certain that all the intruders were dead, Kathryne let her robe slip so that Wynne could heal her injuries. Both the injuries to her forearm and shoulder were deep and her sword arm was a sleeve of blood. There was also a small cut just above her right hip that she hadn't realized she had taken. Since it was Antivan Crows who had wounded her it was certain that she had been poisoned and she said so to Wynne who told her to hush.

Aena was crying while apologizing, feeling that it was her fault this happened as she had taken Sarim for a walk leaving Kathryne defenceless.

"Aena, it's not your fault. I am alive because you drew me a bath. I hid under the water until they had passed which allowed me to surprise and kill the third one," Kathryne said, as she reached out and held Aena's hand. "There is some meat on the lavatory floor that the assassins laid out for Sarim. It is likely poisoned. Could you please get rid of it so I don't take a chance Sarim eats it.

"Of course my Lady," Aena said, her eyes still full of tears.

"Are you okay Kathryne?" Leliana asked as she squeezed the bloody hand she was holding.

"I'll be fine once Wynne is finished with me. I am more embarrassed than hurt. I can't believe all those people saw me naked."

"At least you're not ugly and have a beautiful body, even if it is covered in blood," Leliana said jokingly.

Kathryne stared daggers at her but it was next to impossible to remain angry at the bard and she finally ended up laughing along with her.

"Thank you Wynne," Kathryne said after the mage was finished healing her.

"Your arm is going to be sore for a few days and since you still have bathwater get cleaned up and then I will dress your wounds," Wynne said.

Leliana filled a small basin with bathwater and used a cloth to clean off the worst of the blood, so as not to entirely spoil the water in the tub. Afterwards, she helped Kathryne into the bathtub and, since she was exhausted and her arm sore, the bard washed her wounds and dried her off before Aena returned.

Once again clean and now bandaged, Aena helped Kathryne into a simple dress while Wynne went to open the door to again allow entrance to her room.

Seeing the people in her room Kathryne again went flush and felt she had to say one thing first.

"If I hear any rumours of what people saw in this room other than dead assassins I will personally gut that person."

"The Teryn already made that perfectly clear Commander," she heard someone say.

"What do we know?" Kathryne asked.

"Varel arrived a short time ago, riding in hard on horseback screaming of an emergency. Fortunately Robert and I were there to greet him," Fergus said, relieved that his sister was alive and safe. "He said that Antivan Crows had left the City of Amaranthine a few days ago and that you were in danger. I ordered the alarm sounded and the Keep sealed. Varel and some men went to arrest Kiel, others to Lowan while the rest of us came up here, passing Aena and Sarim just down the hall."

"Two of the dead here are Antivan Crows and the third one is Captain Lowan. We have men tearing apart the place apart to find any others and how the Crows got in. I've ordered Lowan's and Kiel's rooms sealed and guarded." Ferus took a deep breath before continuing. "How didn't they get you Kat?"

"I was taking a bath and the room was dark. I saw the door open and slipped under the water until they passed," Kathryne said. "I snuck behind Lowan, I guess, and stabbed him in the back and then fought the other two until you all arrived. It is a good thing you arrived when you did or else I would have been done for."

She saw Varel enter the room.

"Thank you for your timely arrival, good ser." Kathryne said as she moved to embrace the man.

"I am sorry that I could not be here sooner, my Lady. Also, I regret to inform you that Seneschal Kiel was killed when we tried to arrest him. I wanted to take him alive but..."

"I would rather see him dead than have one of our good men and women dying in the attempt to capture him." Kathryne interrupted


	16. Chapter 16

Chapter Sixteen

In the days that followed the attempt on her life Kathryne could only feel humbled by the love and support of the good men and women living and working at Vigil's Keep. The soldiers were furious over the attempt and especially that at least one of their own was involved. They looked like they would kill anyone who looked at their Arlessa wrongly. Their patrols and training were done with added zeal and the few bandits and darkspawn they encountered were dispatched without mercy. Leliana led a team of men who went over the Keep with a fine toothed comb, searching for any other passages through the Keep and any weaknesses in their defences. The servants were beside themselves over her welfare and Kathryne felt like she had gained several pounds from the food. The cooks had asked Fergus what her favourites were and each meal contained several. She had even joked that her birthday was still some time away.

After again refusing to accept her pleas to dismiss her, Aena was incorrigible. Each day she brought fresh flowers to Kathryne's room and, taking Wynne's instructions to the literal extreme, forbid Kathryne from exerting herself; following behind the Arlessa to ensure her orders were followed. Fergus took far too much pleasure at the sight of the two of them and teased his sister unmercifully, as now she was the one being mothered and not him. Aena was so heartfelt and earnest that Kathryne bore it with a smile, recognizing the intentions behind her actions. The young elf was a good woman and she was lucky to have her.

Kiel's room had been thoroughly searched and while there was evidence of his theft there was none regarding the attempt on her life. The chest he had ordered the elves to carry for him that evening contained a few personal belongings but far more gold and silver. If he had been involved in the attempt he clearly doubted its success and had decided to flee.

The search of Lowan's room was equally futile. There was evidence of a burned note but nothing that could be read. He had a packed bag in his chest containing a few tokens of affection but nothing identifying. He had a fair sum of coins but not outlandish if he was frugal in his spending. On the whole, nothing but his actions would have proven him guilty. They still only had their suspicions that others were involved based primarily on the involvement of the Crows. No guard captain, no matter how frugal, could afford their services.

A few days after the failed attempt she received a note from Lady Liza Packton asking whether it was possible for her son, Ser Reginald, to return home as they were having problems with bandits around her lands. Since Ser Reginald was next door to useless and was one of the suspicious characters they had originally identified Kathryne gladly accepted. Now she could be reasonably sure that all those at Vigil's Keep were loyal to the Grey Wardens.

All passageways that led to individual bedrooms were mortared shut while the ones that emptied into hallways were kept in case of emergency.

On the whole it was frustrating to wait for an opponent to make their move, successfully defend against it and yet find yourself no further ahead.

She began to make preparations for their journey to Highever while her arm healed.

...

"Leliana, may I have a moment of your time?" Fergus asked, after the door had opened.

"Of course Your...Fergus," she answered, saying the Teryn's given name when he frowned at her. She gestured for Fergus to enter her room. Fergus sat on the chair by the desk and Leliana sat on the edge of her bed.

"I would like to talk to you about my sister. I nearly lost her and there are some things I need to know."

"How can I help?"

"She has become even more tight-lipped than she was growing up and it has long since lost its charm. There are questions I must ask. I have tried asking her but she gives me useless answers or obvious excuses and then changes the subject. I know how much she trusts you and values your friendship and so I came to you."

"I will not betray her confidence but I will answer what I can," Leliana replied.

"In Denerim, I saw the way the King looked at her and at times the way she looked at him. Is there something between them? I'm asking not as an overprotective brother but as a concerned one." Fergus reached out and gently clasped Leliana's hand. "I know she loves each of you that travelled together but she needs someone in her life. I don't want to sound like our mother but she needs to settle down, she can't just fight darkspawn.

"If I am right and she and Alistair love each other then why doesn't he contact her? Why doesn't he propose to her? If nothing else a Cousland bride would only enhance his favour with the Landsmeet and if they love each other then so much the better for him than an arranged political marriage."

Leliana looked into Fergus' eyes and she could see the concern there. It was not the look of a brother protecting his sister's virtue. She thought carefully, taking her time to frame a response that provided an answer but did not break a confidence. The truth could only come from Kathryne.

"Your sister told me of your mother's failed attempts at finding her a husband. She had said that she wanted someone to love her for who she is and not her family name and title. I will only say that Alistair and Kathryne love each other deeply and the seeds started before either knew the others true identity. To say anything more would betray her trust. I wish I could tell you more but it is not my place, I'm sorry Fergus."

Fergus looked at the bard, frustrated by the partial answer but recognizing the position she was in. He would rather his sister had a friend who would mind her tongue than gossip, even to him.


	17. Chapter 17

Chapter Seventeen

As their party neared the outskirts of the town of Highever Kathryne fought not to cry. Many of the homes they passed had been torched, whether during the Blight or from Howe's attack she wasn't certain.

Along with Fergus, Sarim, Leliana, Wynne, Shale, Wardens Robert, Samuel, Kirstoff and John she had brought a platoon of soldiers from Vigil's Keep. They had reports a militia had formed and the overall state of the terynir was stable but Kathryne had wanted the extra men just in case. They brought two wagons of supplies and another of equipment. At some point they would retrieve the nearly two full rooms of items at Vigil's Keep that were stolen from her home, ranging from paintings to engraved silver serving trays bearing the laurel wreath.

She looked to her left and saw the burned remains of the shop and home of Master Merrick the Glassblower. Ahead she could see the remains of Lady Miranda the herbalist and midwife's home; the large garden that she had taken such meticulous care of now destroyed.

During the Blight when they had originally gone to Soldier's Peak Kathryne had wanted to come here as well. She had wanted to mourn the dead and fight to free the good people of Highever who surely suffered at Howe's hands. She had accepted her companion's pleas that the Blight took priority, that to walk into an enemy held town where she was well known would be suicide. Kathryne knew that while their points had merit she had only accepted them because she felt guilty. Guilty that she had fled and survived while others stayed and died.

There had been a few curious looks from passersby when they first sighted the town and some of the curious had run ahead to warn that a large armed group was approaching. The men guarding the gates of Highever's walls had barely challenged them and they entered the town freely. A part of Kathryne wanted to rail on the soldiers – had they learned nothing from Howe's attack? If the King arrived in Highever he should have to prove his identity and state his intentions before entering under guard. While it was clear who they were and they had sent a runner of there own ahead, this was sloppy and dangerous.

Now that they were close to the centre of the town she could see a large crowd gathered before them in the town square; it seemed as though the entire town was there. Memories of Satanalia and Harvest Feasts along with their accompanying dances and celebrations came to mind. She could almost see the stage and her mother and father upon it.

Kathryne reached out and grabbed her brother's hand.

As she approached the crowd Kathryne looked down at the cobblestones at her feet, afraid to look the townspeople in the eye and see what could only be hate there. She squeezed Fergus' hand tighter and allowed him to lead her forward. She stopped when Fergus did but still couldn't raise her eyes to see the people before her.

Silence stretched out into an eternity as Kathryne held her breath.

"All Hail Teryn Fergus Cousland! All Hail Lady Kathryne Cousland, the Hero of Ferelden!"

The cheer was deafening and the entire town seemed to shake to its foundations. Kathryne raised her head and blinked away tears. Of all the possible greetings they could have received she never would have believed this one. As she looked into so many familiar and happy faces and felt herself drawn away from Fergus and embraced warmly by the townspeople she felt a little ashamed at doubting the fine citizens of Highever. To the last person these people loved her parents almost as much as she did. While the Couslands led the people they were also friends and citizens of Highever.

She embraced the familiar faces and her tears were ones of joy at seeing those she counted as friends still living. After a few greetings and introductions Kathryne addressed herself to Mayor Thomas Wilkens.

Mayor Wilkens was an old, somewhat infirm man, but he more than made up for it with intelligence, shrewdness and wisdom. Before retiring to become Mayor of Highever he had served with distinction as Seneschal for her father, stepping aside to allow his son Hamish to assume the position. Unfortunately she had seen Hamish's body when she had fought through the castle that fateful night.

"Master Wilkens I am truly sorry for the loss of your son. If it is any consolation he died bravely," Kathryne said before addressing the crowd. "I am sorry for everyone who lost a mother, a father, a son or daughter that night and every night since then. I hope one day you can all forgive me for abandoning you in your hour of need."

"There, there lassie," Mayor Wilkens said, as he patted her on the shoulder. "Had you stayed and fought you would only have died. There was nothing you could have done and we all know that you killed that bastard Howe for us and even killed the Archdemon. We're all so proud that a daughter of Highever led Ferelden to victory and ended the Blight."

Kathryne scanned the crowd seeing nods of agreement along with a few tears from a few of the ladies.

"Thank you all for your kind words and acceptance. Never in my wildest dreams had I imagined a greeting such as this though I should have known better. Surely the Maker blessed me that I can count all of you good people among my friends."

Another cheer went up for Lady Cousland.

The next hours were spent learning what had happened since that dreadful evening, hearing who had fallen that night and in the days that followed as the people fought valiantly against Howe's men. Following the sacking of the castle there were some active and retired soldiers and a handful of knights who lived in Highever and nearby villages who had begun sabotaging Howe's equipment and killing his men whenever they were able. Once the Blight had begun in earnest and many of Howe's men had withdrawn to protect Vigil's Keep and Denerim, these veterans routed Howe's remaining forces, killing them all and freeing the town and surrounding lands. The people refused to be governed by a traitor who had killed their beloved Teryn and Teryna.

Highever was far enough away from the darkspawn horde that while there had been some large attacks it was nothing compared to what had occurred in the south where the horde had nearly destroyed everything in its path. Most of the damage had been inflicted during Howe's initial siege and later when they fought to finally drive the invaders and bandits out. Howe's men had thought to torch the town to cover their escape and hadn't expected that it would only spur the Highever men and women to fight until the last.

After the Blight had ended and they heard news that Kathryne had survived they had rejoiced only to rejoice again when they learned that Fergus lived as well. They had cheered to learn the Howe family had been stripped of all titles and lands which now belonged to the Grey Wardens led by a Highever daughter.

The townsfolk had appreciated the supplies sent when the men of Redcliffe passed through on their way home and welcomed the news that their Teryn would be arriving soon.

The supplies they had brought from Vigil's Keep were distributed to the needy with the remainder held to distribute to nearby villages and in case of future need. Life had gradually been returning to normal in the town and now that the Blight had ended groups had begun to rebuild some of the homes that had burned down. The people of Highever had opened their doors to the families who had lost their homes or those who had lived in the castle and were homeless. As a result some homes were bursting with excess people. Now that they had arrived with additional equipment and more importantly manpower the rebuilding of homes could proceed at a faster pace.

The loss of life was tragic but the way the people of Highever banded together truly was heart-warming and a testament to their character. The men and women had even created an informal militia that patrolled the town and nearby villages and guarded the castle. They were determined to prevent more of it being looted especially knowing that Couslands would be returning to live in it again.

It was a day filled with tears, ones of joy and others of sadness.

There was an informal meal that evening in the town square and once finished an older lady approached followed by a young man and woman.

"Lady Stephanie," Kathryne cried out, springing to her feet to embrace the woman. She recognized her youngest son and daughter, Jonathan and Sophia, as the people behind her who were each reverently carrying two small chests, one in each hand. She remembered Jonathan as just about to enter service to her family in hopes of becoming a knight and Sophia, a few years her junior had been betrothed but she couldn't remember to whom.

Stephanie was the matron of the castle who oversaw all of the domestic affairs within it. As Nan was to the kitchen, Stephanie was to the entire castle. Stephanie had taught Kathryne how to sew, dance and so many other things at her mother's direction. Unlike Nan whose gruff exterior hid a heart of gold Stephanie's exterior was as sweet as her nature. It was good that this dear old lady had survived. She released Stephanie, making way for Fergus, and acknowledged her children so as not to disturb their burdens.

"It does my heart good to see you too children again," Stephanie said. She had been Fergus' nanny when he was a child and of course had known Kathryne from when she was a babe; to her both Couslands would always be children. She gestured her children forward, Sophie in front of Kathryne and Jonathan before Fergus. They held out the chests.

Even under firelight it was clear that each chest was finely crafted, made of stained and polished oak with mahogany inlays creating the symbol of Andraste's undying flame. Along the top was an oval piece of polished brass that had been engraved though without moving closer to the fire it was impossible to read.

Kathryne and Fergus both looked to Stephanie for an explanation even though they both suspected what the boxes held.

"Your Grace, my Lady," Stephanie said solemnly. She gestured to Sophia, "These are the ashes of the Teryn and Teryna. These are the ashes of Lady Oriana and Master Oren." She gestured to Jonathan.

Kathryne was speechless and once again tears clouded her eyes. She clasped Lady Stephanie's hand hoping that her touch could speak the words she wanted to say.

She distantly heard Fergus give thanks and begin to question as to what had happened to their family and what condition they were found in. She heard Mayor Wilkens tell the Teryn that no good could come from his questions.

Kathryne pulled Fergus towards her into a hug and whispered into his ear. "Please Fergus let it lie. Howe is dead and our family was treated with respect by those who loved them."

"Tell me that bastard paid for what he did to them," Fergus' voice dripping venom.

Kathryne thought back to when she had finally confronted Howe. She left the others with her, Leliana, Morrigan and Zevran, to deal with the guards and mages while she focused on Howe. She cut through one of the mages as she forced her way through to the betrayer.

"_Howe, are you prepared to die for what you did to my family?" she yelled._

"_If it isn't Bryce's little spitfire playing the man. Have you come to let me kill you and rid Ferelden of the last of the traitorous Couslands," Howe said disdainfully._

"_You are the traitor not my family. You broke your oaths of loyalty and friendship and butchered innocent men, women and children in their sleep. I regret that I can only kill you once from the crimes you have committed."_

_She drew first blood and Howe cursed at her._

"_You little bitch! You'll squirm beneath me just like your whore of a mother before I kill you. I took her while your dying father watched," Howe said proudly._

_Howe was better than she expected but she had the advantage of youth and a year spent fighting for her life, he was outmatched. She attacked Howe relentlessly, consumed by rage, and carved him up like a Harvest Festival turkey. It was when she stopped and gestured for Howe to get off his knees and pick his axe back up that she heard someone speaking to her._

"_Please my dear Warden," Zevran said calmly. "If you want to torture this man let me do it. You're better than this."_

_Zevran's heartfelt words broke through the spell of her rage and she looked at the concerned faces of her companions. She walked to Howe and in one swing decapitated him._

"He died by hand Fergus and while he suffered I granted him more mercy than he deserved," Kathryne whispered.

When night fell Mayor Wilkens suggested that they retire to the castle for the evening. The men and women of Highever, many who had worked in the castle and would again, had been preparing for their arrival.

"Your mother, Maker bless and keep her, entrusted me to see to the needs of her home. I'd not betray her trust by letting her children return to their home to see it covered in Amaranthine filth. No offense my Lady," Stephanie said.

"None taken, we would have been here sooner had we not been doing the same thing at Vigil's Keep," Kathryne gave a mirthless chuckle. "I thank you all for your efforts but I think I can speak for the Teryn when I say that you should have seen to the town's needs first. Tomorrow our focus is solely on ensuring that each home is rebuilt and that everyone has a proper bed." She remembered that her brother ruled here, "Am I correct your Grace?"

"Yes, of course. I can't tell you how touched I am that everyone would do this for us," Fergus said.

Stephanie waved them both off as if cleaning and preparing the castle for them was no bother and not worth speaking of. "Some of the militia and much of the staff have again taken rooms though many of the barracks still need to be rebuilt. The guest rooms are ready but most of the men who accompanied you will have to sleep in tents or inside on their bedrolls, we haven't the space. I wish you had told us when you would be arriving and in what numbers so we would have been better prepared." Stephanie spoke as if the Couslands arrival after more than a year away was a trivial matter. "We've prepared the Teryn's room for you and your old room is ready but we also have others prepared if you'd like," Stephanie said.

The two Couslands shared a look; their eyes saying that at least for tonight the family wing would remain empty. Better to face those ghosts in the light of day.

"I think we'll take the alternate rooms," Fergus said.


	18. Chapter 18

Chapter Eighteen

Kathryne woke before sunrise in an unfamiliar room in her now unfamiliar home. It had been a restless night's sleep and more than once she was tempted to knock on Fergus' door and see if he was in similar straits. She and Fergus had escorted their guests to their rooms last night and it had been hard not to be overwhelmed by memories or to catalogue what was missing from the rooms, walls, or floor or most importantly the missing faces of those lost.

What the castle was missing most though was her family: her parents, Oriana and Oren. Her father and mother both had such a presence that eyes were drawn to them and they seemed to fill a room. They were the heart and soul of the castle and it was hard to imagine that it even still existed without them. Oriana, a woman Fergus married for love and not for land or titles. She had quickly become a sister, daughter, wife and mother. Oren, the adorable little boy who so favoured his father in looks and manner. Their absence was like an open wound on each Cousland's heart and upon the stone of the castle itself.

When she had passed the main hall last night Kathryne had expected to see her family there as was the family custom. She had never before returned from an overnight absence without her parents, alerted to her arrival by the guards, waiting in the hall to welcome her back. She looked at the two wooden boxes on the dresser containing her parent's ashes and wondered if Fergus was awake and doing the same thing. She felt a cold mabari nose nudge her hand and patted Sarim. He too had seemed out of sorts at returning to the castle and sniffed almost every crevice and person they came across.

She quickly dressed in trousers and a linen shirt, slipped on her boots and padded shirt and then buckled on her leather armour. She belted on her sword, strapped her shield to her back and grabbed her bow and quiver. "Come on boy, let's go outside." She opened the door and gestured for Sarim to lead.

Together they made their way outside, intending to walk around the grounds and after sunrise to visit the practice area.

She had finished loosening up with her sword forms and was practicing her archery when she heard a familiar voice.

"I don't often see you with a bow," Robert said.

"I'm a fair shot. I've never won a tournament but I've never starved either," Kathryne said. She loosed the arrow and watched as it hit the 8-ring. She turned and smiled. "My mother was quite a battle maiden in her youth and was my first instructor. She gave me my first bow when I was six after I nearly killed myself with my brother's sword."

"So, like mother like daughter," he laughed.

"Cousland woman have oftentimes been more dangerous than the men."

"With all due respect to your brother of that I have little doubt. Your own prowess is something to be feared and admired."

Kathryne looked at her fellow Warden Commander bashfully. "I was trained so that I could protect myself and my people and not for glory but I thank you for the compliment." She paused for a moment before continuing.

"I had never killed a man before Howe attacked and two men broke into my bedchambers. Sarim was barking and scratching at the door and woke me. I had just gotten up to open the door to see what the disturbance was when they broke the lock. Luckily, I was by my weapons. After we finished those two off we went out into the hall to see two more attempting to break into my parent's rooms.

"After it was safe I collected my mother and we went to check on Fergus' wife and son, Oriana and Oren. From what we saw, Oriana had tried to shield the boy but it didn't matter. They killed her and then him. She was a kind hearted woman who had never hurt anyone and Oren was just a six year old boy. Only hours before he had met Duncan and Fergus had promised to return from Ostagar with Oren's first sword." Kathryne's eyes took on a faraway look of remembrance. "He would have gone to bed that night dreaming of riding griffons and fighting dragons.

"My mother and I fought through the castle, rallying the remaining soldiers but we were too few and Howe's forces overwhelming. Nearly all of our men had already left for Ostagar with my brother, answering the King's call. My father had sent our troops out ahead and had intended to leave with the men of his 'old friend' Rendon Howe who had been delayed by the weather. Good men held the doors to the main hall to allow my mother and me to head to the larder and the servant's exit where we hoped to meet up with my father and escape.

"We entered the larder to find my father badly wounded and near death. I was trying to carry my father to the exit when Duncan returned; he had been searching for us.

"My father said he would never make it and begged Duncan to take my mother and me to safety. Duncan demanded that I become a Grey Warden as the price for his aid. I'd like to think that had my father refused he would have still aided us but until I saw the horde at Ostagar a large part of me hated him.

"My mother refused to leave my father's side and stayed to cover our escape. Duncan tried to drag me along with him before finally knocking me senseless with the hilt of his dagger. Sarim gave him a nasty bite for that." Kathryne chuckled at the memory. "It was two days before I spoke to him.

"I had wanted to return here and fight even if it meant my death and after Ostagar with Fergus lost the idea was even more tempting. I stayed away because of my duty to end the Blight and because I was afraid to return and see the faces of the people I abandoned."

Robert did not know what to say. He had known Duncan and was surprised to hear that he had coerced the Teryn into agreement though he doubted Duncan would have refused his aid. There were times when Wardens must face terrible choices and perform terrible acts to stop the darkspawn, but still a part of him rebelled to hear the nature of Kathryne's recruitment even during a Blight. Once they had been certain of the Archdemon's involvement both he and his senior Wardens had recruited many men that under normal circumstances would never have been asked. They had strong-armed a few nobles and members of the Chantry and finally invoked the right of conscription in order to free a few men of their oaths of service but all recruits had been willing to join.

"It was obvious yesterday that your concerns were unfounded," Robert said. "The people care for your family a great deal and are delighted that both you and Fergus have returned to them. I have visited many noble houses in Orlais and never before have I seen rulers so beloved by their people nor, if the tales yesterday are to be believed, nobles who gave so selflessly of themselves to those under their protection. It speaks well of your parents and I regret that I will never be able to meet them."

"The men and women across all of Highever are strong and proud of their origins and once you have earned their friendship you will find no better," the Commander said proudly. "They are craftsmen, farmers, fishermen and merchants and are not afraid of hard, honest work. They are welcoming to visitors bearing no ill intentions however, those who do quickly find themselves on the wrong side of strong arms and sharp blades.

"My family has stewarded and protected these lands for more than five hundred years. Our very blood is in its soil just as Highever beats in my heart. My grandfather Aedan went into exile and fought and died beside the Rebel Queen Moira and my father fought beside King Maric the Savior. The people know that we give of ourselves first and that duty, honour and loyalty are the hallmarks of the Couslands."

Kathryne was silent for a moment. There was a question she wanted to ask but was unsure of how or if to proceed. "Can I ask you a personal question Robert?"

"Of course."

"Have you ever been married?" Kathryne asked.

"I was married once, to a beautiful woman named Elise," Robert said. His eyes looked past his fellow Warden as the memories of his wife came to mind. "I married her when I was twenty-six and she twenty-four. Elise actually asked me to marry her as Warden's usually don't wed. We lead a hard and demanding life which is all too short and though I loved her madly I was hesitant to accept. She eventually convinced me that only the Maker knew how much time we each had and that she wanted to spend hers with me. She was my world and we had ten good years together before she caught a fever and passed. She sits at the Maker's side now."

"I'm sorry for your loss," said Kathryne as she put a comforting hand on his shoulder. "Did you tell your wife or your family anything about the changes being a Warden brings?"

"I told Elise a few things but nothing to my brothers and sisters. Elise had wanted children and I warned her that it would be difficult but I did not get into specific details of the taint. As I have gotten older I have thought about my Calling and what, if anything, I might say to my brothers and sisters when the time comes but have no answer. I am from a large family and even though most of us live in the same city I rarely see them now. I have six brothers and four sisters, twenty-eight nieces and nephews and even five grandchildren. For a time I tried to stay involved with their lives but after Elise passed and as my duties grew it became more and more difficult." Robert said regretfully. "Is Fergus asking questions of you?"

"I've managed to put him off but my excuses are running out," Kathryne said. "Alistair…the King and I grew very close during our travels and I love him and he me. He wants to marry me but I refused. It will be difficult enough for him to father a child without me and both he and my country will need an heir. Politically it wouldn't do for both king and queen to be Wardens either, there are those among the Bannorn who would fight every decision claiming foreign Warden influence and favouritism." She paused. "I know my brother well enough to know that he suspects about Alistair."

For a moment Robert was surprised at Kathryne's frank comments regarding the King's marriage proposal but then remembered that she had been raised in one of Ferelden's most powerful noble houses. In normal times any potential marriage for her would have political repercussions and now a marriage to another Grey Warden who is also King even more so. His own family was wealthy and powerful enough that love was often a secondary concern in finding a suitable match. His father had treated marriage as no different than any other business contract. He knew that she was correct, that she would probably never bear Alistair's child and that a marriage between them would be disastrous politically, no matter how much they were both were beloved by the common man. A part of him wanted to pull her into an embrace for all that she had lost and knowing that she was forfeiting her future happiness. He had been around her enough to know that she put on a brave front but behind that façade she was hurting.

"I am truly sorry," said Robert. "I wish it were otherwise but you are correct that two Wardens will never have a child together." He started to raise his arms and then thought better of it and let them fall to his sides.

"For the most part I have made peace with my life although there are moments of regret," Kathryne said, forcing a smile. "I am being honest when I say that I am loathe to recruit many women and wish we didn't keep so many damned secrets so that recruits knew what they were getting into.

"I know, I know, do not doubt that I will do my duty, keep our secrets and not betray my oaths." Kathryne added when it looked like Robert was going to speak. She wanted to clear her thoughts and avoid further conversation. "Now since you're here and I am no longer by myself would you care to spar?"

Robert was cursing himself for rising early and was unsure how long they had sparred before others joined them on the practice field. He had been watching her spar regularly and thought he had a sense of her moves and speed but still she surprised him. She adapted quickly to changes in stance and tactics and was punishing in her attack. Both he and Kathryne were sweating profusely from their exertions and would have a few bruises, but Robert could already tell that he would bear considerably more. She had needed an outlet for her pain, fears and nervous energy and while he was happy to help he was glad that he wore heavy plate.

He raised his sword in salute to his opponent who then did the same and together they turned and saluted the crowd of onlookers, drawing a few cheers.

"My thanks Commander, though perhaps tomorrow I will stay in bed." Robert said jokingly.

"And to you as well good ser," Kathryne answered with an exaggerated bow. "Perhaps tomorrow if you would like a real fight I can arrange for Lady Stephanie to take my place?"

A roar of laughter rippled through the crowd and Robert joined in.

"I value my skin too much to dare cross blades with that dear lady. My mother raised no fool."

Another wave of laughter as all recognized the truth of his words. Lady Stephanie reminded him of a mother bear protecting her cubs.

...

Kathryne had washed and had her morning meal and then Lady Stephanie led both Couslands and several of their guests on a tour of the castle. It seemed odd that Fergus and she were being given a tour but Stephanie primarily spoke of the damage done and the repairs yet to be completed.

The library containing so many of the books their grandfather had amassed was a shell of its former self. One could only assume that Howe's men had been illiterate and used the books either for kindling or cleaning their backsides to cover their shortcomings. The small chapel now contained beds to accommodate the female servants. Each of the quarters where the knights had slept were now crowded with beds and cots for the militia. The kennel and stables had burned down, taking with it all of the animals, who would have panicked something fierce at being trapped by the flames. Of the six soldier and two servant barracks that were inside the castle's outer walls only two had escaped the fire and both were packed to the rafters with beds.

The tour overlooked the family wing of the castle and when it was finished the Couslands excused themselves to journey there alone, Sarim taking the lead.

They held hands as they walked up the slope towards the door that marked the entrance to their old quarters.

Kathryne opened the door to her old room and stepped inside, walking around her rooms with a keen eye. She noted that her four post canopy bed and furniture remained as it was that last night here. She looked on the dresser top in her bedroom and saw that a few personal items of hers had been laid out. An engraved brush and comb, an ivory clasp for her hair, and small mirror sat atop an embroidered piece of linen bearing the laurel wreath of her family – her first serious attempt at embroidery. A needlepoint of a bouquet of Andraste's Grace and other wildflowers that her mother had made hung on the wall. There must be something about Andraste's Grace and mothers as it had been her mother's favourite flower as well as Leliana's. Missing was the silver mirror and hairbrush that had belonged to her maternal grandmother and had been passed down to her by her mother when she had turned sixteen. She absently noted a few other missing things, a few of which she knew were at Vigil's Keep.

Her mother had always said that an object was ever only an object and could be replaced; that it was people who should be treasured as they were irreplaceable and one never knew when the Maker would take them into his arms. Kathryne had always tried to embrace this ideal and certainly the last year of her life, stripped of family, friends and home, had only reinforced her mother's wisdom. She treasured the missing items though, not for their value in gold but for the memories they held and the link to her past and loved ones.

They entered her parent's apartment, now prepared for Fergus. It was little different than it had been when they were alive. A few paintings and tapestries were missing from the walls and the floor was missing a few carpets but in most places another had been hung or laid out. Some of Fergus' things had been set out in anticipation of his occupancy.

Kathryne could see Fergus falter as he reached out to open the door to his old apartment. She squeezed his hand in hers and opened the door. Even from the hall she could see that someone, no doubt on Lady Stephanie's orders, had replaced every piece of furniture in the room. She didn't know whether it was a kindness or another cut to Fergus' wounded heart. Somewhere in the castle she knew that whatever belongings of Oriana and Oren that remained were stored and had been treated with care and respect. The old matron, who had been Fergus' nanny, had only wanted to spare him any unnecessary pain.

Fergus took a step forwards and she followed him inside. She watched Fergus look around, a haunted look of grief and pain upon his face. Kathryne saw Sarim sniff the floor almost exactly where she had found the bodies of Oren and Oriana. Suddenly Sarim let out a great, bone rattling howl that seemed as if it would resonate throughout the castle. Fergus fell to his knees beside her.

She moved and pulled Fergus close, resting his head against her stomach and stroking her fingers through his hair reassuringly. She could feel his tremors as he cried against her and she vowed not to cry and to be strong for her brother.

After he finished Fergus pulled away from her.

"Could you please leave me alone for a while?" Fergus asked.

"Of course Fergus, whatever you need. I'll be right outside." She clasped his hands in hers and looked him in the eyes. "We _will_ get through this together," she commanded, leaving no room for doubt.

Kathryne signalled for Sarim to remain with her brother and was pleased to see the mabari force himself under Fergus' hand and receive an ear scratching.

She left the door slightly ajar and slumped down onto the floor, resting her back against the wall. Inside she could faintly hear Fergus' muffled sobs. She wanted to run back in and support her brother but Fergus needed the time alone. From her own experience encountering her father's spirit in the Gauntlet Kathryne knew that it was one thing to know in your heart that your loved ones were gone, but another thing entirely to confront the harsh reality of it face-to-face. Unfortunately for Fergus, she doubted that the spirit of Oriana would appear in the room they had shared offering words of comfort to ease his pain and mend his spirit.

There had been little enough privacy to grieve last night when they had been given the ashes and so she granted it now for she knew how much Fergus loved and missed his wife and son.


	19. Chapter 19

Chapter Nineteen

Life in Highever quickly fell into a routine. Kathryne would wake at sunrise and take Sarim outside while she practiced with her weapons, paying particular attention to her archery. She would then quickly wash herself and have her morning meal with Fergus and her companions. Afterwards she would alternate between heading out on patrol or overseeing the repairs to the town and castle. When not out on patrol she would again have her evening meal at the castle with her brother and her friends. After dinner, for a time, she would play a card game called poker that the Orlesian Wardens had brought with them. At its core poker was a game of betting and bluffs and they played for a copper a hand. While Kathryne enjoyed it, Leliana proved to be too adept at reading when another was bluffing and had won far too often to be sporting. The bard was a gracious winner though and would normally say what gave the bluffer away – '_Ah! I've won again. I like this game. Don't be discouraged, you really are getting better. I almost did not notice the slight flare of your nostrils after you drew your last card'. _After Leliana had refrained from playing, Kathryne played chess with the bard, read or listened to Leliana play her lute.

Most of the former militia had become proper soldiers under the Teryn with a few returning to their families and vocation. All practiced with the Grey Wardens and the men from Vigil's Keep who rotated in and were quickly developing into a powerful fighting force. Fergus had even knighted his first man, Ser Graham, who had distinguished himself in battle against Howe's troops and the darkspawn during the Blight and was skilled with sword and shield.

The patrols usually were unremarkable, with only one battle with darkspawn and the occasional battle with bandits. The patrols while important to the safety of the terynir, were more about reassuring the freeholders and commoners that Fergus was in control of the land and that order was restored. Recruiting to replenish Highever's soldiers and fully man the outposts that protected the lands was given a high priority as well. They patrolled from Harper's Ford to the Highlands that bordered West Hill and south to the Bannorn.

While she would never be a carpenter Kathryne did enjoy helping to rebuild and repair homes - to create with her hands rather than kill. She often did not do much, hammer in a few nails or bring the next piece of wood over to another, but however small she wanted to help people and she thought they appreciated it.

Kathryne convinced Fergus to expand and enhance the Alienage in Highever. While it was nowhere near as cramped or rundown as the one in Denerim and for the most part elves were treated much better here, her experiences had convinced her that her family could do more for the elves. She wished that the elves could be free to live anywhere they chose, but in reality there was safety for the elves by living together and not everyone thought as she did. That safety however, should not have to come by living in squalor.

Without fail at every village and town she went to that contained a garrison of templars Katryne sought out word of Morrigan. When in Highever she visited Knight-Commander Stephen in Highever's chantry weekly to check in as well. As yet there were no promising leads and she was growing frustrated.

After a month Kathryne along with Leliana and Robert escorted Wynne and Shale to the Circle Tower, Kinloch Hold, so that Wynne could consult the library there for Shale's cure. Two weeks later and after a goodbye from the town of Highever that the Orlesian Wardens would never forget, it was time for the Wardens returning to Orlais to stop at Vigil's Keep and then finally return home.

...

The Grey Wardens walked into a dimly lit room, deep down in the basements underneath the Vigil, accompanied by three recruits set to undergo the Joining: Ser Willem, Orik, and Leito. Kathryne watched them enter the room selected for the Joining ceremony. She had come down earlier with Laurence and Robert to prepare. It was distant enough that their ritual would remain secret and that if the worst happened and a recruit died there would be no witnesses as the body was removed. This was to be Kathryne's first Joining as Warden Commander and the Orlesian Wardens had delayed it to ensure her presence. She had insisted upon meeting Orik, whom she had not met previously, to get a sense of his character and background. While the need for Wardens was urgent she was bound and determined that merely being strong enough to survive the Joining not be the only measure used.

Ser Willem was a knight formerly of the Royal Army who had resigned his commission to become a Warden. He gave his age at twenty-eight, was unmarried and was skilled with his maul. Willem was a veteran of the final battle of the Blight and when Kathryne pressed as to why he left the army he said, 'My Lady, I have seen the evil of the darkspawn firsthand and can think of no greater calling than to protect Ferelden and all that I love against them.' While it was a somewhat trite answer all of their queries regarding him had come back favourably attesting to his skill, honour and bravery.

Orik was an elven thief who had tried to rob Warden Laurence and after his sleight of hand failed he had drawn a blade. Laurence had defeated the elf but had been impressed enough to offer him a place among the Wardens and a chance at an honest life. Kathryne had watched him practice and he was skilled enough but always seemed as though he was casing the Vigil as if he was set to rob it. When she mentioned this Robert and Laurence they both had said that it was expected when an ex-thief was recruited but that after the Joining the taint and duty would replace it.

Leito was a smarmy man who Kathryne took an instant dislike to. He was a kiss-ass and tended to leer at every woman in the Vigil. However no one reported any untoward advances and she had asked herself and had her maid, Aena, ask as well. He was one of the people who had arrived on their own at the Vigil in hopes of joining and his tale of being from South Reach had not checked out. They had given him the benefit of the doubt though as that area had been hard hit by the Blight. Her first instinct was that she did not want him to join her Order or at the very least be under her command as she did not trust him. She was not so naive to believe that every Warden would be an honourable knight and paragon of honesty and valour. The Order would need would need men and women of differing skills and abilities, be they mages, rogues or warriors; her own experiences during the Blight proved that. Among her companions Zevran, as an assassin who had been hired to kill her and Alistair, had at first seemed an unlikely companion but at his core he was a decent and honourable elf and that formed the base from which her trust and respect of him had grown. She did not get the same sense from Leito but, despite her misgivings, she allowed Robert and the senior Wardens to convince her to let him to undergo the ritual, bowing to their greater experience.

Kathryne stood in front of a table beside Laurence who acted as her second. Behind them was the silver chalice she had drank from and later recovered from Ostagar. The Wardens fanned out in a semi-circle before her with the three recruits standing alone in the middle.

"During the first Blight when all the people of Thedas stood on the brink of annihilation the first men and women of our Order drank of darkspawn blood and mastered their taint," Kathryne said solemnly before pausing to allow the recruits to register her words.

"It is the source of a Grey Warden's power and of our victory over the darkspawn." She felt like a hypocrite saying these words even though _she_ had not betrayed her oaths and had been prepared to die slaying the archdemon. "We only say a few words prior to the Joining but those words have been said since the first."

"Join us, brothers and sisters," Laurence began and his words were matched by the other Wardens in a chorus. "Join us in the shadows where we stand vigilant. Join us as we carry out the duty that cannot be forsworn. And should you perish, know that your sacrifice will not be forgotten. And that one day, we too shall join you."

Kathryne indicated for Leito to step forward after she had retrieved the chalice from the table. Leito had not moved and was looking around the room as if seeking an escape.

"Step forward Leito," Kathryne said. Leito took a step back.

"I'm not drinking darkspawn blood. You are all mad! Let me out of here," Leito screamed as he broke for the door before being met by the Wardens who pushed him back into the centre of the room. He pulled out a dagger.

Kathryne passed the chalice to Laurence. "Leito, step forward and submit to the Joining. There is no going back."

Leito took another quick look around and looking as if he had made a decision, he replaced his dagger in its sheath and took a small step forwards. Kathryne turned slightly to take the chalice from Laurence and suddenly Leito jumped at her, grabbing and twisting her arm and coming up with a dagger at her neck.

"Let me go and I swear that I will release her unharmed," Leito said in a panic.

"Recruit, you will lower that dagger or you will die here in this room," Kathryne commanded. "The only way out is to undergo the Joining."

Kathryne could feel his grip falter as the Wardens drew their weapons. She drove her head back into Leito's jaw as she grabbed at his wrist holding the blade at her throat. Her right leg stepped forward as she bent at the waist, pulling Leito forwards and flipping him over her back. Kathryne held onto his dagger hand and followed him down, bringing the dagger down pressed against Leito's throat.

"Will you undergo the Joining or do you die here?" she asked.

In response Leito stabbed the dagger into his own throat with a spray of blood. Horrified, she released his hand. Leito had not managed to kill himself and was gasping in obvious pain. Knowing that he had made his choice Kathryne removed the dagger and then drew it across his neck, severing the veins and giving Leito a quick and merciful death. Kathryne drew her fingertips across his eyelids, closing Leito's eyes. "I am sorry," she said before standing.

The Warden Commander took a cloth from the table and wiped the blood from her face. She then wiped the blood from his dagger and then bent down and crossed Leito's hands over it.

"Grey Warden's pay a heavy price to become what we are. We are keepers of a tremendous burden and responsibility to protect the innocent from the taint and corruption of the darkspawn. We do not ask you to undergo the Joining lightly or without due consideration of the sacrifices required as we have all made them as well. The Order seeks out the strong and the skilled not just because those are the ones most likely to survive the Joining but because we fight an enemy who is evil and bent on destroying all that is good." Kathryne paused for a moment before continuing, letting the memories and the fear she had felt at the time of her own Joining enter her voice. "In my own Joining, just before the battle at Ostagar where all of Ferelden's Grey Wardens save King Alistair and me were killed, I was the only recruit to survive. I watched as two others died before me and waited in fear for my turn not knowing if I would survive. I know...we all know what you are feeling right now, but I swear to you the Joining is necessary and that Grey Wardens are desperately needed." She took the Joining chalice from Laurence.

"Step forward Orik," Kathryne said as she held the chalice aloft before him. "From this moment onwards you are a Grey Warden."

Orik took the chalice and drank from it before passing it back. He coughed after he swallowed and began to choke. He raised his hands to his throat and began scratching, drawing blood. He fell backwards and looked up with eyes gone white and then the coughing stopped – he was dead.

"Maker bless and keep you," Laurence said quietly though all heard it.

"Ser Willem, I call upon you to submit yourself to the darkspawn taint," said the Commander. "From this moment forth you are a Grey Warden."

Willem turned to face the assembled Wardens and crossed his arms across his chest and bowed in salute. He turned and did the same for the two Warden Commanders and her second. The knight stepped forwards and confidently took the chalice from her hands, giving Kathryne a brief smile. "Whatever happens please know that it has been an honour my Lady." Willem held the chalice to his forehead for a moment and took a large gulp, finishing the liquid. The chalice fell from his hands as Willem collapsed to the floor. Willem convulsed for a few minutes as he battled the taint but finally his body grew still. Kathryne stepped forwards and knelt down beside the knight. She closed his eyelids over his lifeless white eyes. "The honour was mine Ser Willem. May the Maker bless and keep you."

Kathryne stood back up and watched as Wardens stepped forward to remove the bodies. While they had hoped that it wouldn't be needed Laurence had scouted a clear area in the surrounding forest where they could have a pyre and see the dead off. Robert came alongside her.

"I am sorry that your first Joining as Warden Commander did not fare better," Robert said compassionately as he squeezed her shoulder. "It is never easy to see a recruit die in the Joining and worse still to see one refuse to undergo the ritual. Your words to Orik and Ser Willem calmed and reassured them."

"I don't even know what I said to them," she admitted. "I can only pray that this wasn't an ill omen for the future." She watched as Ser Willem was carried out reverently.

"Does it ever get any easier?" Kathryne asked.

"No," Robert answered truthfully. "Except for the few he recruited, my predecessor never interacted in any way with a recruit until after they had survived the Joining. Personally, while I train with new recruits I tend to keep myself aloof from them as much as possible; it is too painful to come to know them and then watch them perish. There is no correct answer Kathryne. You must do what feels right to you and know that your fellow Wardens will support you."

Three mornings later and after their meal the Wardens returning to Orlais began to bring what few belongings they had brought or collected in Fereldan down in preparation of leaving the Vigil. Passage from the City of Amaranthine to Val Royeaux had already been arranged aboard _The Sea Wisp_. It had been then that Kathryne had received her first surprise – Robert had not packed to leave.

"Warden Commander Robert, where are your belongings for your trip home?" Kathryne asked.

"With your permission Commander I have decided to remain for a little while longer," Robert replied.

"Though I would be glad for your company and experience may I ask why?"

"I cannot explain it fully but I _know_ that I am needed here," Robert said with absolute certainty.

"Is it the darkspawn? I have had no dreams."

"No it is not darkspawn. Just a...sense that there is more for me to do here," Robert said. "There are over two hundred Wardens in Orlais and the Order is in good hands. Here in Ferelden while you have made great strides you have nowhere near the numbers if trouble comes."

"Are you certain you wish to do this? Surely you are needed in Val Royeaux."

"I am certain and have already spoken to Laurence and to Francois who will be carrying my instructions and reasons back for my second, Jacques. If nothing else it will test a few senior Wardens as to whether they ever want to command," Robert said with a chuckle, knowing that Kathryne too felt the burden of responsibility.

"Very well Commander, if you are absolutely certain...and can follow orders," Kathryne said with a smile.

Her other surprise was that unbidden the men and women of the Vigil had assembled in the courtyard to see the Wardens off. There had been a grand feast the previous night which everyone, even the kitchen staff, had attended to pay respects and say goodbye to the Wardens and wish them a safe journey home. The Orlesians, mindful of their suspicious greeting when they had arrived at the Vigil so many months ago, were clearly touched that they had been embraced by these people.

The procession of heavily armed Wardens marched to the city and to its docks without incident.

"Captain Roderick I trust that you will see these men safely home," Kathryne said after the final goodbyes. She had already asked around and the word was that The Sea Wisp was a fine ship and her captain was a fair and honest man.

"Of course my Lady," said the Captain of The Sea Wisp.

"May the Maker watch over The Sea Wisp and see that the she and all who travel aboard her have a safe and uneventful journey and return to their homes and loved ones," said Leliana to general agreement and thanks.

* * *

_Again I just want to thank everyone who has read, reviewed and/or put this story on alert, it is humbling. This and the next few chapters have taken a long time to write as I struggled with the best way to get from A to Z but I think I've got it now._


	20. Chapter 20

Sorry for the long delay between chapters. Major PC Problems combined with my own stupidity resulted in some lost data and a few chapters that needed to be rewritten. Thanks for reading.

* * *

Chapter Twenty

Kathryne rode through the outer gates of Highever Castle with her hound Sarim keeping pace at her side. She handed the reins of her horse to one of the stable boys, Peter if she remembered correctly, and after a quick exchange with the officer on duty entered the castle.

As she had watched the three dead recruits lying on the floor after their unsuccessful Joining Kathryne had decided that she had to come back and speak to Fergus about Alistair. While she had not felt to be in any real danger from Leito, what with being in a room full of armed Wardens, it had reminded her of the violent and dangerous life she now led. At just over twenty she certainly hoped for another thirty years or so of life but only the Maker knew for certain when her time would come. Fergus had tip-toed around the subject of Alistair and had been put off to an extent, but he deserved to know as much of the truth as she could give him rather than hear about it second-hand from another. The truth might also spare him some embarrassment should he decide to confront Alistair himself.

The Warden Commander entered the main hall to see Fergus in discussions with a soldier dressed in Highever livery. Her brother looked impressive and in control and certainly mother and father would have been proud to see the Teryn he had become. She leaned against the wall and watched, not wanting to interrupt. During a pause in their conversation Fergus noted her presence.

"Sister, welcome back you have excellent timing, a most serious matter has come up," said the Teryn.

"How can I be of assistance your Grace?" Kathryne said as she approached.

"Let me introduce our guest first; this is Private Walling," Fergus said as he indicated the soldier before him. "He has travelled here from Stone's Throw requesting our assistance with a threat to our lands."

"Is it darkspawn?" Kathryne asked instantly wary.

"We are uncertain my Lady," Private Walling answered, seemingly intimidated to be speaking to her. "We received some reports from the locals that some livestock had been killed or had gone missing. Sergeant MacKay led out teams to patrol the countryside to determine the cause. As we moved across the land we discovered that two families had been slaughtered. It could be the work of darkspawn or possibly bandits, I do not have the experience to say. Sergeant MacKay sent me here to notify his Lordship and seek reinforcements. "

Kathryne looked away from the private, mentally drawing a map if Highever and its surrounding lands. Stone's Throw was one of the garrisons dotting the land and was so named because it was almost literally a stone's throw away from the edge of their lands. It sat in the south-western corner, near both the bannorn and the highlands that separated Highever from West Hill. It protected valuable land for farming and livestock and had in the past provided advance warning of attack. It was possible that this was the work of bandits working with the backing of a bann, whose lands had suffered during the Blight or through disputes with neighbours, or even their own mismanagement. There had been no reports of darkspawn sightings anywhere nearby when she had left the Vigil, but as they came up from underground she could not discount them.

A few of the smaller Banns had fought against one another during the Blight and in the immediate aftermath of their victory, using the distraction of the Crown and the need for the army in clearing the darkspawn to advance their fortunes at another's expense. It had reminded her too much of Howe and his attack upon Highever and for a moment she had been tempted to settle all the disputes herself at the end of her sword. Their actions had supposedly ended when King Alistair along with the most prominent nobles, the Teryn, Arls, Arlessas and many of the more important Banns , had threatened to become involved to end all disputes and relieve those parties of their land and titles. Truces were declared and all grievances were to be held until the next Landsmeet which would surely be a long and lively one. It was a heavy-handed solution and they all knew it, but with their scarce resources needed to rebuild and restore Ferelden and the very real threat that fighting in the Bannorn could restart the civil war it was agreed upon.

As Kathryne thought to herself she looked behind Fergus' head and had to force herself not to laugh aloud. There sitting on a wooden shield bearing the Cousland standard was the late Arl Howe's axe that she had given Fergus, its face with the Howe family crest clearly visible. A bronze plaque had been affixed to the shield which said '_A Cousland always does her duty.' _ An obvious and not so subtle reminder to any who would wish her family harm that they would never forget and that justice would be served. Fergus noticed where her gaze fell and gave her a slight smile.

Plans were quickly hatched to set out at first light for Stone's Throw with Sarim remaining behind.

…

They made good time to Stone's Throw and quickly set out to investigate the attacks. The first farm whose occupants had been murdered bore the signs of darkspawn taint. The only saving grace was that the mother and teenage daughter had been killed and not taken away to become broodmothers – better to be dead than suffer that fate. After telling Fergus and his accompanying men the nature of the attack the house and it was put to the torch. The same was done at the second farm which had suffered a similar fate. Factoring in the timing and direction of the attacks, along with the aid of Sergeant Mackay, they set out on an easterly course skirting the bannorn. Hopefully their path would bring them near enough to the band of darkspawn so that Kathryne could sense them and fix their position.

As they continued down the dirt road Kathryne felt the familiar burning in her blood that signalled nearby darkspawn. She slowed her horse and concentrated to determine their location and number.

"Hold, I sense the darkspawn taint over this way," she said as she gestured to the north-east.

"There is a farmhold in that direction," said the sergeant.

"Let's move it men," Fergus said as his urged his horse onwards.

Their party slowed as they neared the homestead and saw that it was too late. The few cows and goats they saw had all been killed and partially eaten in a senseless orgy of violence. The Warden Commander could sense one being that while not darkspawn still bore their taint inside the house.

"There is darkspawn taint in the house. Wait here while I investigate alone as I am immune," she commanded while reminding her brother and the soldiers of their own risk. She got down from her horse and approached the front door. The Warden Commander would do her duty and prevent the spread of the taint, but while necessary it was among the least honourable and most challenging of the many unpleasant tasks a Warden performed. She wanted no one to bear witness to both her deeds and her pain and doing so.

The door was battered and seemed to be barely holding on its hinges. She drew her sword before reaching for the door handle – it was locked. Kathryne pulled her shield from her back and quickly strapped it on before forcing the door open using shield and shoulder. The Commander entered in the front room which contained four simple chairs arranged around a well used table that served for dining and food preparation. A small counter ran along the wall for their kitchen and on the opposite side there was a threadbare rug with two chairs facing the fireplace. The fireplace had been allowed to burn out and the only light was provided by the two small windows and the flames from her sword's runes. The stench of death was overpowering and she could feel the bile rise in her throat. A faint chewing noise could be heard so moved deeper inside.

To the end of her days what Kathryne saw would remain with her and haunt her dreams. A man lay out on the floor, dead but showing signs of corruption. His wife was huddled next to him and was bent over the wound in his chest and was feasting on his flesh. At the Commander's approach the ghoulish woman had turned to face her, strings of blood and torn flesh hanging from her mouth. With an inhuman growl the corrupted woman sprang to her feet and with wild abandon rushed Kathryne.

Kathryne squared herself as the ghoul came towards her and with one swing of Starfang nearly cleaved the corrupted woman in two. She stepped over the ghoul towards her dead husband and bent down to investigate. He had a deep sword wound that ran diagonally down from his chest and ending just above his trousers. The wound's edges were blackened by the taint implying that this man had probably went outside when he heard the panic of his animals as the darkspawn approached and been wounded. He made it back inside either through his own power or with the aid of his wife and locked the door. At his sides she could see torn, bloody bandages that had once covered his wound. No doubt his loving wife had bandaged her husband and had attempted to provide whatever healing and comfort she could before she too had succumbed to the taint. They must have been in such fear as the darkspawn slaughtered their animals and pounded on the door to get inside, all while the man lay bleeding from a mortal wound.

The Commander rose and opened the door to what would be the couple's bedroom at the back of the house. Kathryne entered the room, lit by two more windows, and stopped when she saw the crib beside the bed.

_Please Maker let the child be alive and untainted, _she prayed to herself as she approached the crib.

She pulled aside the blanket and her heart sank. The baby, a little girl dressed in a pink wool jumper and who was perhaps no more than a few months old, was stone cold. The innocent little girl showed signs of the taint and had hopefully died quickly; her little body would have easily succumbed to that poison.

Kathryne could feel the tears well up in her eyes as she stared at yet another innocent life lost to the darkspawn. It was never easy to see men and women fall to the taint but it was infinitely worse to see it claim one just beginning her life. This baby girl would never get to take her first steps, grow up to become a woman, fall in love and one day have a child of her own. Kathryne had made a kind of peace with the sacrifices that came with being a Grey Warden, but seeing this innocent baby dead from the darkspawn taint drove the reality of her own inability to have a child into her with such force that she fell to her knees and wept.

Her parents had been willing to accommodate Kathryne's desire to find a husband who loved her for herself and not the dowry and status she would bring, even though her mother had often pressured her to marry and have children. Kathryne had been content to wait until she found the right man, knowing that she was only just a woman and had many years ahead of her to have a child. Fate, Rendon Howe and the Joining ceremony had destroyed that dream. Her duty, honour and inability to conceive had forced her to give up the man she loved. She would watch as Alistair married someone else and that woman would have the child that she could not give him.

Kathryne wept for the innocent little girl before her and the child, that in a perfect world, she would have born Alistair. In her mind she could see that phantom boy, Prince Duncan Bryce Theirin, combining the best parts of her and Alistair. Her little prince would have the seeds of Alistair's strength and compassion along with his hair, nose and build. He would have the penetrating Cousland eyes, brow and jaw line which ran strong in her family. Prince Duncan would share his parent's sense of duty, honour and bravery and would grow up to lead Ferelden in a golden age. The Commander had no idea how long she knelt by the crib and wept for this lost baby girl and her little prince never to be.

"Kathryne are you alright?" Fergus quietly asked as he laid a hand on her shoulder. He had seen the tainted baby and the two bodies in the outer room and knew that his sister had slain the corrupted woman. His sister looked up at him and he could see her puffy, red eyes and the tracks of her tears.

"You shouldn't be in her Fergus, this place is tainted," the Commander replied.

"You've been in here for some time and I was worried. Come let us leave this place and find the demons that did this," Fergus said, his anger and contempt causing his voice to rise. He put his hands under her arms and helped Kathryne to her feet.

As they got back to the front door Kathryne told Fergus that she had to do something before she left and for him to wait outside. Fergus stood in the doorway and watched as his sister dragged the corrupted woman back to her husband and set both of them into a peaceful pose with the pair holding hands. He watched as Kathryne went to the bedroom and returned with the blanket containing the dead child and placed it between the two adults. They left the house and Fergus ordered it burned as he walked his sister over to the well to wash the blood off her.

With the smoke from the burning homestead behind them they rode off to locate and kill the darkspawn band plaguing the area.

It was after they had stopped for their midday meal that Kathryne again felt the burning sensation in her blood. She kicked her horse's flanks and urged him on towards the enemy, not even caring if the others were behind her.

Once she was close enough she jumped from her horse and tore into the darkspawn like an avenging spirit sent by the Maker himself. As the battle progressed Kathryne did something that she had never done before, she gave herself up fully to her anger and rage. She thought of the tainted people she had seen and most especially the baby girl. She attacked with brutal fury and savagery and it was only when the battle was won and she almost attacked Fergus that she came to her senses. She looked at the pile of darkspawn corpses lying around her, then at Fergus and promptly turned and threw up. Kathryne was shaking like this was her first battle and she vowed that never again would she give in to her anger and lose herself like that. Right now she wanted nothing more than for her brother to hold and comfort her but the darkspawn blood on both their armours prevented that.

"I'm sorry Fergus. All I could think about was that baby girl dead from their taint and I lost myself," Kathryne apologized.

"I know pup. I know. I thought of that baby girl myself."

They spent two more days patrolling the land near Stone's Throw to ensure that there would be no more attacks and Kathryne promised that once she returned to Highever she would send a messenger to Vigil's Peak to send a patrol of Wardens to do another sweep.

...

Fergus knocked on the door to his sister's rooms. He had been concerned about her ever since the battle with the darkspawn band, she had been so withdrawn. He had heard the stories from during the Blight and knew that the family in the last homestead was one more horrific thing that his sister had seen in a young life that had already seen far too much.

Even as children he remembered Kathryne as always being fierce in the protection of others, especially the weak and innocent. He thought back to when he was sixteen and she ten and their parents had taken them to Denerim for a Landsmeet. His parents had been hosting a small saloon prior to the Landsmeet and many of the nobles had brought their children. He and a pack of other noble sons around his age had returned to the Cousland estate from prowling the market district. They were puffed up little fools, sure of their rank and the 'honour and privilege' it bestowed. He had left his friends to retrieve something from his room and came back to find his sister standing before Deanna, a young elven servant whose parents also worked at the estate, with her wooden practice dagger drawn. A tray of glasses lay broken on the floor, their contents pooled at everyone's feet. His sister showed no fear as she faced off against Vaughn Kendalls, the Arl of Denerim's son who was five years older than her and almost twice her size.

"_You will apologize to Deanna right now for purposely bumping into and then threatening her," Kathryne said in an icy tone._

"_It's not my fault she is a stupid knife eared cow who can't even manage to carry a tray," Vaughn replied._

"_Apologize right now of I swear to the Maker I will beat you and then tell our parents." Her tone, body language and the fierceness of her eyes made her intentions evident. Even at that young age she was already a terror on the practice field, but it would never come to a fight as no one would be so foolish to fight his little sister either in front of Fergus or with their parents nearby._

"_I am sorry," Vaughn said through gritted teeth after some tense laughter. Now with the benefit of experience and hindsight he could see that the glare Vaughn had given his sister had been one of absolute hate for embarrassing him. His sister had later told what had happened and that was the last day Fergus palled around with Vaughn, now hung for the crime of the rape and murder of an elven woman and her bridal party on her wedding day._

Fergus knocked again. He could hear Sarim inside and a servant had spoken to Kathryne to call her for supper so he knew she was inside.

"Kathryne are you feeling well? Even before becoming a Warden I rarely saw you not at the dinner table." The door opened and he went inside.

He sat down in the chair across from his sister and just looked at her as he tried to decide where to start.

"I killed that woman in the last homestead. She was tainted and had become a ghoul, little different from the darkspawn," Kathryne said quietly.

"I know. The person she once was would not have wanted to live like that - you did her favour," Fergus said reassuringly. He ran his fingers through his hair. "If only we had gotten their earlier."

"The old stories Brother Aldous would tell us of Grey Wardens burning entire villages to prevent them from falling into darkspawn hands are true. That was not the first tainted person I have slain though I pray that it is the last. Since I became a Warden I have done things that I am not proud of for the noblest of reasons.

"I woke up the night Howe attacked never having killed anyone before and now I close my eyes and all I see is a parade of souls I have sent to their deaths. I am barely a woman and already I have seen enough for two lives. I have lost...given up so much. Where does it end Fergus?"

"I don't know. Perhaps you need some time away from the Wardens. Maybe a trip to Denerim? I am certain that King Alistair would welcome and comfort you. You both have shared many of the same experiences and doubts."

"You know don't you?"

"I only suspect – I can see the way he looks at you."

"I love Alistair Fergus, with all my heart. We grew close during our travels and for a time I thought that we would be together forever."

Fergus moved from his chair and knelt before his sister having only paid attention to the first of her words. "That's wonderful Kathryne. Mother and Father would be so happy."

"Fergus," she said sharply. "I cannot be with Alistair. I have refused his marriage proposal."

"What? Why?"

"If both the King and Queen are Grey Wardens there would be those among the Bannorn who would oppose every royal initiative claiming outside influence from the Wardens and Orlais. Even the most compassionate and benign efforts would be dragged through their muck and tainted with innuendo. Loghain is dead but he was not the only one with hate in his heart and a resounding fear of Orlais."

"You are a Cousland. You killed the archdemon and saved us all. No one would dare."

"That was months ago Fergus and as time passes it will be easier for some to forget." Kathryne paused for a moment, steeling herself for what she had to say. "There is another reason as well that I refused Alistair. We have already seen what can happen when a king dies without an heir. Alistair will need to quickly marry and produce a child and because of joining the Wardens I am unlikely to ever have a child of my own and certainly not with another Grey Warden."

"What? You're barren!" Fergus said hotly as he stood. His initial reaction was a furious anger at the Grey Wardens for doing this to his sister. Had there been any Warden's in the castle he might have even attacked them, he was in such a rage. He quickly calmed himself knowing that his sister needed his support and not his anger, but it simmered on the surface.

Kathryne would have been a tremendous mother, any child couldn't have asked for finer. He remembered when Oren when born and Kathryne first held him in her arms. For all her hard exterior, that he knew was only to earn the respect of others and be treated as an equal, his sister was full of love and had someday wanted a child of her own. She had looked so perfect and natural holding little Oren and had been a great aunt to him, not to mention her assistance to Oriana who had been a sister to her. Thinking of his wife and son brought the familiar pang of grief over their loss but he pushed it aside. A small part of Fergus had also hoped that his sister could provide an heir to Highever as he wasn't certain that he could ever remarry.

"The sacrifices of a Grey Warden are necessary even though they are painful," said Kathryne.

"You're defending them even though they took this from you?"

"I've made peace with my life. I cannot live in the past and wonder what-if. What is is and can't be changed. I have to make the best of my circumstances and carry on. I would ask that you respect my decision."

Fergus looked at his sister and he could see her pain and how much it cost her to tell him of it. At times Kathryne was her own worst enemy. She took too much on herself and internalized her deepest feelings. She was always pleasant and at times jovial, but she put others first and rarely let her true feelings show and only then in the company of people she trusted. He wished his parents were here; Mother would have the proper words to comfort her and Father would find a solution. Not knowing what else to do Fergus wrapped his arms around her and pulled her close. He could hear her sobs as she cried against him.

...

Needing some time to herself Kathryne aimlessly walked the streets of Highever. She warmly greeted those who stopped her but most left her alone perhaps sensing that she did not want to be disturbed. Her feet carried her to the Chantry and after telling Sarim to wait outside she entered. While she believed in the Maker and tried to live her life accordingly, Kathryne had not been in a Chantry without some other reason since before the Blight. She sat down on one of the pews away from any others to be alone with her thoughts. She was uncertain how long she had been sitting there before she heard a voice interrupting her solitude.

"My Lady, I am sorry to interrupt you but I am leaving shortly for Denerim and I have news for you. I was just preparing to leave for the castle to speak to you," said Knight-Commander Stephen.

Kathryne followed the templar back to his office and listened and read as he gave her the reports of a raven-haired apostate with golden eyes spotted in the south. She left the Chantry with a renewed sense of purpose, certain that Morrigan had been found and she would soon have some answers or the witch would die by her hand.


	21. Chapter 21

Chapter Twenty-One

The Teryn of Highever stood high upon the battlements of the castle looking out over the surrounding countryside with a melancholy heart. He cursed himself for waiting a day before sending out the scouts and riders to search for his sister, so certain was he that Kathryne had just needed some time alone and would return shortly. It had been almost a week now and still there was no word.

His eyes looked to the road up from the town and even from this distance he could see the fiery red hair that marked Leliana, his sister's closest friend, among the approaching riders. He carefully scanned the riders, searching for the telltale markers of his sister: her dark hair, her form and grace, evident even when riding. He sighed at their absence; he had hoped that Kathryne had returned to Vigil's Keep.

Fergus entered the castle and walked towards his study, now converted to oversee the task of finding his sister. Large maps of Highever and Ferelden that hung on the walls were now joined by others spread upon the Teryn's desk. The brief missives from his scouts providing their progress, or lack thereof, and future search plans were stacked neatly and sorted by geography – his training overcoming his worry. It wasn't long before he heard the knock and in walked Leliana and four others, all Wardens among them Robert.

Despite it being against every protocol Leliana quickly approached and embraced Fergus fiercely. He loved her for it, it was such a simple and honest act of friendship and shared concern and it touched him deeply.

"Do not worry your Grace, we will find her."

"Thank you Leliana."

Fergus led them through his efforts at locating Kathryne, where he had sent his scouts and their progress, referencing the maps with coloured markers indicating searched areas. He outlined their next steps and when finished asked if they had any suggestions.

"Have you spoken to everyone who last saw Kathryne before she disappeared?" Leliana asked.

"Almost, there is one missing," Fergus said. "Kathryne spoke privately to Knight Commander Stephen before she left. Unfortunately, the Knight Commander has left for Denerim and while I have sent riders to Denerim to find him I have yet to hear from them."

"Would his second know anything of what they discussed?" Robert asked.

"He says not. Apparently my sister and the Knight Commander have developed a friendship and she would often speak with him."

There was something there that didn't make sense thought Leliana. While she knew that Kathryne believed strongly in the Maker, her views of the templars were less charitable. She respected their devotion to their duty, but it was a duty she abhorred. She believed that mages who have become abominations and corrupted by demons needed to be killed, but that not every mage should suffer as a result of the possibility he or she might turn. Certainly a mage needed to be taught to control their power and best resist the influence of demons. To her the issue was whether that was best accomplished by locking them up and surrounding them with armoured men sworn to kill them at the slightest provocation.

The meeting continued for a time before breaking with the Wardens heading to the dining hall.

"Robert, can I have a moment?" Fergus asked after everyone had stood and begun to exit.

"Of course."

Leliana was the last to exit the study and as she began to close the door her senses screamed at her not to leave. She left the door a crack and waited just outside.

"My sister told me about her relationship with the king and she says they cannot be together."

"It is unfortunate Fergus when two hearts find each other and yet are held apart," Robert answered. He was uncertain what Kathryne would have said to her brother and began to stall for time. "Certainly as you know most noble marriages are less about a heart's desires than politics and wealth. Likewise being a Grey Warden is a life of sacrifice, our sacred duty denies us many of the freedoms we fight for."

Robert did not see the punch to his stomach that doubled him over; he did see but was unable to avoid the punch that hit like a hammer to his jaw. He also saw the chair that broke under his sudden weight as his body collapsed to the floor.

"She told me you bastards made her barren!" Fergus screamed at Robert. "What did you do to her?"

Fergus' advance on the Orlesian Warden Commander was halted as Leliana stood before him, struggling to push him back.

"Let me go Leliana. You don't know what the Wardens did to her. What they took from her!"

Robert shook his head to clear the cobwebs. Fergus hit like an ogre, especially when the target is unsuspecting. In his time here in Ferelden he had come to know and like Fergus, he was an honourable and dutiful man with a deep love of family and friends – just like his sister. He had suffered and lost much and now his sister, his sole remaining family, was missing and it was clear it was tearing him apart. Highever's Teryn looked angry enough to kill him with his bare hands and was physically capable of it. Robert had to quickly decide what was in the best interests of both his Order and his two friends; the man in pain before him and the missing woman somewhere out there.

"Take a seat and I will tell you both _all_ that we did to your sister," Robert said as he stood up. "But first I must have your word from you both that you will never speak of this to another and will take all that is said here to your grave. I do not jest, I am about to share Grey Warden secrets that are known only among those of my Order and we will kill to protect our secrets."

With oaths given Robert began to speak. In greater depth and in more frightening detail than Kathryne had told Leliana and Wynne months ago outside Denerim Robert told the secrets of the Grey Wardens. He spoke of the Joining, of drinking the blood of darkspawn and archdemon, and taking in their taint, their poison. Robert spoke of the physical changes, the increased appetite and stamina and the reduced fertility. He shared some of the dreams that plague all Wardens and that later in life tells that it is time to go to the Deep Roads and die alone fighting darkspawn.

By the time he was done Robert was physically and mentally exhausted and his two listeners were both in tears. Fergus who at the beginning had been full of righteous fury now looked despondent and small.

"Do you think my sister...Kathryne would have gone to the Deep Roads?" Fergus asked though didn't believe.

"No," Robert answered quickly. "I do think it prudent that we send a messenger just in case, but I do not think it in keeping with her character. She has too much of a sense of duty to just give up like that."

_Duty - _The word seemed to hang in the air before Leliana almost like a physical thing. She rolled it over in her thoughts. The friendship with the Knight Commander – Duty. She circled them around each other looking for the connection and thinking of little else.

"We need to go to the Chantry right now," Leliana said suddenly, interrupting the two men. "We must look at the Knight Commander's office." She stood and quickly walked out of the study, questions were asked but set on her task she ignored them.

After some discussion with the Reverend Mother, they entered the Knight Commander's office along with his second Ser Grant.

"Is this the way Ser Stephen left it?" Leliana asked. With an affirmative answer she began to glance through the papers on his desk. There was nothing worthwhile here.

"Do you keep records of apostate sightings?"

"Yes my Lady," Ser Grant answered and opened a chest filled with ledgers and vellum.

Leliana pulled out the topmost ledger and a few scrolls. "Do you track only those apostates in your territory or does it matter where an apostate is found?"

"As the main Chantry in this territory we are responsible for the entire terynir and will occasionally receive word from other templars when tracking an apostate through here."

Leliana scanned the ledger, no good. She moved onto the scrolls quickly noticing a trend that became more pronounced as she grabbed more scrolls from the chest – a raven haired woman with golden eyes.

"Morrigan," the bard said softly.

"What was that?" both Fergus and Robert asked.

"Morrigan, the witch how travelled with us during the Blight and fled before the final battle. I believe that Kathryne has gone after her."

Together they quickly reviewed and recorded all of the sightings, from Dragon's Peak to South Reach to Lothering, of a dark haired apostate and once back in Fergus' study established a projected path.

"Knowing Kathryne she will head down to Ostagar to check if Morrigan has returned to her home. I doubt that she would do so, but it is possible and Kathryne is not an experienced tracker," Leliana said while looking at large map on the wall.

"Why would she return to Ostagar?" Robert asked.

Leliana told them the legend of Flemeth and the story, as relayed to her, of Kathryne and Alistair's initial visit with Morrigan and her mother Flemeth, the rescue of the two Wardens from the Tower of Ishal and later the death of Flemeth at Morrigan's behest.

"She plotted to kill her own mother?" Robert asked, disgusted at the thought.

"Remember Flemeth was possessed by a demon and intended to take Morrigan's body and power for herself and in the process killing her daughter," Leliana answered. "Even though we killed her Morrigan doubted that Flemeth was truly dead and that is why I do not think she will return there."

"Do you know why she would go after her?" Fergus said.

"No, she has mentioned nothing to me. Out of our companions Kathryne was closest to Morrigan, with the witch even calling her sister and yet Morrigan still fled before the final battle. It must have hurt her more than I thought. If she truly is tracking Morrigan we should go to the Circle and see if Wynne will help us."

"We'll leave first thing in the morning," said Fergus.

Leliana and Robert shared a look before the Orlesian Warden Commander spoke. "Fergus, you are needed here to protect and govern your lands. I swear to you that I will return with your sister or else die trying."

Fergus looked in the other man's eyes, his father's voice ringing in his ears – _A Cousland always does his duty_. "I have your word?"

"You do your Grace," Robert answered.

The Warden Commander and bard both knew what it was costing the Teryn to stay behind rather than lead the search for his sister and neither was prepared to disappoint him. Just as certain was their respective commitment to Kathryne and each said a silent vow to safely return with her.


	22. Chapter 22

Chapter Twenty-Two

Kathryne drove herself without mercy after her prey, fully committed to finding Morrigan above all else and at last getting answers to the questions that plagued her. She wanted to know why someone who called her sister would betray her trust and friendship and go to Alistair with her damnable ritual after she refused. Was her desire for a child with the soul and power of an Old God so great that the witch would destroy everything to get it? Kathryne had thought she knew Morrigan and ever since she had awakened after slaying the Archdemon she was forced to wonder whether she had ever truly known the witch. Did Morrigan not understand that Alistair had tainted his reign as King of Ferelden before it had even properly begun?

She had thought Morrigan changed by experiencing the world outside the Wilds and by having friends who relied on her and who in turn she could rely on – in short by having a truer family than Flemeth had ever been. Without her mother around to poison her Morrigan had a chance at a new life and yet she had thrown it away.

Days became weeks and soon more than a month had passed and yet still she rode as if the Archdemon itself was chasing her. Deep down she knew the reason why. Kathryne knew that it was within her power to kill Morrigan, and even if it damned her before the Maker she was prepared to kill a pregnant woman rather than risk a reborn Archdemon and renewed Blight, but could she kill a newborn babe? She was not so certain and pushed herself accordingly to avoid having to answer. She knew her time was running out.

With Sarim at her side she rode, following the reports of the dark-haired apostate, from Dragons Peak to Lothering, all while cursing the templars for their slow reporting. Kathryne stopped to investigate each report, confirming details and ensuring she was on the right path. She followed a few false leads and berated herself as she quickly backtracked. The Warden rode hard, stopping only when absolutely necessary to rest and care for her mabari and horse. At times she did not even bother to setup a proper camp, instead sleeping with her arms wrapped around her hound and her cloak covering them both. Kathryne ate when her stomach's growls became loud and cursed herself for never properly learning to cook as most meals were barely finished before she vomited them back up. She had begun to feel sick before leaving Vigil's Keep last and as the days passed it only seemed to grow worse. The Warden knew she should either seek out a healer or else rest for a few days but her time was short and her mind stronger than her body.

She rode south to the Korcari Wilds and the hut where she first met Morrigan's mother, Flemeth. The hut, while empty, was not as desolate as one would expect had it been empty since their final battle with the 'Witch of the Wilds' almost a year ago. It did not have the musky smell of neglect or the layer of dust that comes from disuse, but rather smelt faintly of herbs and looked as though the owner had just stepped outside. The exterior, while never resembling a well-tended garden, did not look so overgrown and chaotic as her mother's garden back in Highever would after even a week of neglect, nor did the swamp show signs of encroaching. While it was possible that the hut and surrounding land were enchanted by Flemeth her templar abilities did not detect anything.

Feeling confident that someone had spent some time here Kathryne rode further south seeking out the Dalish in their new homeland for news. It took two long days before she found Dalish scouts who brought her to Lanaya, Keeper of the clan her group had met in the Brecilian Forest during the Blight. Lanaya confirmed that a raven-haired woman matching Morrigan's description had indeed been living in the old hut, but had left around two months ago heading west. While anxious to be on her way, knowing that she was a guest of the Dalish and that as Warden Commander she would again call upon them to look for recruits, Kathryne stayed the day and night and in truth was better for it.

The Dalish had already made great strides in constructing permanent homes though many still slept in aravels. Kathryne thought it would be rude to ask whether this was by choice. Certainly if she had spent her entire life sleeping in an aravel and living a nomadic life it would be hard to settle down in one spot. Lanaya informed her that some clans were still travelling the land either spreading the word that the Dalish now had a homeland or else not fully trusting that they would not be driven from yet another place. They both knew it would take time and a lot of hard work. In Kathryne's experience the Dalish were a proud and honourable people but they were slow to trust. However, she knew Alistair's intentions and commitment were good and hoped the Dalish were not too stubborn to seize the opportunity he had given them.

That night she ate with Lanaya and a few of her fellow Keepers and the meal was easily the best she could remember. They shared news and spoke of the future and the Keepers though warning her against confronting one of the daughters of Asha'belannar, the woman of many years, their name for Flemeth did not try to stop her. The morning of her departure after her usual bout of nausea, Lanaya, with a sympathetic smile provided her with some root herbs to calm her stomach.

The Commander made excellent time back to Flemeth's hut and then began heading west into the hinterlands and then into the southern Frostbacks and Honnleath.

As she approached the village of Honnleath Kathryne was again reminded of her first impressions of the place – that of a devastated and burned out shell of a town. The village had been hit hard by the darkspawn and she wasn't sure if anyone still remained. It took a hardy and intrepid person to live in such a remote locale, but could they overcome the memories of their near annihilation?

With her hand near the hilt of her sword and Sarim at her side Kathryne rode slowly up the path to the village proper, trying not to remember the mutilated bodies that had once hung like gruesome decorations from the lampposts. The closer she came to the centre of town the less derelict the homes looked, certainly a good sign that someone yet remained.

She moved to the small patch of grass where the golem Shale had once stood. While she did not see anyone the hair on the back of her neck stood on end and Kathryne felt certain that she was being watched.

"Village of Honnleath," she yelled. "I am Warden Commander Kathryne Cousland; one of the travellers who fought the darkspawn that invaded your home and trapped you behind a magical barrier in Wilhelm's now his son Matthias' cellar. I left Honnleath with the golem Shale who once stood in this very spot." She heard the rustle of activity yet no one stepped into the open. "I am alone and mean you no harm. I am here seeking word of a fellow traveller, a raven-haired woman heavy with child."

With the last of her words the adult residents of Honnleath came into view brandishing a few blades and sharpened wooden staves. Kathryne knew she did not look the part of Warden Commander. She was covered in dust and dirt and wearing a simple set of silverite splintmail that even though of good quality showed the neglect of her hard journey and many nights slept in. The villagers likely feared she was the vanguard for bandits rather than what she claimed. The Commander let them approach, silently praying that the residents would have the sense not to force her hand. She would not attack them, but she would defend herself.

"How do we know you aren't some bandit come to rob us of what little we have?" a man asked.

"Would a bandit come alone and know the details of the two Grey Wardens and their companions who came to your village in time of need?" Kathryne replied. "If he still resides in this village find Matthias who no doubt will remember me. My friends and I rescued his daughter Amalia from a demon disguised as a cat in his father's summoning chamber."

Her words had the intended effect as the villagers seemed to relax slightly, at least to the point where they no longer had their weapons pointed at her and Sarim.

"Remain where you are, Matthias will be here shortly," a gruff looking man said.

"Certainly ser, I have nothing to hide," the Commander replied. "If it is alright I am going to get down from my horse?"

Several minutes passed before Matthias emerged from the door to his cellar. No doubt the children and those not fit or able to defend the village were behind the barrier and safe.

"Put your weapons down. This is one of the Wardens who saved our village."

"Thank you Matthias. Have you had many problems with bandits?"

"A few after the darkspawn were defeated but nothing for some time. We did learn our lesson from them. Even though a few have left, we won't be driven from our homes."

The Commander was led to the village's stable while Matthias returned to his cellar and as she had thought soon a steady stream of children and adults exited. Now that the 'danger' had passed the village came alive again and Kathryne was surrounded by people seeking news. Knowing she was a Warden their interests primarily concerned the ending of the Blight. Kathryne told the village the highlights and in turn the villagers spoke of their rebuilding efforts and confirmed that darkspawn had not been seen in the area since the last time she was here. They were slowly rebuilding the village and had left the burned outskirts intact in hopes of discouraging curious passersby.

Kathryne graciously accepted Matthias' offer of a meal and a night's rest even though she would have preferred to get her answers and move on. She cleaned herself up while a few of the prominent villagers arrived and joined them to eat. After the dishes were cleared the adults sat around the table to talk while Amalia sat on the floor beside them playing with Sarim. Even though he was a fearsome slayer of darkspawn Sarim had always been a gentle soul around children.

"They said you were seeking a pregnant woman," Matthias asked.

"Yes, a raven-haired woman with golden eyes who is quite beautiful and should be about seven months pregnant." Kathryne thought of how best to describe the witch. While Morrigan always showed disdain for templars surely for the sake of the child she carried the witch would have taken steps to avoid being recognized as an apostate. Also in her state she hopefully no longer wore the same tacky and revealing clothes. "She may be carrying a mage's staff and most likely would be dressed in rather shabby looking black robes. Her name is Morrigan and she was one of my companions who came to Honnleath during the Blight, but I don't think she would mention it and likely took steps to avoid being recognized."

"Why are you looking for her?"

"She and the child's father had a falling out and she fled," Kathryne said, trying to sound compassionate. "I am concerned for her safety if danger should come to her. In her condition she shouldn't be alone." The Commander hated how quickly the lie sprang to mind and how easily the words were spoken.

"We don't get many visitors nowadays. There was one about a month or so ago," a woman who had been introduced as Stephanie said. She pursed her lips as if trying to remember. "I don't rightly recall what she looks like. Do you remember Peter?"

"She looked like...she was...no I don't remember."

Everyone present remembered a visitor though there was some disagreement over whether the traveller was indeed a woman. More interestingly, no one could remember any details of what the visitor looked like – powerful magic was at work.

"I know what she looked like," Amalia said, looking up from petting Sarim.

"Hush child," someone said. Kathryne held her hand up for the girl to continue.

"I was playing with Jesper and I saw her," Amalia said, looking pleased that she knew more than anyone else.

Kathryne left her chair and sat down on the floor beside the girl. "What did she look like Amalia?"

"It was the lady you're looking for. She had black hair and gold eyes and I thought I remembered her. It was the mean lady you were here with before."

"Are you sure?"

"Yes, I remember." The child's face took on a haunted look as she thought back to that day. Almost being possessed by a desire demon definitely was something that would be burned into the young girl's memory.

Kathryne gently took Amalia's hands in her own. "Do you know which way the mean lady went after she left the village?" She watched as the girl closed her eyes and scrunched her face in concentration.

"That way," Amalia said, pointing to the north-west.

Kathryne looked to the adults seeking confirmation. Far to the north-west lay the village of Haven and the Temple of Andraste but Morrigan would never go there.

"There's nothing that way," Peter said. "About two days out you come to a mountain forest and after that some rocky plateaus. There's nothing out there but mountain goats and wolves. Even the Avvar don't go there anymore."

"She would go there figuring no one could find her." The Commander was certain that Morrigan would want the safety of isolation to give birth and get the baby's strength up before she left for her final destination. As much as she complained about the wilderness it was where the witch felt most comfortable.

"It's hard travelling – you won't be able to take your horse."

"I will see to the horse's care," Matthias said.

"Thank you," the Warden said to Peter and Matthias before returning her gaze to the girl. "And thank you Amalia you have been a great help," Kathryne said before leaning forwards and kissing the little girl on the forehead.

Armed to the teeth and with her supplies restocked Kathryne and Sarim left Honnleath. As promised, two days later she reached the forest. It was slow moving through the forest and easy to get lost, the trees were so tall and dense they nearly blocked out the sky. There were spruces, firs and pines and occasionally she came across bilberry bushes that not only broke the monotony but also provided a welcome treat. She had yet to see a mountain goat but she did hear the howls of wolves in the evenings and had come across a few caribou while Sarim had caught himself a hare. Kathryne watched intently for those animals Morrigan favoured – the fox, raven and spider – to no avail.

Her first night in the forest Kathryne felt so isolated and alone that not even her hound could brighten her spirits. She missed Fergus and her friends. She hated leaving Highever so abruptly, telling no one where she going and what she was doing. Fergus must be beside himself with worry and should the worst occur he would never know what happened to her. How she wished Fergus and her companions could be standing beside her now. It was not to be though, no one apart from Alistair could ever know the truth of the ritual and he was needed in Denerim. The Wardens certainly knew she had somehow cheated death but even they could never learn how. So she alone was left to perform this duty.

While not as skilled or silent a tracker as either Leliana or Zevran, Kathryne had been trained to track animals and man and had trained further under the two rogues. She now called upon all their lessons to move quietly through the forest. Almost a day later, sensing Sarim's subdued agitation, the Commander crawled on her stomach to a blind spot overlooking a small hut in a clearing near a mountain stream. The hut was without windows and had a light stream of smoke issuing from the small chimney indicating someone was inside. Her options amounted to either attempting to sneak up to the hut and catch and catch its owner unaware or else wait with her bow at the ready until someone came outside. Knowing her limitations Kathryne decided to wait. She laid her sword out beside her with her quiver on the opposite side. Slowly and carefully Kathryne held her bow horizontal to the ground and moved it in front of her. She nocked an arrow and though it was roughly aimed at the door to the hut the bowstring was not drawn, that would be done at the first sign of movement. It was not an ideal position to shoot a bow, hopefully her time spent practicing would come in handy.

The Warden Commander wasn't sure how long she lay stationary against the cold terrain but dusk had almost fallen when the door to the hut opened.

She watched as a figure in a loosely tied dark cloak slowly emerged carrying a bucket in one hand and clutching a staff in the other. Using her templar abilities Kathryne sensed the familiar yet stronger aura of power surrounding the dark figure even though it was not being held at the ready. She recognized Winter's Breath, the mage staff she had given the witch at Soldier's Peak. The figure leaned on the staff for support as she moved and her gait was not her normal one, her swollen belly upsetting her usual swaying of hips. Raven coloured hair was done up in the same fashion she remembered and the clothes underneath her cloak, though no longer revealing, were still little better than rags. Even before looking closely at her face Kathryne knew at last she had found the witch.

Slowly Kathryne moved to her knees and drew the bowstring back while adjusting her aim for Morrigan's cold, black heart. She calmed her breathing and concentrated on nothing else but putting the arrow through its target. She had the shot, all that remained was the release. Kathryne willed herself to let go of the string but it was as though her hand no longer accepted her commands. Morrigan waddled to the stream's edge while Kathryne kept the witch in her sights. Her aim never slipped as she watched Morrigan fill the bucket and begin walking back to her home. As the witch paused to open the door Kathryne's mind was screaming for her hand to release the bowstring – Morrigan's back was to her and she had the witch's life in her hands. The threat of an Archdemon reborn could be ended just by letting go.

But she would never get her answers.

"Morrigan," she called out.


	23. Chapter 23

_A/N: There are some mild spoilers for the Stolen Throne novel by David Gaider in this chapter. Also, I am ignoring the Witch Hunt DLC since when I originally plotted out this story it wasn't announced._

* * *

Chapter Twenty-Three

Kathryne watched as the witch quickly turned around, dropping the bucket and readying her staff. She saw Morrigan scanning the tree line, hoping to catch sight of whoever had spoken. The tension and fear in the witch's swollen body was clear.

"Cast no spells Morrigan or else you will be dead before your next breath."

The witch used her voice as a guide and turned to look directly at where Kathryne was hidden.

"Is that you Kathryne? Is Alistair with you?" Morrigan asked. "I told you foolish templar that you would never see me again; this child is mine and mine alone. You were warned that none should try to follow. Yet here you are."

"I refused your damned ritual witch, and so am not bound by any agreement." Anger shaded with the pain of betrayal laced her voice.

"So then have you come to murder me sister? To take the life that saved your own from needlessly being wasted."

"I never asked for that," Kathryne yelled. "I was prepared and expected to die when I made the final strike."

"Tis a funny thing is it not how the Grey Wardens seek out the gifted and capable to join their ranks. They get them drunk on stories of heroes and adventure. They seduce with words of redemption and the honour and privilege of being a Warden as if all recruits were virgins needing sweet words of encouragement to open their legs.

"Do they ever speak of the agony of drinking the blood poison? The nightmares? The burning in your blood? Or the horrible death that awaits every Warden? Do they say a word about sacrificing your immortal soul to kill an Archdemon? Never – else what fool would ever join? No, they wait until you have survived their poison and are damned like they are before sharing a tiny fraction of their secrets.

"You were never told of the life you were sentenced to; never told the true cost. I freed you from their lies and now you can live. You are reunited with your brother and can even spend your days with your foolish templar as a Queen."

"I am nothing but a fraud," Kathryne screamed, ignoring that the witch had apparently been watching her. "Hailed as the slayer of the Archdemon Urthemial, which we both know to be false. It lies in your womb waiting for the touch of darkspawn to again corrupt it and be reborn."

"My child is untainted by corruption, he is a pure soul."

"It is not tainted _yet_." After a heavy pause the Warden continued. "The Old Gods sleep in the depths of the earth and when they wake they call the darkspawn to them. Do not try to lie to me - I heard the song during the Blight, every Warden did. The darkspawn dig to free their masters and their touch corrupts the Old God turning it into an Archdemon. This is how it has been for over a thousand years and yet you know better? No one should attempt what you dare and with good reason – it is dangerous and morally wrong. Are you so powerful that you could repel a horde alone when the darkspawn come for the child? You carry the soul of an Old God whose power and knowledge are beyond our comprehension - How can any mere human truly understand and relate to a God or control one?

"Is your desire for power so unquenchable Morrigan that you would even risk another Blight?"

"I did not seek the child only for my own desires. I did it for you sister." Morrigan's voice and control cracked with this admission.

Kathryne wasn't certain what to say next. A small part of her desperately wanted to believe the witch, but by her own words and actions Morrigan had lied before to obtain her desired ends and avoid danger. She needed to look in her eyes.

"A truce Morrigan so we can talk as we once did?"

"Agreed"

With her senses on full alert Kathryne slowly returned the arrow to her quiver and stood up. Keeping a wary eye on the witch she gathered her weapons, returning her sword to its scabbard and slinging her bow and quiver over her shoulder. Tentatively she and Sarim walked towards the small hut. Her hand resting near Starfang's pommel while Sarim was low to the ground with raised hackles. She watched Morrigan close her eyes and felt a small stirring of magic. "It is just Sarim and I. No one other than Alistair knows of your ritual and he is in Denerim."

"I had intended on having a cup of tea," Morrigan gestured to the bucket lying on the ground. "If you wish you may join me though you will have to fetch more water."

The Warden gestured to Sarim to guard the witch, grabbed the bucket, filled it in the stream and returned. Morrigan opened the door and Sarim nudged her aside, entering first as if to ensure it was safe. After a bark the two women followed.

Kathryne looked around the small one room hut. Flowers and other plants hung from the ceiling to dry. It was sparsely furnished with only a bed, table and two chairs, a cupboard opposite the bed and a chest. Apart from the chest everything, including the hut itself, had the rough utilitarian feel of a hunter's lodge that had seen better days. The chest had simple carvings of mountain animals, caribou, hawks, wolves and the like, on its sides and lid. The fireplace sat in the middle of the back wall with a small fire burning. Only the bedding seemed to be luxurious and the work of a craftswoman. Morrigan noticed her studying the room.

"I suspect twas once home to a banished Avvar or some mad hermit and was left to rot," the witch said. "It stank of it."

"Still it is very convenient that you found it."

"Convenient was it," Morrigan laughed dismissively. "It was not that I was being hunted and flew into the mountains seeking refuge. Exhausted and in great pain I came across this hovel and stopped to recover. Yes tis most convenient for me that in my condition I can no longer change form, the child and I barely survived the last time."

The Warden felt the urge to defend herself. "It was just over two weeks ago that I visited Korcari Wilds and your former home. The Dalish said you had already been gone for months. Before that I was in Highever and Amarthine."

Morrigan looked at the Warden with disbelief before turning to fill a small kettle with water from the bucket she took from Kathryne's hand. She watched the witch place some tea leaves in the kettle and set it on a hook by the fire. The Warden told Sarim to fetch her pack from outside. Both woman and later the hound stood tensely until the kettle was boiling and the tea poured. They sat across from each other at the small table with Sarim on the floor between them. Morrigan took a healthy sip of tea before glancing at Kathryne as if to say it was safe to drink.

"You claim that you went to Alistair with your dark ritual because of me."

"Did you know that Flemeth was gifted in prophecy?" Morrigan asked, ignoring the Warden's words.

Kathryne did not know nor did she care and her look clearly stated it.

"She once met a young Prince Maric and Loghain during the occupation. After the betrayal and murder of his mother Maric and Loghain fled the traitors and their Orlesian masters. The two ended up in the Wilds where they met my mother. Flemeth told the uncrowned king many things that night. She told Maric that a Blight was coming and that its heart would be in Ferelden.

"Flemeth also warned Maric that if he held Loghain close that he would be betrayed and that each betrayal would be greater than the last. As told to me by my mother Loghain later laid with his betrothed Rowan; he manoeuvred Maric into killing the woman he loved and who loved him in return; and you know how Loghain betrayed both of Maric's sons at Ostagar. Stupidity must run in Theirin blood. "

Her words shocked the Warden and only led to questions without answers. Kathryne knew arranged marriages did not always lead to love and that paramours were commonplace, but how could Maric have trusted Loghain if he had truly done these things? How could he have left him in a position of authority with Cailan? If the Blight had been foretold why when Duncan had brought his warnings and the darkspawn had massed at Ostagar had Loghain abandoned everyone to the horde? Maric had believed Flemeth's warning, why else would he have allowed the Grey Wardens to return to Ferelden. Why then did Maric choose not to believe the warnings about Loghain especially when proven true? Ferelden would have been a far different land if he had.

"Twas no accident I found you in the Wilds that day. Of course we already knew of the coming Blight and that the battle at Ostagar was only to be the first of many. Flemeth sent me out into the Wilds because she said that the Grey Warden who would slay the Archdemon and end the Blight was out there.

"As a raven I watched you and others battle across the Wilds towards the abandoned Warden base, studying each of you. After you left our home with your treaties Flemeth asked who I thought would be the one to slay the Archdemon. Certainly it was not either of the cowards, the ones who feared toads and cauldrons. I doubted they would even survive the Joining. Alistair, while possessing a modicum of skill, lacks the intelligence, inner strength and resolve to be a true leader even though you think otherwise – he is a better follower than leader. While others would have dismissed a woman I knew it was you and I told Flemeth so. You led those fools in the Wilds, driving them forwards to complete your task. Even if you were not strongest with a blade or in a test of physical strength you were strongest in the qualities that matter.

"I still remember Flemeth's words – '_Yes girl, that Warden alone has the determination and perseverance to succeed where others would fail. Without her this Blight will spread across Ferelden and then all of Thedas. Like locusts the darkspawn horde will spread, destroying all in its path for over a hundred years before another comes. She will raise a great army and will face the Archdemon and give up her very soul to defeat it.' _That was why Flemeth rescued you from the Tower of Ishal and tended your wounds. Even for someone with her power twas no easy thing."

"But I didn't die," Kathryne said. "If Flemeth was so gifted and my destiny predetermined then why bother with the ritual? If the ritual was in her true grimoire then Flemeth already knew of it. She desired power and would surely take the power of an Old God if she was able – wouldn't that change her prophecy?"

"I was never told all of my mother's plans. You may recall that I joined you and Alistair initially against my wishes. Flemeth always mixed the truth with lies and deceit and do not doubt that there ever was a finer liar. Remember it was only after you found the false grimoire in the mage prison that I found out what became of Flemeth's daughters; that she steals our bodies for our youth and adds our power to her own. Perhaps Flemeth sent me with you to grow in power expecting that before the final battle she would find and take me, leaving her in possession of my body and able to offer the ritual and steal the power of the Old God."

"So why did you offer the ritual then unless you too sought power? You said that even though we killed her Flemeth wasn't truly dead. If she lives then wouldn't you pregnant with the godchild draw her attention? You said that you were being hunted."

"I admit to my belief that the knowledge and power of the Old Gods is something that should be protected and not allowed to disappear from this plane. None of the Chantry, the Circle, or the Wardens possess every answer to our questions. That was not my sole reason though.

"When I first left the Wilds I would have proudly answered that yes I sought power," Morrigan said quietly. "Since childhood I was raised that only power could grant my desires or protect me from fools who feared and hunted my mother and me because we do not bend knee to their rules. Separated from others I was taught to rely only upon myself and my power. Taught that friendship, trust, loyalty and love only made one weak.

"Flemeth would hate you. You embody every trait that she teaches makes you weak – you love fiercely, you are selfless and loyal, and you trust. You are all of these things sister and yet you are not weak – you are strong and these 'flaws' only make you and those around you stronger. Do you think Sten or Zevran or even I would have would have fought to the end had another led us? That two inexperienced Grey Wardens would succeed against overwhelming odds?

"I am not the same woman nor do I hold the same beliefs as the girl who left the Wilds in the company of two Grey Wardens. Twas you Kathryne that changed that, that changed me," Morrigan voice was brimming with emotion. Kathryne was too stunned to say or do anything. "Where others might have sent me on my way at first chance or tried to use me for their own ends you have only been honest and open. Where many would have abandoned me to Flemeth you risked your life and the lives of your friends to ensure my safety. Though I treated our companions and your man poorly you were kind to me beyond what was required to ensure my continued assistance on your quest. Go to the chest and take out the leather bag and then open it," she commanded.

Kathryne took out the bag from the chest and returned to the table. She opened it and took out the two velvet pouches. With a nod from Morrigan she opened the first pouch, inside was the golden mirror Kathryne had given her. The one that reminded Morrigan of the mirror she stole as a child and which Flemeth destroyed. The Warden opened the other pouch and inside were smaller objects lovingly wrapped in linen. She unwrapped the first one, it was the silver broach Kathryne had noticed Morrigan eyeing in the Dalish camp that Kathryne had later bought and given to the witch. She did not bother to unwrap the others as she already knew that they would contain the other gifts she had given Morrigan.

"I told you once your friendship was important to me even though I was not worthy of it. I called you sister because there has never been a truer one to me nor another who I would ever name one," Morrigan said as tears began to fall from her eyes.

Kathryne could see it in her eyes and body language that the witch's words were honest and heartfelt and that her admission of 'weakness' was painful to her. "But you betrayed that friendship when you went to Alistair with the ritual. Even before you spoke to me you must have known I would refuse."

"During our travels I watched you risk your life to save others, myself included. Even without Flemeth's words I knew that you would never allow your templar to take the final blow. You were going to slay the Archdemon and destroy your soul doing so. You were going to die for everyone. Die to save us all from the Blight," said Morrigan. "I had the knowledge and power to save you and you refused me. Why could you not live for me sister?"

The tone of Morrigan's voice as she asked her question tore at Kathryne's heart. It reminded her of a frightened child who could not understand that life did not always turn out as we wished. It was not a picture that easily came to mind when thinking of Morrigan. She was always so aloof and confident, even arrogantly so. Was it all a ruse to hide her vulnerable core that Flemeth had never succeeded in completely driving from her? The Warden did not know how to answer and so remained silent, waiting for the witch to continue.

"After I spoke to you I went to Alistair. I did not tell him of Flemeth's prophecy but I did tell him of the ritual and that you had already refused it. He knew as I did if Riordan fell that you would never let him make the final strike, that you would be the one to die. You may not believe me but I did not force or trick Alistair about the ritual, I would not have done that to you. I only told him the truth.

"Alistair agreed to lay with me to save you. I made the preparations while he just sat at the edge of the bed looking ashamed, knowing that he was betraying you."

The Warden did not notice that her hands were clenched so tightly into fists that her fingernails drew blood. Kathryne wanted Morrigan to stop talking but it was like she was frozen, she could not speak or even look away. She already knew the most important part of the ritual and wished to remain ignorant of the details. When she had woken up after slaying the Archdemon it had hurt her that Alistair had completed her dark ritual and the Archdemon had not truly died. That Alistair, for whom being a Grey Warden meant so much, had betrayed their cause – to kill the Archdemon and stop the Blight – for her. The pain had been just as strong knowing that Alistair had been intimate with Morrigan. That she was going to bear his child, something Kathryne could never do. The fear that Alistair might have enjoyed being with Morrigan more than her and still desired the witch to this day tormented her. Even now her dreams were not of darkspawn, they were of Alistair and Morrigan entwined, of Alistair running his hands over her body before he entered her and of Morrigan's face etched in ecstasy as Alistair pleasured her before finally releasing his seed. There were nights when she wondered if Morrigan had to die because of the ritual and the threat it represented or because she had slept with Alistair and if she killed Morrigan maybe then the dreams would stop.

"I removed my clothes and lay on the bed and told him to do the same." Morrigan whether she noticed the Warden's unease or not continued. "I could see his discomfort; it was as if he was being tortured. I offered to enchant his senses so that I would appear to him as you thinking that it would be easier for us both." Morrigan paused and the silence was overpowering. "He refused saying that it would only make his betrayal of you worse than it already was and he would not dishonour what you both shared so.

"I swear to you sister that it was nothing like what the two of you share. There were no sweet words or gentle caresses. There was no tenderness or love, simply the act itself and solely as a means to spare your life."

The tears that Kathryne had been fighting back now fell freely. She was no longer frozen by Morrigan's words and turned her head away so the witch would not see her tears. She felt the gentle tingle of healing magic before she felt hands uncurling her fists before holding them.

"I am sorry to hurt you sister, but I thought you should know," Morrigan said compassionately. She let the Warden cry for a time before speaking again. "What are your intentions now?"

"I don't know," Kathryne answered truthfully. The Warden was under no illusions that Morrigan was not aware that she had come here to kill the witch if necessary.

The Warden and the Witch sat in silence until late in the night before Morrigan decided to get some rest in her bed. A short time later not knowing what else to do Kathryne unfurled her bedroll on the floor and tried to do the same.


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter Twenty-four

When they left Highever, two Wardens set out for Dragon's Peak intending to follow Kathryne's expected path from Dragon's Peak westwards. Leliana and Robert travelled to the Circle Tower to retrieve Wynne with the remaining Warden continuing on to Orzammar, even though they all doubted that was necessary. Now more than a month later they had come to the Korcari Wilds.

It was a mixture of exasperation and pride that Leliana felt as they approached the ramshackle hut that once belonged to Flemeth, the Witch of the Wilds and her daughter Morrigan. The pride was that of a teacher in seeing her lessons take hold and enacted to great effect by her student. Kathryne was nowhere near her equal in tracking (or in preventing it) but she had successfully outmanoeuvred the two Wardens who had followed her trail from Dragon's Peak and even after her party had found them they had followed a few false trails – clearly Kathryne expected that she might be followed and had planned accordingly. The exasperation was from her own stubborn instance that Morrigan would never have returned here and that while Kathryne would come here she would discover it abandoned and quickly move on and head west. This was why after they had spent days going out of their way to retrieve Wynne from the Circle Tower the bard had led them down the western side of Lake Calenhad thinking to get in front of Kathryne rather than chase her. It was a good plan and they were all in agreement, but of course the Warden never went to Redcliffe and now that she was standing here Leliana couldn't help but second guess her decision and the weeks of wasted time it had caused.

The last time the bard was here they had fought Flemeth to prevent her from stealing Morrigan's body. It was a terrible fight with the witch changing into a high dragon and even after they had defeated her Morrigan insisted that Flemeth wasn't truly dead. It was enough to make one wonder why they had even bothered though they all knew the reason why. It wasn't because of Morrigan, it was because of Kathryne. During their travels she had insisted upon aiding each of them on a sort of personal quest, from reuniting Oghren with an old love to resolving the bard's own issues with Marjolaine, without a second thought. It was the mark of a true friend and in part why Leliana was chasing Kathryne across Ferelden and looking forward to confronting Morrigan about why she left on the eve of the final battle after all that was done for her.

As they looked through the deserted hut there were subtle signs that it had been searched before and Leliana recognized a bit of both hers and Zevran's teachings in the execution. While trained as a warrior the Warden had from the beginning spent a great deal of time learning of her companion's skills and abilities, insisting that in order to best lead them she had to have even a basic understanding of everything. It was tactically sound thinking and it also enabled the Warden to establish a friendship with each of them while increasing the respect they all held for their leader. It was also a refreshing change from Alistair whose input too often resorted to 'bash this' and 'smash that.'

"She was here though I can't tell how long ago," Leliana announced. The few tracks they had found could have been anywhere from a few days to a few weeks old what with the heavy rains that had fallen washing most of them away.

"We have to be gaining on her but I wish we had a better sense of how far behind her we are," Robert said.

"Perhaps the Dalish might know?" Wynne asked.

They were still trying to decide whether it was worthwhile seeking out the Dalish and how they might be found in their new homeland when the answer was provided for them when they exited the hut. There waiting for them were six Dalish hunters with bows drawn.

"Who are you that trespass on the home of the Asha'belannar – who you shemlen call the Witch of the Wilds?" the female hunter who seemed to be leading them said.

"We are friends of the Dalish and I think that I met you before when I visited your clan with the Grey Wardens," Leliana said slowly. She recognized the hunter's face but could not recall her name. "Your Keeper is Lanaya is it not?"

"You are Grey Wardens?"

"I am not but he is the Warden Commander of Orlais," Leliana pointed to Robert, "and these men are also Wardens. We are following the trail of a female Warden. She was the one who led the group who fought the werewolves that plagued your clan."

"Keeper Lanaya will want to speak with you and can answer your questions."

"Is it far? We are anxious to find our friend."

Around midday they arrived at the Dalish camp, with its mixture of wooden homes and aravels. They were escorted to a wooden lodge where Keeper Lanaya was waiting. After some introductions and pleasantries the conversation quickly turned to their search for the missing Warden Commander.

"Warden Kathryne was here three days ago," Lanaya said. "I told her that the dark-haired woman she was tracking had left the Asha'belannar's home two months ago heading west. The Warden mentioned going to a place called Honnleath next."

Leliana and Wynne showed the Wardens and the Keeper where Honnleath was located on their map and spoke of their previous visit there during the Blight.

They declined the offer of a meal of a day's rest which Lanaya offered without expectation they would accept. The Dalish Keeper could see they were eager to find their friend and so she offered an escort to show them the quickest path to resume their chase. As they were preparing to leave the Keeper spoke again.

"Wynne you are a healer are you not?"

"Yes Keeper I am. Do you require assistance?"

"No but I was wondering if I could have a word in private with you before you depart?"

A few minutes later the two women walked over to the departing party and their halla riding escorts. Wynne climbed up on her horse and they set out.

"Wynne may I ask what Keeper Lanaya wanted?" Leliana said.

Wynne thought over what the Keeper had said and what it implied. "I am sorry Leliana but it is a private matter. I do suggest that we quicken our pace though."

The mage's words were not spoken as a command but they all recognized that it was. Their gentle trotting pace through the trees was increased and once free of the forests the horses were set loose at a full gallop towards Honnleath.

...

Kathryne wasn't sure when she decided that sleep was going to elude her that night. It might have been the third time she woke up in a cold sweat or when Sarim, dreaming himself, twitched his paws and disturbed her. In any event she got up from the comfort of her bedroll and after placing some more wood on the fire took a seat at the table. In the flickering light cast by the flames she watched the witch sleep and wondered what her next step should be.

It would have been so much easier had she just loosed the arrow without ever speaking to Morrigan. It would have been murder, but it would have been as righteous a murder as could ever be – preventing an Archdemon from being reborn and a renewed Blight. While there would have been some lingering doubt she might have eventually convinced herself that Morrigan was a power-mad maleficar who deserved no mercy.

She replayed their earlier conversation in her mind and was forced to admit that she did believe most of the witch's words, only feeling that Morrigan underestimated the lure of the power of an Old God. However painful, Morrigan's words regarding the ritual had the ring of truth, although the Commander admitted that may have been wishful thinking on her part. Of all her companions Kathryne was the one that knew Morrigan best and the witch had always felt an urge to use her knowledge and power to impose a solution when the witch deigned to involve herself. If Morrigan truly did consider her a sister it would be in keeping with her character to ignore Kathryne's wishes and go to Alistair with the only solution she knew. And Alistair who had led such a harsh life would have gone along with her to preserve the woman he loved and relied upon.

While Kathryne loved Alistair with all her heart she had sometimes felt overwhelmed around him. They were each the others first in both intimacy and true love, but it was different for each of them. Kathryne had grown up in a loving environment, she had loved and been loved, while it was all a new experience for Alistair who had been abandoned at every turn. Their relationship was a new experience he had embraced with a tenacity that at times made Kathryne fearful of both of the strength of his passion and that she was actually hindering Alistair. From the beginning, when they first left the Wilds after Ostagar, he had been content to let a week-old Warden lead them against the Blight. Gradually as they began to know one another Alistair had begun to speak his mind although he was quick to defer when challenged. Later after they had become intimate Alistair fought with wild abandon to protect her, even ignoring his own safety. After she had convinced him it was his duty to take the throne he spoke of making her his queen so that she could in effect become Anora and truly rule Ferelden while leaving Alistair as little more than a figurehead since he felt incapable of ruling justly. While he was a source of strength for her there were little whispers of doubt that insisted her tendency to take charge was holding Alistair back and preventing him from reaching his potential. She could see greatness in him where he saw none in himself. Her worst fear was that rather than using her love and support to build his confidence and become the man she knew he was, that Alistair saw her as some twisted mixture of lover and mother who would always come to his rescue thereby preventing him from growing as a man and king.

Kathryne was raised in a proud and ancient noble house and with a strong sense of duty. Once Riordan confirmed that she and Alistair would never produce an heir together she had known that if they both survived the price of victory would be their separation. She had not wanted to die when she faced the Archdemon but she was prepared to. She loved Alistair enough to give her life so that he might live and become the man she knew him to be. Her death would hurt him but she had faith that in time Alistair would move on and become the man and king Ferelden required. Of course fate, Morrigan and Alistair had conspired for her to cheat death. Alistair had saved her life but at the cost of her leaving him. Morrigan had saved her life and the cost for each of them was still to be decided.

She wasn't sure when Morrigan woke but the Commander had a sense that the witch knew she was being watching long before she rose from her bed.

"I see you are already awake sister. I know that it does not compare favourably to a warm bed but certainly tis better than many of the foul places where we slept during the Blight?" Morrigan asked.

The Commander wished that Morrigan would stop calling her sister, it made it that much more difficult to consider her death. Of course the witch was fully aware of this and was not above trying to influence her. "As you know it is not the worst place I have ever slept before. My troubled thoughts keep me awake."

"Ah, you dwell upon your fears of my son."

"How do you know it is a son?"

"I am a mage and we are connected by my magic, for months I have known that the child I carry will be male. That connection is also how I know that my child is pure and does not bear the taint."

"Yet," Kathryne interrupted.

"Is there no way to allay your fears? What more do wish me to say sister? That in the months before my magic could truly detect the purity of the new life growing inside me that I shared some of your fears – I too remember the broodmother and the corruption of the darkspawn. Do you wish to hear that in those first months when I feared giving birth to a monster or that my mother would swoop down upon me and steal the life from myself and my child that I considered ending my pregnancy? Do you wish to know how many potions I made to kill my son growing inside me and then discarded? Shall I tell how hard it has been going through this all alone? How afraid I am now that my time draws near?"

What could she say in response? It would be so much easier to believe Morrigan was her mother, that she was possessed by a demon and that every word coming from her lips was a lie.

"What has become of our travelling companions?" Morrigan asked, abruptly changing the topic.

After taking a moment to compose her thoughts Kathryne answered. She told Morrigan that Sten had returned home, that as far as she knew Zevran was well and was performing some task for Alistair, that Oghren was now a general of Ferelden's army, that Wynne and Shale were at the Circle Tower researching ways to return the golem to human form, and that Leliana was at Vigil's Keep helping her to re-establish the Wardens before she eventually moved on.

"I noticed that you have omitted your templar? I assume that plans are underway for you to marry?"

"I have not seen Alistair since shortly after the Archdemon's defeat nor are there any plans for us to marry?" A touch of anger laced the Warden's voice.

"Why?"

"Take your pick – he laid with another woman; he betrayed his oaths to both the Grey Wardens and myself when he agreed to your ritual; or that Ferelden needs an heir and two Wardens will never sire a child."

"I told you that he did it to save you! You know he loves you and you should just marry him and be done with it. By the time anyone realizes you can't produce a child you will be ensconced as queen."

In a rage Kathryne pushed herself up and away from the table, her chair falling to the floor. "So your answer is to build lies upon lies. Do you think so little of me?" Not giving the witch time to answer she exited the small hut, slamming the door behind her.

The darkness of night was gradually receding and soon it would be sunrise. She should go and try to catch a rabbit or some other game for later however all of her gear was inside the hut she just dramatically left; along with her sword, her bow, and her hound. Apart from the clothes she was wearing all she had with her was the dagger hidden in her boot. She hadn't even the sense to bring her cloak with her and though it was a chilly morning she would not go back inside while her temper was burning so fiercely.

It could be so maddening talking to Morrigan at times. Despite their travels together and seeing so much of the baser side of Ferelden politics the witch remained staggeringly and wilfully ignorant of so many things. More than once during the Blight she had explained that Ferelden's monarch ruled only with the support of the Landsmeet. That many of the 'pointless' quests Morrigan had objected to were done not only because they were the morally right thing to do, but also because they served to swing the nobility away from Loghain and to their cause. No king or queen could unilaterally dictate terms to the Landsmeet and expect to remain in power for long. Why should it be any different for Alistair and her?

Besides that the witch should already know that she was too honest and honourable not to act in the best interest of her land. She loved Alistair but she knew that even before they had won the Landsmeet and he had been declared king that Eamon had already been planning on whom to marry him off to. She had seen the jockeying to be the next queen during his coronation and could only imagine how the efforts would increase with each childless year they were married. Could she watch as the calls to set her aside grew as younger and prettier woman were paraded before her love? Could she sit idly by as Alistair broke their marital vows to produce an heir with some mistress that she would then claim was her own? By agreeing to Morrigan's ritual he had already proved that he was willing to break the promise of fidelity they swore to one another – it was not unreasonable to believe that he would do it again. Kathryne knew that once a decision was made regarding Morrigan she could eventually forgive Alistair. It would not be easy and things would never be the same between them, but she would always love him though she would never forget.

To do as Morrigan said and become queen would only prolong the pain for them both. In a political marriage such as theirs would be love was the thing that mattered least of all. The fact that they did love one another would only make it worse.

As she walked away from Morrigan's home Kathryne wanted to scream, to hit something with her fists or hack something apart with her sword – to rage against the world and fate. She thought back to her days in Highever before Howe had betrayed her father and when darkspawn and the Blight were only known to her from books. They were good days and she had been happy. She was surrounded by friends and family and though she was raised to be honourable and dutiful she was full of life and love. Honour and duty were not the bane of her existence as they were now, forever forcing the hardest path on her as if testing to see if she would break. She was not yet haunted by unspeakable horrors nor was her spirit tainted like the blood that flows through her veins. Kathryne wanted to return to some of her childhood innocence, to throw off the melancholy that had taken hold ever since that fateful night when her parents had died.

Kathryne came to a decision regarding Morrigan but decided to continue her meandering walk before returning to tell her of it. She wanted to make sure that every outcome was considered first.

When she returned to the hut Morrigan had already prepared a small breakfast of porridge and had brewed some tea. The witch quickly set the table for them and the two women took the same seats they were in a short time ago. They ate in silence and once they were done Kathryne washed the dishes and pot, following their old camp rule that whoever cooked a meal did not have to clean up. Once she was finished she again sat down across from Morrigan.

"Are you fit to travel Morrigan?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I have come to a decision regarding you and the child you carry."

"Oh, and do I have no say in the matter?"

Kathryne spoke her next words quickly wanting to get them said before the witch voiced her displeasure. "If you are fit to travel I want you to come and live with me at Vigil's Keep. If you are unable to travel then I will stay here with you until the child is born and then we will travel to Vigil's Keep."

"Are you insane sister?" Morrigan yelled. Only her pregnant state prevented her from following the Warden's earlier example and storming out of the hut. "You want to imprison me and surround me with Wardens?"

"I want to protect you and the child should Flemeth return and try to steal the power you both represent. And yes, should the child become a danger and draw the darkspawn to him I do want to be in a position to prevent a reborn Archdemon and another Blight. It will not be a prison; it will be a sanctuary for both you and the child. What better place to ensure your safety than with the Wardens?"

"And what happens if the Wardens discover what my son truly is?"

"I cannot answer that," Kathryne said honestly. "I will however swear to you that unless the child becomes a threat I will not betray the truth of his nature and that if the child is not dangerous I will die to protect him."

"Should I refuse?"

The Commander sighed before speaking and her voice was full of regret. "I am sorry Morrigan but I will not allow the potential threat of an Archdemon reborn to wander Thedas unchecked."

Both women stared into each other's eyes, testing their resolve. They both knew that now Kathryne had reached a decision there were only two possible outcomes, either Morrigan would agree and they would leave for the Vigil together or else they would fight and only the woman who survived their battle would leave this place.

"I give you my word that I will return with you to Vigil's Keep," Morrigan said quietly as though she was consigning herself to the most unpleasant fate imaginable. "Give me a few days to prepare some potions and gather my strength before we leave. I warn you though that I cannot walk the entire way to Amaranthine."

"Thank you Morrigan. I have a horse in Honnleath and will purchase a cart or carriage when we pass through there. Is there anything else that you will need?"

"Some more water so that I can wash myself."

Kathryne wanted to strap Starfang to her side before she left to fetch the water but not wanting to upset the delicate truce they had achieved she refrained. Morrigan had given her word and they both had to trust the other. She was on her way back with the full bucket when the nerves she had been battling ever since she decided to tell Morrigan of her decision overcame her. She collapsed to the ground and between retches emptied the contents of her stomach onto the soil.

She looked up to see Morrigan and her hound catching her in a most undignified position. She was on her hands and knees in the middle of a small pool of water from the overturned bucket, before her was her vomit and as she wiped her mouth with the back of her hand the smell overwhelmed her and she began to heave again.

"Are you alright?" Morrigan asked.

"Yes, it is just nerves. I have some herbs in my bag that will help me."

"I am not as skilled at healing as Wynne but I can take a look."

Kathryne nodded her head and soon felt the tingle of Morrigan's magic over her body. It was not as gentle and refined as Wynne, but was substantially better than when she had first learned the spell from the old mage.

Morrigan chuckled softly before she spoke. "Sister it is not nerves that ails you."

"What is it then?"

"You are with child."

Before Morrigan could say another hurtful word and quicker than she had ever moved before Kathryne had the dagger from her boot out and pressed against the witch's throat.


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N: Hindsight being 20/20 I probably should have put dates at the beginning of important chapters to clarify the timeline – ah well too late now. If I've managed to keep to my original plotline it's about seven months since the death of the Archdemon and Morrigan is pregnant by a few weeks more. Sorry for any confusion._

* * *

Chapter Twenty-five

Kathryne's breath was coming in ragged pants as she watched a small drop of blood run from the point of her dagger which was pressed into the tender flesh of the witch's throat, just piercing the skin. Of all the mean-spirited and hurtful words Morrigan had ever said before none had ever been so cruel. To taunt her with the one thing that could never be true.

The Warden was so focused on the dagger's tip that she did not feel the stirrings of Morrigan's power until it was too late.

"Forgive me sister, but I wanted to prevent you from making a mistake. I was not lying when I said you were with child."

Kathryne watched helplessly as Morrigan cast a healing spell on herself, sealing the small wound she had given her. The Warden was too angry to gain the focus she needed to attempt to break the paralysis spell upon her. She knew that she was not pregnant because there was one vital component that was missing, and once she was free of this spell she would wipe the smug look off the face of her 'sister' with it.

"I will release you if you give me your word that you will listen to me. If I wished to harm you there is little that you could do to stop me."

The Warden's eyes moved to see that Sarim too had been caught in the spell. Morrigan was correct that if she wished to kill them both that they would be easy pickings. Kathryne blinked her eyes twice to signal her agreement and soon felt the spell lifting. The Warden quickly gestured to her hound to stand down as he had been preparing to attack.

"Are you willing to listen with an open mind?" Morrigan asked.

"I know for a fact that I am not pregnant. I have not been with Alis...with _any_ man since shortly after the battle with the Archdemon. If a child was conceived that long ago it would show on me almost as much as on you. To the best of my knowledge for there to be a child a father is still required is it not? That is unless the good Fade spirits have answered my prayers," she said tauntingly.

Morrigan did not know how to respond. She knew what she saw with her magic and yet she could tell from the vehemence of Kathryne's tone and body language that the Warden was not lying. "When was your last moon cycle?"

Kathryne thought back and honestly couldn't say. In the almost two years since she had undergone the Joining she may have had three or four cycles, five at most, and they had primarily occurred in the first few months afterwards, before the effects of the taint had fully taken hold. She had yet to meet another female Warden to ask if this was normal and she still remembered the embarrassing and somewhat insulting conversation with Wynne after she had built up enough courage to ask the mage to examine her.

"_If you are going to be in an intimate relationship with Alistair dear you really must know where babies come from," Wynne said somewhat condescendingly. "Despite what the Chantry says you don't dream of your baby and have the good Fade spirits deliver it to you. What really happens is that __when a man and a woman love each other..."_

"_Do you think my mother taught me nothing," Kathryne interrupted Wynne hotly. "I've known where babies come from since before the first would be suitor came to Highever when I was fourteen. If you must know, ever since I became a Warden my cycles have become irregular or missing altogether, and yes this was even before I became intimate with Alistair. There is not a female Warden for me to ask if this is normal and I had hoped that you might be able to provide an answer."_

"Though I have yet to meet another female Warden to confirm this, I believe that after the Joining that moon cycles are one of the things that changes for a woman. I no longer have them with the same regularity as I once did and could not easily tell you when my last one was. I once had Wynne examine me and while she did not know why the change had occurred she did confirm that I was otherwise healthy." Her answer seemed to stump Morrigan.

"Will you perform a ritual with me?" Morrigan asked. Despite seeing the malevolent glare on the Warden's face she continued. "While I cannot explain it yet, you _**are**_ with child. Since you are no mage what I wish to do is join us in my magic so that you can see what I see when I look upon you."

While Kathryne's brain screamed that what Morrigan said could not possible be true, in her heart she wanted to believe her. Just a short while ago she had sought to regain her innocence and belief that good things can and do occur and here Morrigan was offering to prove that the life she had once envisioned for herself was not lost – whatever the danger she had to do this.

"Yes I will Morrigan. What do you need me to do?"

Morrigan looked up at the sky to mark the sun's position before answering. "I need several hours of solitude to meditate and focus my energy before we begin. There is little danger to either of us, however it will require a lot of my strength and willpower and so I must prepare. Please do not disturb me until after midday."

"I will gather some things and leave you to your task then," said Kathryne. "Is there anything that I should be doing to prepare?"

"Try and meditate yourself, calm your mind and relax your body before you return. It will make the journey easier for us both."

Morrigan was already lying down in her bed when Kathryne returned with the refilled water bucket. She quietly gathered her sword and her pack and left the witch to her meditations. The Warden walked back to the blind spot where she had stalked Morrigan yesterday and sat down on the ground facing the hut. Sarim, sensing her mood, sat down beside her and leaned into her. She reached around her hound and hugged him to her chest, burying her face upon his brow before kissing his wet nose. She released him but kept her right arm wrapped around him and scratched his chest for which she received a sloppy lick causing her to laugh. It never ceased to amaze her that Sarim could be so intelligent, intuitive and compassionate towards her, that he could sense her emotions and react accordingly. With her free hand she opened her pack and rooted around inside until she found the pouch with Sarim's treats, she took out two and fed them to him.

"I have to prepare to do some magic with Morrigan boy. I won't be paying attention so I need you to keep watch over us. Will you do that for me Sarim?"

The mabari let out a quick bark of agreement as he wagged his stubby tail. Sarim stood and moved off away from her. As she watched his powerful form lope through the brush without making any noise she wondered, and not for the first time, what she had ever done to deserve the loyalty and love of such a fine companion and friend.

The Warden laid her sword out on the ground before her, crossed her legs and tried to still her thoughts.

...

It was after midday when Kathryne returned to the hut. It had taken far more effort than it usually did, but eventually she had succeeded in calming her thoughts and body. As she entered the smell of herbal tea was thick in the air and she could see two mugs had been set out on the table.

"Tis good you arrived when you did. I have things ready but first you and I must discuss what is to come," Morrigan said solemnly. Kathryne nodded her head to continue.

"Firstly, what I am going to perform here is some old magic that my mother taught me. It is outside the knowledge of the Circle and while it is not your Chantry would consider it blood magic. I do not seek to use your blood to power the spell or control you as a maleficar would, rather I require your blood to link you to my magic so that we may share the same experience. Is that acceptable to you?"

Kathryne had already decided that whatever the risk she was going to see this through to the end. She simply withdrew her dagger and placed it on the table between them for her answer.

Morrigan gave a slight smile before continuing. "While you have some experience in the Fade, I imagine that this will be disconcerting for you and your natural tendency will be to break contact with me and withdraw – you must fight it. We will not be entering the Fade, but to you, a non mage, the experience may seem similar. There is no danger provided you remain in contact with me."

"I understand," Kathryne said. "Would it make sense to bind our wrists?" After Morrigan nodded she retrieved the two leather straps that normally bound her bedroll and handed them to the witch. They finished their tea and Kathryne noticed that while she was very relaxed she was also hyper alert, she looked to Morrigan.

"As you have already noticed sister the tea relaxes you while sharpening your mind. While I need you calm and relaxed, I wanted all of your faculties and abilities intact."

So that Morrigan could be somewhat comfortable, the ritual was going to be performed with the two women sitting in their chairs facing one another with their knees touching. Morrigan took the dagger from the table beside them and cut a small wound onto the palm of one of their facing hands. With that done the dagger was set aside and after they clasped their bleeding palms together they bound the wrists.

The Warden could feel Morrigan's power increasing even before the witch began to chant strange words that had no meaning to her. Kathryne bit down on the subconscious urge to focus her own abilities to combat the magic that was now charging the air in the small hut; she forced herself to take slow, deep calming breaths. She could feel that the chanting was building to its crescendo and closed her eyes, a touch of fear overriding her curiosity. Morrigan stopped and then she felt their foreheads touch – it was like lightning shot through her body, but without the accompanying pain.

"Open your eyes sister," Morrigan commanded.

Kathryne slowly did as she was commanded and it was...it was...strange and a little frightening. Like being in the Fade and yet nothing held the washed out greenish hue nor did she detect the magic that permeated that place. When they began the hut, having no windows and being lit only by the fireplace and some candles, had been somewhat dark but now it was bright and clear with Morrigan and every object shown in vivid detail. Suddenly she realized that while she was still bound to Morrigan she was now standing and facing opposite to where they had just been sitting. She twisted her body and saw a sight that started her panicking – there still sitting in the chairs facing each other where her and Morrigan.

"Calm down sister your mind and body are unharmed. This is normal," Morrigan said as she squeezed Kathryne's bound hand reassuringly. She moved them so that they faced their bodies.

"Normal," Kathryne managed to say between gasps, "This is normal?" She felt her stomach churn. She wanted to poke her body to see if she would feel it, if this was real.

"Yes, normal. When a mage heals she opens up her senses and her magic, seeing her patient with more than just her eyes. How else would we know of any internal injuries? I suspect that all the poking and prodding is mere theatrics to make the process seem less magical and avoid the frightened fools of the Chantry being yet more fearful. If skilled enough none of that," she mimed poking someone, "is necessary."

Kathryne forced herself to slow her breathing. She remembered asking Wynne once when she was injured how the mage knew what to heal. Wynne had tried to explain and at the time the Warden remembered thinking that Wynne had done a poor job of it because it had left her more confused than before – now, seeing this, Kathryne knew that she simply lacked the training, experience and basic understanding of magic to comprehend the explanation.

"Since it will be easier with my body I am going to use it to show you what a mage sees when she is healing. I warn you that I will be slower and far more thorough than a healer typically would be so that you understand what you see. It may be disturbing but you have seen far worse in your battles. Remember do not release my hand."

Kathryne looked at their bound hands and realized that she must be squeezing the life out of Morrigan's hand. She eased her grip and smiled as an apology, Morrigan smirked knowingly at her.

"Dear Maker," exclaimed the Warden Commander as she watched in wonder as Morrigan's body seemed to rise from her chair and laid down at waist height in midair. Morrigan explained that this was for her benefit and not something she would normally do. In reality the witch's body had not moved from the chair, her mind and her power made it appear that she had so that Kathryne could see what Morrigan was going to show her unhindered. Her amazement was quickly surpassed and turned to embarrassment as instantly the witch's clothes disappeared, leaving her naked. It felt like she was violating Morrigan's privacy seeing her like this, a feeling that only grew as they continued; although if the witch felt ashamed or embarrassed it didn't show. Just as quickly the skin disappeared and she saw the muscle that lay beneath. Successive layers disappeared until finally all that was left were bones, and then the process undid itself as layers were put back onto the skeleton. Throughout it all Morrigan described in detail what she doing and what they were seeing.

If anyone asked she would never be able to do justice to the wonders that Morrigan was showing her. At once it was both incredible that the Maker would gift anyone with the ability to do this – to fully see one of his creations in all her glory – and frightening that someone possessed the power to do so. Morrigan focused her thoughts and in close detail they saw her heart beating and then her lungs expanding and contracting with each breath. They saw Morrigan's blood flowing through her veins and finally Morrigan showed the life that was growing in her womb.

Kathryne looked closely at the baby inside Morrigan – Alistair's son and possessing the soul and power of an Old God – and words failed her.

"Reach out with your senses and tell me what you feel," Morrigan commanded.

She studied the babe hard, knowing that Morrigan was asking if she felt the taint in the child and she didn't. Her templar abilities did feel an incredible level of power in the babe – more power than she had ever felt before. He was curled up around himself and he was beautiful, and despite his power and her knowledge of his origins there was a sense of innocence and purity that surrounded him. She thought back to when her nephew Oren had been a newborn babe and though similar in size it looked like there was still more growing to do before this child was born.

The Commander looked Morrigan in the eyes and honestly told her all of her impressions and admitted being concerned at how powerful her son was, even in the womb. When she was finished she felt what could only be described as a flow of love pouring from Morrigan towards the babe. She watched the babe wake and twist inside her womb to face them as if he was going to speak.

"Hello Kayden," Morrigan said tenderly.

"He speaks?" Kathryne asked with astonishment.

"No, but he understands at least the emotions behind my words. He knows that I am his mother and that I love him. I often sing to him in my mind to soothe him. Sometimes I get feelings or a sense of his desires." Morrigan closed her eyes in concentration. "Right now he is wondering who you are – speak to him."

"Um...hello Kayden, my name is Kathryne and I guess I am a friend of your mother's..."

"She is my sister Kayden," Morrigan interrupted.

Kathryne felt a flow of love from Morrigan towards her and was at a loss. She had come here prepared to kill Morrigan and her unborn child; Morrigan knew this and still loved her and called her sister and even introduced her as such to her son. And now she truly knew and understood that Morrigan honestly felt that she was. Kathryne turned to face Morrigan; there was so much she wanted to say.

"I know sister. Now is not the time or the place to speak of such things," Morrigan responded to the Warden's unsaid words. She paused for a moment as if listening.

"Kayden senses the darkness, the taint, in you," Morrigan said softly. "Tis scaring him."

"Perhaps we should leave then," the Warden answered. While not pleased that that the babe could sense the taint she took some small comfort that it frightened him.

"Mother is going now Kayden. I will be back later my little one."

Kathryne again felt the flow of love from Morrigan to her son. At a look from the witch Kathryne said her own goodbye and for some reason also waved. To say it was surreal was an understatement. She closed her eyes for a moment and they were back facing their two seated bodies.

It was not quite so shocking now for Kathryne to see her body rise and come to rest in midair. Morrigan walked through the same steps, striping the layers off Kathryne's body down to her skeleton before putting them back on. The witch showed her where an ogre had broken her arm and Wynne had mended the bone. Just like with Morrigan, Kathryne saw her heart beating, her lungs breathing and her blood flowing. It was similar but different from the other woman's. Eventually, her curiosity got the better of her and she tried to pinch her body; she couldn't, her hand just passed through her body. When she finished laughing at her, Morrigan cast a simple spell at her body – not only did she feel it, she also saw the magic flow between the witch and her body.

"Are you ready to see your child?" Morrigan asked gently.

Especially after what she had just seen Kathryne wanted desperately to believe that she would see a child in her womb, that this wasn't fate trying to break her. Everything she had ever been told, about being a Warden and about how babies are made, stood in direct opposition to what Morrigan was telling her. This was the moment of truth. She felt Morrigan squeeze her hand for support. She turned to face her sister and nodded.

Kathryne was afraid to look and Morrigan finally grasped her chin with her unbound hand and turned her face towards her body.

There was something there although it didn't look anything like a baby to Kathryne's eyes. It looked more like some kind of strange tiny tadpole. It's 'skin' was transparent and you could see its insides. It had a misshapen head and there were the beginnings of two eyes to go along with four tiny flippers. And Dear Maker it had a tail. _What kind of twisted monstrosity was inside her? _ She thought of the taint coursing through her and remembered the broodmother from the Deep Roads – _she swore that she would never become one of those!_

"Morrigan, if I am truly your sister you will kill me now. I don't know what that is but I will not become a broodmother. Please I beg you, kill me," Kathryne pleaded.

"I'm sorry sister; I forgot that you never would have seen anything like this before. I assure you that this is normal and your babe is healthy."

"It has flippers and a tail!"

"So did Kayden, so did you and so did I at that age. I swear to you that every child goes through this process as it grows in the womb. In time the tail will disappear and the flippers will turn into little arms with tiny hands. Later, if you like, we can confirm this with Wynne who will tell you the same thing."

"You swear it?"

"I told you before that I am not the naive girl who left with you from the Wilds – I have changed," said the witch. "I give you my word that I would never do that to you."

Morrigan hugged her and Kathryne felt her eyes burn as tears began to fall. Her tension and fear receded and was being replaced by the wonder that a new life was growing inside her.

There was one last cause for concern. Kathryne released Morrigan and faced what would become her baby. She held out her free hand, opened her senses and concentrated.

Knowing what Kathryne was looking for, Morrigan spoke. "I sense no signs of the taint in her."

"Neither do I," the Warden said with obvious relief. "Wait a second – her?"

"I cannot be absolutely certain yet. Call it a strong suspicion for now."

_A daughter_, she thought to herself. All that was keeping Kathryne standing was Morrigan's grip on her. It was a miracle. "How?"

"I am uncertain. Can you tell me again when the last time you had sex was?"

Kathryne couldn't say the exact day. "It was not long after I woke from the final battle – a few days, maybe a week or so."

"And never again later?"

"I am certain that I'd remember. Alistair has been the only one I ever..." the Warden stopped, embarrassed by her words.

"Strange," Morrigan said more to herself than to her companion. "Tis strange indeed.

"With your permission I am going to cast some spells to investigate. There will be no harm to either of you."

Kathryne agreed and moments later whether by her templar abilities; the sight of magic flowing towards her body; or simply her awareness of the growing life inside her, she felt a faint trace of magic directed not at her but at her womb. Its touch was remarkably gentle and soft. Kathryne suspected that, recognizing the fragility of the life inside her, it was probably the most skilful and precise use of magic Morrigan had likely ever performed and was no doubt mastered on the son inside her.

What seemed like a few minutes passed and finally Morrigan finished. "Sister, stretch out your own senses and tell me what you see and feel."

"What is it? What's wrong?" Kathryne asked, suddenly afraid and half expecting the world to fall into ruin around her.

"Nothing is wrong. I just want your honest impressions and not influenced by anything I might say."

Kathryne closed her eyes and said a prayer to the Maker for the health and safety of this new life – her daughter. When she was finished she again held out her free hand and focused her thoughts and will.

The Warden desperately rechecked the growing life for signs of the taint and thankfully she again found none. Knowing that Morrigan wanted her to go beyond looking for the taint she stretched further and opened up her other abilities, her mind and her heart. She got a similar sense of purity and innocence to what she had felt when she had examined Kayden – perhaps it was something that all in womb shared? She probed further and felt it – it was strong though not as powerful, but it had a similar 'feel' for lack of a better description. The more she studied and focused on it the more certain she was that it was the same or maybe opposite sides of the same coin would be more appropriate. Kathryne continued her examination for a while longer although she suspected that she already knew what Morrigan had noticed.

"What did you see and feel?" Morrigan asked.

"Likely the same as you," Kathryne answered. "While it is not as powerful, there is a familiar 'aura' I guess one would call it." She paused, wondering at the implications. "It is the same as I felt in Kayden."

Morrigan released a breath she had not realized she was holding and then nodded her head in confirmation that she had felt the same.

"How is that possible?" the Warden asked.

"You must understand that there has never been a situation such as this before so I can only venture a guess," Morrigan began. "When you killed the Archdemon you released its soul and its power. That soul sought out the nearest creature bearing the taint to be reborn and it found and entered you."

Kathryne remembered the moments after she had cleaved the Archdemon's skull, when she was bathed in intense light and her body felt like it was being torn apart.

"Because of the ritual the Old God's soul did not destroy you; it flowed through you as I drew it to the child growing inside me. I suspect that traces of that soul and its power remained with you, enabling you conceive a child and those remnants eventually settled in that new life. While both you and the father bear the darkspawn taint the soul is pure and uncorrupted and therefore so is your child. I also suspect that those traces would have faded eventually and that you only had a brief time in which to conceive. Fortunately for you, whether you knew it or not, your body was ready and able."

Kathryne thought back to her last night with Alistair. She had had too much to drink and had woken up in his bed. At the time she had thought it a mistake and yet now it seemed that her 'mistake' was probably the only chance she ever would have had to conceive. While she didn't know enough about magic or the initial ritual to say for certain that what Morrigan said was true, Kathryne had been raised to use to her mind to study a problem, to take it apart into its individual processes and analyze it, and finally to come up with a solution – under those criteria Morrigan's logic appeared sound. There was still one outstanding issue though.

"Why am I not further along?"

"Here again I can only offer a guess that borders on the impossible and has little basis in my understanding of both magic and humans," Morrigan said. "In my case the child was already conceived before the soul of the Old God was drawn into it. In your case the traces of the soul were already present in you at the moment of conception and infused the new life right then. While my child was already human and proceeding at the normal rate of growth before the Old God soul was drawn to it, yours from the beginning possessed the Old God soul and develops at a different pace."

"So my child isn't human?"

"No, she is human however she too will have a fraction of the knowledge and power of the Old God. Will it be enough that she is a mage I cannot say. Perhaps it will manifest itself in other ways. As for why you are not showing as I am again I have a thought.

"My mother once told me that it takes two years from the act of mating until the eggs hatch for a dragonling to be born. While not exactly the same thing, the Old God's the Tevinters worshipped were dragons," Morrigan said sympathetically.

"Two years," Kathryne said aloud. She had already decided that once she returned to Vigil's Keep with Morrigan she would send a rider to Denerim to inform Alistair that it was urgent he come and speak with her. Alistair had been raised feeling abandoned by everyone who should have cared for him. It would not be fair to deny him the knowledge of or the opportunity to share in the life of his own child. No, she would tell him of their child and together they would discuss the future. A two year pregnancy though would not go unnoticed. Arrangements would have to be made for her to be out of sight for an extended period of time otherwise people would talk and the Chantry and the templars were certain to be called. _May Andraste ease the soul of any who attempt to harm or take her daughter_ - this child was a Maker given gift and never would anything or anyone lay an ill-intentioned finger on her without having tasted Starfang first.

"Maybe shorter or maybe longer, there is no precedent for either of our children. I do not envy you sister when the babe begins to move about and kick you," Morrigan said with a smirk on her face.

Kathryne once again focused on the life growing inside her, subconsciously bringing her free hand up and resting it over her womb. Instinctively she knew how Morrigan sent the flow of emotion to Kayden and she now did the same, channelling her love and every warm thought she possessed towards her little one. Once again tears fell from her eyes, the happiest and most joyous tears that anyone had ever shed.

"Let me do one more thing before we return to our bodies," Morrigan said before casting another spell.

If it was even possible Kathryne felt even more connected to her little one and soon she began to hear a drum beat.

"That is the heartbeat you hear," Morrigan announced. "Once we have returned to our bodies if you focus on your child you will feel your connection to her and hear her heartbeat. The spell will last for perhaps a full day before it fails. If you would like we can perform this ritual again later and you can see the development of your babe as it grows inside you?"

"Thank you Morrigan," Kathryne said earnestly, "I would like that very much. Perhaps some time after Kayden is born? You'll need all your strength until then."

The Warden felt herself being pulled towards her body and suddenly she began to feel sensations that were absent a moment ago – she was exhausted, hungry and could feel Sarim nudging her with his nose. She looked around and the hut had lost the brightness it had just held, the only light was from the fireplace and the few candles that had almost burned themselves out. Kathryne left her chair and knelt before Morrigan.

"I am sorry Morrigan, can you ever forgive me?"

"There is nothing to forgive."

"I came here prepared to..."

"Hush sister; let us not speak of it other than to agree that there was cause for distrust on both our parts."

Kathryne nodded her agreement. "You have given me a gift I can never repay sister, thank you."

"I have given you no gift - you would have realized your condition eventually," Morrigan answered, ignoring that if it were not for the dark ritual the Warden would not be alive nor with child. She drew Kathryne into an embrace and tears flowed from both women.

Seeing the effort it had cost Morrigan to perform her spells Kathryne made a simple beef and vegetable soup for dinner. While it had not felt like it, their investigations had actually taken the entire afternoon and the sun was soon to set. The two sisters in all but blood talked over their meal of silly stories from their travels during the Blight - Zevran's numerous and varied attempts to end up in each companion's tent, and the night that a drunken Oghren, returning from the latrine, mistakenly climbed naked into the elf's bedroll thinking it was his own and his shock at discovering it was not. They had teased the dwarf without mercy about his 'new love' and he had been so upset that he sworn off alcohol – for two whole days!

Kathryne had just finished cleaning up and had let Sarim out to do his business when she looked at Morrigan, the witch had a faraway look of contentment on her face.

"Ow!" said Morrigan.

"Are you alright?"

In answer Morrigan grabbed Kathryne's hand and placed it on her belly, little Kayden was stirring and she could feel him kicking. When Oriana had been pregnant with Oren Kathryne had felt her nephew kicking like this, as if wanting to get out and see the world. She had been fourteen at the time and while it had filled with childlike wonder it paled in comparison to this moment and knowing that, against all odds, it would soon happen to her.

"I have been singing to him and yet he still stirs," Morrigan said.

Kathryne knelt down and began to sing to the little one. She sang a popular children's tune from Highever about a twinkling little star that her mother had sung to her as a child and she had, in turn, sung to her little nephew.

Both women were tired and after Sarim had come back inside they prepared for bed. Kathryne knew that it was still early and that a pregnancy was almost as dangerous as battling darkspawn but she could not stop herself from thinking of the little one growing inside her. She wondered what Alistair's reaction would be when she told him. She started to think of names. If Morrigan was wrong and it was a boy she already knew his name would be Duncan. But if it was indeed a girl the choice was not so obvious. Alistair did not know his mother's name and to say it was doubtful that he would seek out Goldanna to inquire was an understatement to say the least. While it was tempting to name her daughter Eleanor after her mother, the woman who had bravely stood strong beside her father and had saved her life, there was another name that she thought was more appropriate and she knew that once she explained the meaning to Alistair that he would agree. They would name their daughter Caitlyn – it meant _pure_ and that was what she was, _pure and free from the taint_.

Kathryne concentrated on the growing life in her womb, sending her love towards her daughter. She fell asleep listening to the reassuring drumming of her little heartbeat.

* * *

_A/N 2: Hopefully the meaning of the dagger attack at the end of the last chapter makes a little more sense now. I know that I have taken a few liberties with Kathryne's pregnancy (figure she's equivalent to about 7-8 weeks – look up a picture, it is pretty freaky), but since we are dealing with Old God souls, magic and dragons we are already deep into the fantasy realm and so I feel justified – hopefully I've rationally explained my thinking (let me know if I haven't). _

_As for the way healing magic works in this story, I felt that this was a more elegant solution than 'cast the spell and the magic knows where to go' and fits in nicely with giving Kathryne the proof she needs. To my mind the Circle would not advertise that healing magic works in this way since it is intensely personal, intimate and does invade the patient's privacy. The Circle knows that if this knowledge was widely known that many of the more devout Andrastians would be outraged and seek to further limit and control the mages, feeling that it violates the sanctity of life – that only the Maker should be able to see the wonders of creation. The Circle teaches its healers to guard this knowledge as zealously as the Wardens guard the secrets of the Joining. That being said, can you just imagine the ton of Anders healing jokes/comments that are waiting to be written, although sadly not in this story. _

_I would like to thank everyone for reading and especially those who have placed this story on alert or as a favourite – it is very humbling. And to the people who have taken the time to leave a review, what else can I say but you all rock and once again thank you._


	26. Chapter 26

_A/N: I want to apologize for the horrendous delay between chapters and thank you for sticking with me. I've always know where this story was going and had loosely plotted out dialogue in my head and on scribbled notes and yet whenever I sat down at the PC nothing flowed. I continued to work on my other ongoing story 'Give Antiva My Regards' hoping that I would clear my mental block on Betrayal. On the last update to Antiva I committed to posting a new chapter for this story before the weekend was over. Well its just after 3AM on Monday but I haven't gone to sleep so I am counting this as a win. I will do my best to stick to a weekly schedule from now on._

_I would also like to again thank everyone who has left a review on this (or on any of my stories). I reread them all when I was trying to push through this chapter and they have all helped me with my writing (although I do still tend to write long sentences and my punctuation still needs work. If Eva Galana is reading this I have fished out my old copy of Elements of Style from University and I am reading it since the lessons didn't take the first time around.). I would encourage everyone for each story they read to click on the reviews and then click on the reviewers and check out the stories that he or she has written or what they list as their favourites. Liso66 has written a couple of stories (The Throw Away Warden & Silk and Steel) that I am enjoying. Eva Galana has written 'The Halla Reborn' that I am sadly behind in my reading and has written others. Nithu has written several stories among them Nolo, Nolle, Nolui which is very good. Ravenstalon has written a one-and-done for Stargate Atlantis that I enjoyed and might just be your cup of tea. There is so much great stuff on this website and so much is posted each day that it is so easy for good writing to slip through the cracks and that is truly a shame. I had better stop and get a couple hours of sleep as I am beginning to ramble and preach and that was not my intention.  
_

Chapter Twenty-six

Kathryne woke the following morning feeling more refreshed than she had felt in quite some time. No longer having the overriding tension and worry of a confrontation with Morrigan helped immensely but she knew the true reason for her untroubled sleep. Her hand moved to rest over her womb and she focused her thoughts on the life growing there – _her daughter, Alistair's and her daughter –_and she heard the drumming of her little heart. No sound would ever be so sweet nor fill her heart with such profound joy. She lingered for a time, content to just lie still and listen.

Remembering that Morrigan was never an early riser Kathryne went to the nearby stream and fetched some water. She was almost finished making the tea and laying out some hard bread, cheese and fruit when the witch finally stirred.

"Good morning Morrigan"

"Morning"

With the pleasantries out of the way the two women sat in silence and ate their meal. The Warden cleared the table and set the dishes aside to be washed later.

"I was thinking that perhaps it would be best were we to leave here tomorrow," Morrigan said, surprising Kathryne with her change of heart. The witch had earlier requested a few days to gather her strength for the journey and that was before yesterday's ritual that surely had drained Morrigan's stamina.

"Are you certain?"

"Yes, with each day we delay the journey will only get harder for me."

"Very well, we'll leave at dawn and head for Honnleath to collect my horse and hopefully hire a carriage or cart."

"And then on to Vigil's Keep," Morrigan said flatly.

"No, we'll be going to Highever first. I left there rather suddenly and I know that after my brother sees that I am well he will want to tear a strip off me for worrying him. It is better to get it over with first rather than have him travel to the Vigil; there will be fewer witnesses as well."

"I should like to see that sister," the witch said after she had finished laughing.

"It won't be pretty, I can assure you of that," Kathryne answered and flashed a smile. "But Highever is renowned for its hospitality so you should be fine."

"Will you go to Denerim?"

"Once we arrive at Vigil's Keep I will send a letter to Alistair telling him I have urgent news and asking him to visit."

"I do not wish him to be a part of Kayden's life," Morrigan interrupted.

"And I will honour your wishes Morrigan. I swore to protect both you and Kayden and I will, even from the boy's father. You will be provided with your own rooms and should you not wish to see Alistair then you can take your meals in your room for the duration of his stay and no mention of you will be made.

"You know Alistair's history just like I do; how everyone who should have cared for him abandoned him. I will not deny him the knowledge of or the chance to be a part of our child's life. However, there are too many ears in Denerim and I will not have Eamon hearing the news before certain decisions are made."

"Eamon," Morrigan said with all the contempt she could muster as she shook her head in disgust. Morrigan disliked the man and his foul, ungrateful wife Isolde. Even after they had saved Redcliffe, Morrigan had rescued her son Connor from a demon, and they had had healed Eamon with Andraste's ashes the woman could not keep a civil tongue to any of their party. And Eamon did nothing to stop her, not even apologizing for her slights and poor judgement.

Kathryne's own opinions of Eamon were only slightly different. She was grateful that he had helped their cause against Loghain and aided their victory in the Landsmeet. He had also supplied many troops towards the final battle, however even a blind man could see the self-interest inherent in each of his decisions. It was also well known that he and Loghain had never gotten along even before Loghain arranged to poison him. Both Maric and Cailan had kept Eamon away from Denerim and the halls of power and with good reason – the man was a conniving bastard and as a subtle as an ox. In front of the Arl she had wanted to ask Loghain whether Eamon's pleas for Cailan to set Anora aside had played a role in his decision to retreat at Ostagar. Surely Loghain had loved his daughter and would have sought to protect her by any means. Only Kathryne's sense of propriety for a dead King and a desire not to drag Ferelden through any more muck had silenced her tongue. And now poor Alistair, lacking confidence in his own ability to rule and for some unknown reason still thinking of Eamon as a sort of father figure, had finally granted him the keys to the kingdom.

She also did not doubt that Eamon was parading every marriageable daughter before Alistair to fill his bed and for this she hated the man. While Kathryne had been the one to leave and had told Alistair to move on with his life, was it too much to ask that it be difficult for him? She had studiously avoided hearing rumours from Denerim because even though she expected Alistair to begin courting another, knowledge that he had moved on would hurt her more than she would ever admit. The Commander would have heard if there had been a betrothal announcement, but for all she knew Alistair might have already found a new love and the knowledge of her pregnancy might not be welcome news – she hoped that wouldn't be the case although there was a chance.

"What are you thinking sister?" Morrigan asked, recognizing the faraway look in the Warden's eyes that meant she was in serious deliberations.

Kathryne shook her head as if to clear the cobwebs from it. "I was trained to always hope for the best but to prepare for the worst. I hope that Alistair is as happy about our child as I am and yet I cannot help but think that I left him and told him to move on with his life. Perhaps this blessing might not be welcome news to his ears."

"Surely you jest. Once he hears the news your templar will be falling all over himself declaring his love for and doting on you."

"If anything a two year pregnancy might give me time to think. I once thought Alistair and I would be together forever and that nothing would ever separate us." Kathryne paused and the pain of remembrance of his betrayal with Morrigan was clear in her voice and on her face. "While I would never deny him a role in his child's life I am prepared to deny a role in my own. If Alistair truly wants to attempt to regain what we once had then he will have ample time to court me and prove himself worthy."

Morrigan smiled the smile of the Cheshire cat, already imagining the many devotions and tasks her sister would put the foolish templar through – though not nearly as many as she would.

"You must think me foolish?" Kathryne asked, her grin matching the witch's.

"Never, I always take great joy in seeing Alistair jump through hoops like some trained hound."

Sarim let out a woof of disgust. Trained mabari do not jump through hoops. Kathryne scratched his ears, "I don't think Morrigan meant any offense Sarim. She was talking about some Orlesian lapdog, not a noble hound like you."

"In all seriousness sister, you should do as you feel you must regarding your templar. Either he will agree to court you and again win your heart or you will have your answer. Although I think you sell yourself cheaply if you have any doubts what his response will be."

Kathryne wanted to believe her, but it was hard to let go of the lingering doubts. It was far too easy to think herself the only wronged party and that all the fault lay on Alistair's and Morrigan's shoulders. That as the injured party she was the only one in a position to offer forgiveness, but that was not entirely true.

Since she had awakened after slaying the archdemon she had stalked Morrigan across Ferelden with the intention of killing her and her unborn child and yet she had forgiven her sister. Kathryne had to do the same for Alistair and also ask for his forgiveness.

She knew that Alistair had loved her deeply and that her refusal of him along with her departure and continued absence from Denerim had likely hurt him worse than any sword wound he had ever received. Perhaps her extended pregnancy would also give her the time to properly court Alistair as she expected him to do for her. If he agreed, they would have the time and opportunity to work through and forgive all their issues, doubts and betrayals so that when their little Caitlyn was born she would be born into a world where her parents were deeply in love with one another.

Together they would talk and freely discuss their relationship and their future, and as one they would move forward as partners and as equals. They would encourage and support one another. Push each other to become the best person they could be for the sake of the miracle daughter their love created. And if they could succeed at doing that, then the remaining difficulties: rebuilding the kingdom and the Grey Wardens, the politics of marriage and the intrigues of court, and even Morrigan and Alistair's son Kaiden to name but a few could not stand before them united.

"Thank you for your kind words sister," Kathryne said.

The two women continued to talk as they packed Morrigan's few possessions and readied themselves for departure. That night they sat outside until after dusk, enjoying the pleasant temperature, the cloudless sky as it turned to darkness and the stars came out, and each other's company until finally deciding that if they still intended to leave at the crack of dawn then they had best head to their bedrolls and get some rest.

Kathryne had no idea how long she had been asleep before she felt the tingle of danger that ran up her spine. Ever since Howe's attack on her familial home the Warden had slept lightly, alert for the snap of a branch or whisper of conversation that would give away an attacker and perhaps save the lives of herself and her companions.

Her senses quickly snapped into focus and Kathryne knew that she was not the only one. Beside her on the floor she could feel the tension in Sarim and hear the subtle difference in his breathing as he too sensed a hidden danger nearby and prepared himself. Kathryne looked to where Morrigan slept on the hut's sole bed and though she could not see the witch clearly, she did see a hand lower from the bed and begin to make the familiar hand gestures they had used during the Blight indicating Morrigan was awake, sensed the same danger and was ready to respond to any attackers.

Before they could make any preparations to combat this unknown threat the wind picked up outside their small hut, quickly gaining such strength that Kathryne feared the hut itself might collapse around them. Just as quickly the wind subsided, and an eerie stillness settled over the hut. Suddenly, a gust of wind hammered against the door, strong enough to blow the door off its hinges and into the hut where it crashed against the fireplace on the opposite wall.

Kathryne slid her right hand downwards under the blanket and grasped the dagger that lay there, while wishing that she had the time to dress in her armour. She stretched out her senses and the Warden could feel Morrigan drawing power into herself and could feel the lingering effects of the magic that had broken the door and battered the hut. She moved to a crouched position and began to move towards where her sword was hanging from the back of one of the chairs set around the table.

She would never make it.

A dark, shrouded form appeared in the doorway and power literally rippled off it and charged the air.

A cackle from the depths of the hell pierced the night and chilled the bone. The Warden risked a quick glance at Morrigan, and although she could not see the witch's face from the tension that had gripped her sister's body Kathryne knew she had recognized it as well.

Flemeth had come to call upon them and there was no question her intentions were to claim the power of the Old God residing in their wombs.


End file.
